Chapter 93: Missing Each Other

Darkness crept up, reached out to them with its long shadows, and made Jiyo's face shine even paler than it had appeared at first. He looked like a ghost, lost among gray clouds, narrow and hollow-cheeked, with dark, empty eyes that could not express anything.

"Jiyo", Ben didn't know what else to say. Nature spoke instead of him, howling out his displeasure, his despair as if he could change anything by doing so.

The first drops fell, dark and heavy. Nimble hands scurried across the tables, and removed glasses and bottles as if from far away came Spanish instructions, and requests to avoid the work.

A flash of lightning finally snapped Ben back to the present. "Come on Jiyo Kael - let's go!"

"Yes..." Jiyo Kael sat up and looked to the side. But Ben had noticed the telltale glint in his eyes almost instinctively, and as much as it shook him, he felt the relief that brought him the awareness that he could still see the emotion in Jiyo. He knew that wasn't to be taken for granted. Cautiously, as if not to deter him, he touched Jiyo Kael on the shoulder and forced an encouraging smile.

"High time to seek shelter from the storm!"

He gently pushed Jiyo forward, shocked at how clearly his spine could be felt under the thin shirt. Jiyo was also trembling now. The storm whipped up dust, leaves, and tablecloths, knotted the strings of lights that were hastily removed, and tugged at their clothes. Quickly Ben grabbed the Jiyo's arm and pulled him with him, looked for protection between houses and walls, and pushed on until they reached the house where a room was waiting for him.

They entered wet to the bone, Ben grabbed one of the two available room keys and tried to open the door in the suddenly black night. Suddenly clammy hands clasped his. With sleepwalking certainty, Jiyo Kael forced the key to turn and the door creaked open. A flash of lightning lit up the room for a brief moment, and Ben discovered a sparkle in Jiyo's eyes, or just a reflection of the forces of nature that were being held back with difficulty by walls and windows. But then he heard a voice assuring him that the spark was alive, that his friend was here with him, in this room, in this storm, in this land.

"Together we can do it."

The bare bulb flickered but managed to cast a dim light. Jiyo Kael was shaking again. Ben strode across the room at a brisk pace, unlatched his holdall, pulled out a few dry clothes and a towel, and tossed them in his direction. "Better put that on," he added, at the same time trying to dry his wet locks before removing his wet clothes as well.

Jiyo Kael was already finished, had failed himself sat on the bed in another seat, knees drawn up and wrapped in his arms as if trying to warm them. The sparse light threw a glimmer here and there in his soft hair locks, which were bleached and unusually bright by the relentless desert sun. Benjamin felt that familiar desire again to hold him, to comfort him, and not to let go until the demons that hunted him had snuck away. He knew that they never completely disappeared, because they were the same ones who ambushed him, again and again at the very moments when he believed himself to be safest from them. And he also knew that he was being pursued by only a fraction of the hosts pursuing Jiyo Kael.

The corners of his mouth almost twitched as he remembered how he had thought of Jiyo Kael, even before all this had gradually dawned on him before the realization seeped into his mind like a steady drip and transformed him into a different person had made. Even before his time with Lara, his new wife, Jiyo Kael's daughter during which his jealousy almost made her enemies, he had been regularly irritated by Jiyo Kael's behavior.

Time and time again he misjudged his harsh tone of command as arrogance, even as a PA to me which had both repelled and unsettled him. It wasn't until much later that he realized that Jordan had the gift of concentrating on one thing without hesitation, completely ignoring everything else until he had achieved his goal. And most of the time he succeeded, albeit at a very high cost.

At that time Jiyo Kael had scared him, he had seen something in him that had aroused his constant distrust. Observed from his post inside, the younger man had more than once struck him as erratic and emotional, not to mention his constant habit of disregarding the rules. Despite this, Jiyo's reports were always flawless, and his orders were carried out consistently. And yet there were an unusual number of gray areas in his files, reports that remained sealed, years in his CV that were shrouded in secrecy, and connections that seemed inexplicable.

Only later did he realize that his interest in Lara had only been awakened after he had noticed Jiyo's relationship with her. For a long time he had thought that his focus on Jiyo Kael was primarily based on a desire to protect his work, only much later did he realize that even then it was more than that.

