Chapter 28-

Six weeks later-
Ember:
I’m on my way over to the house Lucas used to share with Ava. She has been living here alone since she left our house after recovering from the attack. She hasn’t been coping well with the aftermath of what went on that horrible night when Max died, and I almost joined him in the afterlife. The guilt of his death still eats at me, but I refuse to let the terrible things Ian did cripple me. I still have nightmares but overall am feeling like myself again. Although Ava was physically unharmed that night, she was emotionally terrorized and so hurt by him in a way that I can never understand. I wish I could take her pain away but I know it will always be there with her. Initially when I came home after spending the first week at the clinic recovering, we all stayed together at our house, my mates wanting to be close and us wanting to support Ava throughout the ordeal. I think she had started to develop feelings for Lucas before the attack because she has been distant and awkward any time he is around…which is most of the time since neither of my men leave me for long and never both at the same time.
Even now as I’m walking to Ava’s my hand is held by James’ large, calloused one. If I thought my men were possesive or protective before, they have bumped it up to a new level. It doesn't bother me though, they fill me with a sense of safety that I will never take for granted again. Whenever I go to visit Ava, I bring James so I’m not rubbing my relationship with Lucas in her face. The last thing I ever want to do is hurt Ava again. When we’ve talked, she has told me that she knew Lucas and I were in love before he picked her after the bride games and that he made it clear he never had any romantic intentions, but I sense her sadness and I wish I could take it away. I just feel like something is off with her and I don’t want to make it worse. I just want to protect her and for her to be happy again. When I see our different circumstances, it almost makes me feel guilty the for the love I’ve found since coming here, but I know that isn’t right either. I am thankful for both of my men even if it is unorthodox or never what I would have planned for myself when thinking about my future husband.
I’m also anxious for the visit to be over today because tonight my mates and I are celebrating getting the green light for sex, and I have been thirsty for my men for weeks. I have had plenty of oral but just the thought of being able to be filled again has my panties soaked. My two sexy wolves have turned me into a wanton woman and I love it. James and Lucas were both adamant about following Dr. Tanner’s orders to give my body the full six weeks to heal from the trauma of my injuries and to be extra careful about making sure our little growing family was safe in my belly, but as of today the sex ban is officially over! I have tried a few times over the last week to get them to cave and make love to me, but they always responded the same, with mind blowing oral and then promptly putting my clothes back on. I can’t wait to give myself to both of my attentive lovers and father’s to be. I am beyond proud of how my possessive males have compromised these last weeks and how they have been cohabitating mostly in peace. I switch between their rooms in the house each night and have been openly showing them both love and affection. We turned two of the smaller rooms into a suite that Lucas and I share ever other night.
I won’t lie, it’s not perfect, they did have a fight last week when James came home excited to take me to his room for the night after a hard day and found me laid out on the kitchen table being devoured by Lucas’s wicked mouth. That particular fight ended with them having to replace the back door that they crashed through while they went at it. I’m a little nervous for their reaction to what I have planned for tonight, but I want them both in my bed and inside me tonight. “What has got my queen so worked up?” I love James’s knowing, smug smile. I know he can smell how turned on I am right now. Just the thought of tonight has me wet. “You’ll just have to be a really good boy and I’ll show you all the nasty things I’ve been planning for the last six weeks.” His low growl and the wild look in his eyes has my core throbbing. “I’ll have to make sure I’m on my best behavior then little mate.” James kisses me sweetly and then makes himself comfortable on the couch while Ava and I sit in the kitchen and share a pot of tea.
Her skin is pale and she has a far away look on her face that makes me worried. “Ava, are you okay? I know what happened really messed with you, but I want you to come with me tomorrow to the lodge, we are having a planning meeting for the school. I think it would be good for you to get out of the house and see some of the other women.” “I saw Dr. Tanner two days ago.” Ava’s beautiful, blue tear-filled eyes meet mine. “I’m pregnant Ember.” I try not to let the shock, or the horror of her words show on my face. I wrap her up in my arms while her thin body shakes against me. “It’s going to be okay. We’ll figure it out. I’m so so sorry.” “I thought a lot about it, and I can’t raise it…I can’t love any piece of that monster. I know I shouldn’t ask…but you took the man who I wanted to love me. I was attacked and almost died for revenge he wanted for you and your men. If you are my friend, truly want to protect me and make up for the crimes that were committed against me you will take the baby and then let me go home. Not this house, my real home. I want to go back to my parents house or start over somewhere new. I can’t make a life here when the child of my rapist lives in the same village and where I can’t go anywhere without seeing his face. I need a new start.” When I look at Ava all I see is pain and a fierce determination. I feel guilt and despair for her. I think back to my first experience with Ian's evil hands and I wish James would have killed him then and there, but I don't blame him for what happened. He does enough of that himself and he has vowed any violence against women in our pack will be met with a swift death. “I’m sorry for the horrible things that have happened to you, and I meant it when I said I care for you and want you to be happy. Yes, Ava I will take your child and love it for you. I will love it as my own and make sure he or she grows up knowing you loved him or her enough to want a good life for them. You loved the baby enough to keep it from the sins of an evil man. I will be here for you every step of the way, as much as you want. I will speak to James and Lucas and make sure that after the baby is born you will be taken anywhere you want to go with enough money to start a new life.” I stand from the table on shaking legs and kiss her closed, wet eyes and whisper. “Please forgive me.”
I’m sure James heard the conversation, but he lets me grieve my friendship in silence. I know after this we can never go back to how we were, maybe we have been broken for much longer and I just couldn't give up hope for us. I feel his silent strength and know that we will make it through this as we do everything else that has been thrown our way. Three babies? I have no idea how this will work but I know the men I have in my corner will be there and guide me through. They are going to be amazing fathers. This is a problem for tomorrow, tonight is about my mates and I reconnecting and starting our new life together. Tonight is about celebrating our love.