71. A Good Sister

“It always happens when you are around.” Dakota whispers almost inaudibly.
“Me?” I ask him shockingly, feeling him nod in response.
“He thinks he won you in the fights. And he owns you.” He reveals, and the room falls into a heavy silence as I recall his words..
*‘You were mine from the start. You were mine the moment I bet on you.’*
He sounded possessed, almost inhuman at that time.
“Xavier was right, I shouldn’t have dragged you into my hell.” Dakota admits, his voice laced with a disturbed edge of guilt.
“I thought maybe if I give in to him and let him do whatever he wants, my other side could finally heal. But.. Fuck!” He exhales, sounding utterly tormented.
“I feel even more fucked up now, and I am afraid I have hurt you worse, to the point where you might never want to see me again.” He hugs me even tighter, sadder, and buries his face in the crook of my neck.
Memories of his brutality floods in my head and my heart pounds heavily, as I recall the humiliation and pain he has inflicted upon me.
“You should have told me, before the first night.” I tell him, chucking those memories aside like a bad dream.
Now isn’t the time to dwell on what he did or blame him, but to find a way to prevent any more damage.
“I couldn’t.” Dakota whispers, and I feel him shaking his head.
“I am not like a Disney Beast, who will turn into a prince after a kiss. I’ll still be a Beast, a vicious, unstable one. And dangerous. For anyone.” His voice takes on a darker, more deeper tone. Like a warning.
“At least you could have given a hint, the Beauty could have found a way to help you.” I whisper softly, not wanting to trigger him.
“How the Beauty could help me?” Dakota asks me almost dejectedly, like he has already given up on everything.
I slowly turn around to face him and this time, he lets me.
Green eyes which are always full of fire, and for the first time, I see them staring at me vulnerably, almost defeatedly. I see no light of hope in them, just a deep sadness that somehow pains me.
He seems so irreparably broken and a good part of me wants to bandage him together.
I lick my lips, before asking him, “Do you want..”
“Emara!” Dakota takes a sharp breath and closes his eyes for a brief second, before he growls. “I DO NOT WANT SEX!” He snaps, his eyes staring at me with so much incense, scaring my little soul with his sudden outburst.
“Hug..” I whisper softly.
My heart is thrashing wildly in my chest, frightened at the way his intense stone-cutting gaze narrows down at me as I murmur, “I was going to ask if you want.. a.. hug, maybe.”
My voice tiny like the hope I am carrying. Despite his unpredictable side, yet slowly, anxiously, I open my arms as a peace offering.
Suddenly, I watch deep sea-green eyes widen and flicker with a storm of emotions, as if he couldn’t believe himself. Slowly, his hardened expression softens, and his shoulders slump down, signaling a crack in his armour.
It’s as if the walls he has built around himself are starting to crumbling down, brick by brick.
Dakota leans in towards me, closing the space between us, almost sheepishly as he surrenders himself to my embrace.
My breast presses against his warm chest, and I am struck by the sheer size of this wild man, how big and muscular he is as he wraps his Herculean arms around me, engulfing me in his darkness.
I gasp, feeling like I am getting hugged by a daydream, which can anytime turn into a vicious nightmare.
But the way Dakota let down his guard, and told me everything, showed me his vulnerability.. He suddenly seems so much smaller, like a lost puppy seeking shelter in my arms, asking for help, or at the very least, empathy.
“It’s okay..” I whisper, feeling how violently his heart is crashing against my chest, like it will explode any second. *He is not okay!*
As I gently caress my fingers along his back, I feel the tension in his stiff muscles slowly melting away under my touch.
“You didn’t deserve this, in fact, nobody should deserve this.” I tell him, my voice gentle as I try to offer emotional support, something he desperately needs.
I couldn’t help but feel deep sympathy for him. Having felt the sting of loneliness myself in just a week here, away from my family, I can only imagine his lifelong struggle of being alone, devoid of family love and support, handling himself at his worst.
In two days, I will return to my family, my safe zone, but Dakota, has no one to return to. He doesn’t even have a concept of what a family feels like. He has been all alone, battling with his demons by caging himself in this haunted room like a mental patient.
“I am sorry you have to go through this everyday of your life, all alone.” My heart aches with empathy for him, while I gently rub his back.
In response, Dakota clings to me even more tightly, gripping me so firmly as if I am his lifeline in the turbulent dark storm he is trapped in.
I can sense every beat of his heart thudding against me, his hot breath fanning my skin and his panic surging through me. He is on the verge of a breakdown and I hold him close, trying to shield him from falling apart.
“Everything is going to be alright.” I tell him, feeling his heart calming down, yet his grip doesn’t loosen as if he is scared to let me go and face the darkness alone.
“It’s okay..” I let my hand gently stroke his broad back and whisper into his ears. “We all are a little damaged from inside.”
The hug feels more like a plea for empathy, a silent request to understand the complexities of his mind.
Since a young age, he was discarded by his parents, and among the darkness, he found a friend, who turned out to be a monster for him.
“You are trying everything to be better, and there is nothing to feel ashamed about. You will be alright.” I ensure him.
I sense a shift in him, a slight ease in his demeanor as his hold and breathing soften, while my hands gently glide along his spine, assuring him the support he craves.
While I provide him a haven of comfort, there is an unexpected warmth in his embrace, that makes me feel so protective.
I have always looked at him as a cold, intimidating man, but in real, he seems like a gigantic baby, which is surprisingly warm and fluffy from inside.
“And you are not weak. You are stronger than you think. I know you can conquer your fears.” I tell him, hoping to reach to his closed walls, that he had built around him for years.
“Can you hear me? Dakota! Dakota?” My voice barely above a murmur as I tilt my head and look at his relaxing face in the crook of my neck.
*Wait.. Is he asleep???*
I watch him shockingly while he nests his head partly on the pillow and partly against my shoulder as he sleeps peacefully.
*Didn’t he mention he had insomnia?*
But watching his sleepy face as he snoozes out in my arms like a baby, makes me feel.. *Content? Really?*
I draw a finger on his forehead, gently smoothing out his stress lines that adorns his face with a burden of tension.
*‘Emara. You are not touching me. Today or ever.’*
His adamant words replay in my head, yet I can’t help but smile as I lightly graze his neatly shaven jaw. It’s cute to see how a vicious grizzly bear turns into a cuddling teddy bear in his sleep.
Though the room is at a freezing temperature, his body warms me up, and his arms cradle me warmly, making me feel like the most safest adobe among the chaos.
Gradually, I let my eyes drift shut, feeling our heartbeats syncing together and I fall deep into the slumber, joining him.
I let him protect me in his world, and I let myself comfort him in his darkness
Something we both need.