And though they'd bumped into each other violently more than once, fighting each other ruthlessly over and over again, there had been that unspoken, invisible connection from the start, that bond that chained them together, and so did Jiyo Kael, as he did in a silent moment admitted after many years, no matter how unrelenting the storm raged around them. Ben must admit, he despised Jiyo Kael after he rescued Billionaire Marco Fernando behind his back.

The wind howled through the small town, rain pelted with relentless force against the trembling window panes, and the unfamiliar cold seeped steadily through the numerous cracks in the walls into the small room in which Ben and Jiyo had taken refuge. Although it didn't seem to make any difference, Ben tried to close the thin curtains as best he could, as if that were a way of retaining some warmth.

Jiyo stared at the opposite wall, obviously far from that place in his mind, eyes wide and dark, knees drawn up, body tense as if shutting out the world around him.

Ben choked on the memories of the countless times he'd seen him like this, after his agony, before and after a deployment, under the influence of strong drugs, or when rehab had pushed him to the limit. He felt how his hands began to tremble and knew that this time it couldn't be the cold.

A sudden decision made his return to his holdall, from inside which he brought out a carefully wrapped pint of whiskey. He couldn't remember what had prompted him to get these during the long drive; he had acted on instinct without thinking about it. Perhaps he had been driven by the prospect of spending long evenings alone without seeing a trace of Jiyo, or worse, fear of what he might discover in his quest.

Now he was more than happy about this little help, about every opportunity to erect a protective wall against the raging nature out there, no matter how fragile it was.

He undid the shiny clasp and sat down on the bed next to Jiyo Kael with a sigh. The light bulb flickered again, and at the same time, lightning and thunder sliced ​​through the air, making electricity palpable and visible. Ben felt Jiyo Kael unconsciously holding his breath as he approached him.

"Here, have a drink. Then you'll get warmer!"

Jiyo didn't look at him as he grabbed the bottle and took a few deep sips. He coughed dryly, but immediately brought the neck of the bottle back to his mouth as if his life depended on it. Ben watched him, the scent of the alcohol numbing his senses, though not enough to avoid picking up the familiar smell of his friend that he had been trying desperately to remember for the past few weeks. Finally, Jiyo Kael seemed to have had enough. He leaned back and dropped his arm with the bottle in his lap. Ben grabbed him and lifted him as he felt life return to Jiyo Kael.

"No Benjamin!" Jiyo Kael tried to take the whiskey from him.

"That's okay, Jiyo!" Ben wanted his smile at him, but his features didn't want to obey him.

"No, it's not that. Not for you!" Jiyo Kael whispered, almost inaudibly, and clasped Ben's fingers in his, leaning over to put the bottle down on the floor.

Ben felt the touch like a sting, dry skin on his, a torso leaning against his chest, a leg pressed against his, and right in front of him the silky hair, the features that were so soft on one side and so on the other could be hard and which he had missed so much that it caused him physical pain.

With his free hand, he grabbed Jiyo Kael's still damp strands, pulled him closer to him, breathed in the longed-for smell, and searched for those of the other with his dark eyes. His desire flared, merging with the longing that suddenly overwhelmed them both, until at last, their lips met in a passionate kiss that burned through them, making their limbs tremble and their hearts stop.

Ben buried his hands in Jiyo's hair, kissed him as if he never wanted to walk again, never let him breathe again, wrapped his body around him, and felt that he wanted to hold him tight for eternity.

Jiyo Kael clung to the taller one like a drowning man, his hands slid under his friend's shirt, caressed the smooth skin with rough, long-deprived movements, went up to his neck to get lost in the black, thick curls, and again down until they began fumbling at the front of his jeans.

Ben tried to gasp for air, his heartbeat was pounding and he sucked tenderly first on Jiyo's upper and then on his lower lip before he deepened the kiss, letting his tongue in and allowing his passion space. His hands possessedJiyo's body, exploring every scrap of skin they could reach until his desire overwhelmed him and he threw the younger man onto his back in one powerful movement and held there motionless with the help of his weight. Jiyo's wrists were in his firm grip, his eyes hypnotized him, held him spellbound. Both were breathing heavily, their faces just a tiny bit apart, so close that they shared their breath.

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