52. Hide and Seek

My heart pounds wildly in my chest as I know what those red lights mean.
I freeze on the spot, unsure of what to do. My mind races rapidly with questions and fear, showing me glimpse of what is happening behind that door.
*Is he with someone inside his bedroom?*
*Is he.. Is he having.. Sex?*
Fear bubbles up inside of me, causing an unusual tightness in my chest as if I am watching my whole world crumble apart in front of me.
A part of me wants to sob and run away in the opposite direction, yet curiosity holds its grip tightly on me like a cruel puppeteer, pulling me towards his room.
Strange voices echo behind the door, similar to moans and my fear comes alive. My heart feels heavy as I take the last step, reaching up to his room.
A place where I am not allowed to enter. A mysterious space which he keeps hidden from everyone.
*Like his den.*
A shiver snakes down my spine as I gently nudge the door open. A cold chill hits my skin as I step into the eerie room which is bathed in flickering red lights, like warnings.
*This is not a good sign.*
A sickening feeling crawls up my stomach, as if I am going to throw up with just imagining him with… *someone*. The thought itself shatters my heart.
“Ahhhhh!”
A gut-wrenching cry echoes through the room and my eyes shift from the crimson walls to my right. A shrill chill runs through me when I see Dakota lying on the floor mattress, twisting and screaming like he is in extreme pain.
His hands are gripping the blanket so tightly that his knuckles have turned white against the contrasting blood lights of the room.
“Heart beats per minute crossing 140, suggesting abnormality.”
A machine-like voice fills the air, and I realize that the flashing lights were not indicating of a sexual act, but a forewarning from the AI system about his current distress.
My heart thumps loudly as I hurry to his side while he tosses roughly on the mattress as if he can’t breathe. His face has turned pale and glistens with sweat while he pants laboriously in his sleep.
I realize that he is trapped in a nightmare.
*A violent one.*
“Hey, hey! Wake up!” I shake him gently. His eyes are closed, but his eyebrows furrow in distress as if he is experiencing something terrible in his dream.
“Heart beats per minute crossing 160, suggesting abnormality.” Red lights blink fiercely as if hinting about the upcoming danger.
“Dakota! Dakota!” I yell and pat his arm, jerking hard to reach out to him. Fear grips me from all sides as the only response he gives me is trembles and howls of pain.
*His nightmare is not allowing him to wake up!*
Panickingly, I look around the room, but there is nothing to help. No bed, no side table, no cupboard, just plain walls bathing in red flickering lights.
“Heart beats per minute crossing 180. Calling for emergency aid in Ten.. Nine..”
*Oh, no!*
I rush to the bathroom to get water, but my feet instantly halt in shock as I see the scene in front of me. His bathroom is a complete mess, with white pills scattered all over the marble floor like a sea of small stones.
An unfamiliar knot tightens in my stomach as I pick up the empty orange bottle of medicine from the floor and freeze as I read its label:
*‘Anti-Psychotic Medications - Prescribed by Dr. Xavier Lance’*
My eyes widen in absolute shock. He takes anti-psychotic pills, for what? Instantly, I whip around to look at the medicine cabinet standing wide open in front of me, revealing its horrifying content.
Pharmacy drugs, so many of them and all related to mental disorder- Anti-Depressants, Anti-Manic, Mood Stabilizers, Olazapine, Sedatives, Xanax, Lithium, Zyprexa… and even more that I couldn’t even read.
Each label hits hard like a punch in my gut that I did not see coming. He… He doesn’t have just mood swings. It is far, far beyond than that.
Suddenly, I notice a broken tile next to the cabinet, cracked down to the middle as if it has been punched with immense force.
“Six.. Five..” The AI continues to count down like a ticking time bomb.
I glance back at the doorway, back to where Dakota lays in the painful thorns of nightmare. Instantly, I fill the empty pills bottle with cold water and race back to him with panicking heartbeats.
Without a second thought, I splash water onto his face in a desperate attempt to wake him up from whatever hell he is living in his dream.
With a sudden jolt, his eyes span open and he takes deep gasps of breath as if he was lying breathless on the bed of ocean.
“Two.. One-”
Just in time, Dakota slaps on his wristwatch and the alarm goes off. The room returns back into normalcy, those flashing red lights fade away into a dim, cool shade like a calming moonlight.
Absolute silence echoes in my ears, as if I am dead. But the distress still stirs me up from within as I stare at his trembling state.
