Chapter 95: Together...Death is the Answer

But in that deep sleep all that vanished, a boyish expression coming to the fore. The air of innocence was heightened by the silky hair, leaving the weather-beaten skin, the lines showing life in and around his forehead, eyes dug, forgotten.

Again he found himself lost in the sight he had longed for, longing to wake the other but unable to interrupt his sleep. A look out of the window showed him that the sun had almost set, its mild light bathed the room in warm colors, set golden accents in Jiyo Kael's hair, and deepened the shadows that surrounded him.

Suddenly he stiffened, winced as if he'd heard something, and opened his eyes. Their eyes met. Ben smiled softly and wanted to approach him, but the tense concentration that had suddenly taken possession of Jiyo's entire body prevented him from doing so.

Jiyo jumped up with a jerk. "They're coming," he murmured, blinking twice before being able to get his bearings.

"Who's coming?" Ben smiled, to which Jiyo only gave him a confused look and finally replied with a dismissive hand movement.

"Forget it! Dream!" He swung his legs off the bed and stood up. Instantly his face turned a chalk white hue and he staggered imperceptibly forward trying to stay upright. Ben was at his side in the same instant, holding him securely and urging him to sit down again.

"Don't rush," he whispered in his ear.

Jiyo just shook his head. "My cycle. Will be right back."

Ben nodded but stayed seated next to him nonetheless, his arm around Jiyo's waist for support. They were silent for a while, and then Jiyo Kael leaned on Ben's shoulder and closed his eyes.

"It's okay, everything's fine."

"No, it's not that at all." Ben raised his free hand and brushed the tangled hair out of his eyes, which made no move to open. "What do you mean," whispered Jiyo, almost inaudibly. Ben breathed in and out determinedly a few times as if to gather courage for the proposal he was about to make.

He leaned towards Jiyo Kael and kissed him gently, tenderly tasting his lips until they parted hesitantly, mouths and tongues merging until the need for air forced them to part reluctantly.

Ben's hands wandered over Jiyo's skin, tangled in the hair while his mouth traced the curved line between ear and shoulder. Jiyo sighed and melted noticeably at the gentle touch. Eyes still closed, his arms wrapped Ben's torso, and long fingers felt over the shirt until they pushed the soft fabric aside and could feel smooth skin over hard muscles.

"I won't let you go again." The words slowly sank into his consciousness until their meaning made Jiyo Kael shiver.

"Ben...Benjamin.."

The eyes, shining turquoise in the light of dusk, had opened, finding answers in their darkly glittering counterparts. Ben finally looked down, buried his face in Jiyo's neck, and whispered, almost inaudibly: "Come home with me!"

Jiyo Kael whispered back. "There's no home for me, you know that."

"Then let me make it for us."

A sound came that most closely resembled a sob, and when Ben looked up, Jiyo's eyes were filled with tears.

"You know that's impossible."

Ben's hug tightened as he answered. "I know that's impossible here." He touched Jiyo's cheek, brushed his chin, and finally rested his hand tenderly on his neck. "I know it's impossible for me to endure even one more day when I don't know where you are, if you are safe as you are."

His mouth traveled up again, lingering on Jiyo's earlobe, which he began to nibble gently, a caress that caused noticeable shivers to run through Jiyo's body.

"Let me help you. I'll find a place for you, a place where I can see you, a place where you can live, and a place where we can be together."

"You would be in danger."

The corners of Ben's mouth twitched before he kissed Jiyo's mouth.

"I can deal with danger."

"Lara?"

His face darkened for a moment. "Your daughter Lara won't find out anything. I'll find a solution."

Jiyo Kael leaned back into Ben's arms. "Nobody must be hurt."

"I know." Benjamin held him so tight it almost hurt.

"That will not happen. We find a way." He hesitated.

"Anything is possible if I can only be with you."

"You really want that," Jiyo stated, almost in disbelief.

"Ben, that's..." He faltered.

Ben took Jiyo's face in both hands and let his gaze wander over the familiar features until he merged with that of his lover, Lara.

"Crazy, and at the same time the only way to stay sane."

Jiyo's eyelids fluttered and he tried to look away, but Ben held him in a relentless grip, refusing to let him go.

"Let's get this straight, Jiyo," he continued in a firm voice.

"I will not leave this place without you, no matter what you say or do, nothing can change that resolve. No matter how strong you think you are, no matter how strong you are, in this case I'm the stronger one and you know it."

Jiyo Kael blinked, and squirmed, uneasiness flashing through his eyes.

"Listen to me! We've both been through so many difficulties, gone through so much together, that I'm no longer willing to let what we share pass by, no matter how much you might fight back or hurt your pride. You will listen to me on this one and probably only point."

Ben stared at him imploringly, almost hypnotically. "I know how important it is to you to be in control, and most of the time it's the wisest thing to let you do it, but..."

Unexpectedly he let go, just gently brushing against the soft hair when Jiyo Kael bowed his head and looked at the floor.

Ben took a deep breath and then added resolutely: "But in this case it's up to me to make a decision."

He received no answer for a long time, watching Jiyo's chest rise and fall in a vain attempt to keep his composure. With a sudden determination, he wrapped both arms around him, pulled him back to him, and whispered in his ear.

"You can't, Jiyo Kael. I can see what's going on with you. Let me help you. Just this once."

The hair on the back of his neck tingled as cool hands traveled up his back and tear-stained cheeks pressed against his neck.

"But only this once Ben? You loved me Ben! I love you Ben! Lara my daughter loves you Ben very much! I can't take shame Ben!!! I can't!!" Jiyo Kael's shouted in despair, hugging Ben and firing his gun at Ben's head, "BANG!"

And firing his gun at his head, "BANG!"

The echo from Jiyo Kael's gun reverberated unto their hearts for the last seconds, their love remains forever in Heaven or Hell?

XXX