Dakota is breathing hard, sweat soaks the thin material of his tee as he rubs his face roughly, like trying to shake himself up from the nightmare he was trapped in.
Swallowing the fear in my throat, I reach out to him. “Dakota?” I place my hand lightly on his shoulder and manage to ask him softly, “Are you okay?” I whisper in a shaky voice.
Green eyes widen at me in confusion and shock, as if he is seeing a ghost. “Emara?” He breathes out, almost disbelieving his eyes as if it is not possible that I am here, in his room, in front of him.
Before I could even respond, Dakota abruptly pulls me into his arms, dragging us both onto the mattress and under his blanket.
A dash of panic beats in my chest as he hugs me tightly in his arm like a child hugs its mom, finding solace after a bad dream.
For a moment, I am too stunned to move by his sudden action. My heart is pounding non-stop like a drum, matching the running thoughts in my mind, while he sleeps calmly clinging on to me like his favorite plushie.
“Dakota.. Dakota?” I whisper into his ear, but he doesn’t move as if he has fallen deep into the realm of peace, where no one can disturb him.
Only minutes ago, he was dithering in pain and now he is sound asleep as if this whole traumatic nightmare was just a part of his normal routine, something he is now used to it.
But I am shocked to my core. His screams are still alive in my head and the way he was writhing while going through psychological pain…
*What was it?*
*Does he get such horrifying terrors every night?*
My eyes wander around his room, which is just plain walls. His bedroom is starkly empty, with no furniture or decor, no lush carpets or luxuries, just a mattress on the floor without any proper bed frame.
*Who lives like this? And how?*
It is all so confusing and alarming!
My gaze shift to the empty medicine bottle in my hand and I twist it around, reading its label again- *Anti-Psychotic Medications.*
“Hey Eve, what are anti-psychotics?” I ask the unknown presence in the room and within a breath she replies back in her robotic voice..
“Anti-Psychotics, also referred to as Neuroleptics are a category of psychotropic drugs mainly used to treat psychosis, predominantly in cases of schizophrenia and other various psychotic disorders. These medications, in combination with mood stabilizers are also used in the foundational treatment of bipolar disorder.”
My blood freez in my veins as I am startled, beyond anything that has happened in these five days. Dakota has schizophrenia? Or bipolar? Or maybe both.
I recall seeing mood stabilizers and sedatives in his medicine cabinet, but the rest of names are slipping away from my memory, leaving me in a street of array.
*There were a lot of pills to remember!*
Even my anxieties are having anxieties right now, thinking what kind of torments does he mentally suffers from that he needs to take all these psychotic medicines?
Once again, my gaze drifts back to the man sleeping beside me. I couldn’t help but feel a throb of.. pity? Or maybe it is empathy?
My heart betrays and clenches painfully at the thought that he never in his life experienced what a warmth of a mother is. He has never been pampered like a child or even hugged with motherly love.
And the way he hugs me in his sleep, it clearly indicates about his subconscious desire for comfort and safety, something he badly craves for.
But, a part of me wants to rip his hands off my body, the same body he used and abused over and over again for days, and now he is asking for sympathy.
Despite the storm of emotions raging within me, I couldn’t bring myself to push him away. Instead, I find myself drawing him closer, offering him the comfort he seems to need so desperately.
*The world has treated him worse, and I probably did the worst.*
My fingers dig into his sweaty hair, a territory I am not allowed to enter. I always thought his hair would feel stiff, given how they always stay perfectly glued to his style. But surprisingly, they feel extremely soft in between my fingers like grazing through fine threads of silk.
“Hey Eve, turn off the lights.” I whisper, not wanting to disturb his tranquil sleep as I lay back, sharing the warmth of his body’s heat.
“Request denied!” The AI replies back instead of switching the lights.
“Eve, turn off the lights.” I say a bit louder and clearer, with eyebrows frowning on my head.
“Request denied!”
As the robotic voice echo in the room, more confusion settles in my mind. Why was my command rejected? Unless.. The lights! They don’t turn off.
That means he sleeps with the lights on. *Every night?*
I look at the man lying next to me. Though sleeping peacefully, yet fighting demons even in his dreams. Could it be that he fears the dark?
Or worse, does he fear what nightmare will crawl out and terrorise him next?
A new wave of compassion grows within me, feeling sorry for him and his mental struggles. He needs help. And care.
As the night deepens, gradually I find myself drifting off to sleep in the arms of a man, who warned me to never touch him. None other than..
Mr. Dakota *Unpredictable* Black!