Chapter 51-

Oriel:
I feel small and stupid sitting in my room crying like a child. What is happening with me? I hate feeling weak, normally I would be burning the castle down with my fury and Rowen would be sporting a black eye. Everything is just so new and crazy right now, I always thought that when I found a mate, if I found a mate and it wasn’t Irvin that I would be swept up off my feet. That my mate would be so head over heels for me that he would do anything to make me happy, anything to make me love him back. Growing up and seeing the intense love my parents had for each other must have spoiled me for mediocrity. They had obstacles in their relationship, but they overcame them together. My dads worship the ground my mom walks on, and I feel like a dirty secret.
My woeful thoughts are interrupted by knocking. “Come in.” I do my best to look like I haven’t been in here sobbing like a baby, but Irvin knows me better than anyone else. “What’s eating you up firecracker?” Irvin comes in plops down next to me and I lean into his strong chest, being with him makes me feel safe, like I can do anything, and he will always love me. I breathe in his familiar scent and a little bit of the sadness and my longing for home dissipates. “I’m fine now that you’re here. I just felt like I was drowning for a minute there. I missed mom, Apollo, and our dads, I missed our pack and was just feeling out of place and my pride was hurt.” “I miss them too, and the noise of people. This place is like a mausoleum, the vamps are so damn quiet it freaks me out.” We both laugh and I feel lighter. “Irvin, why do you think he doesn’t want people to know who I am? I know I’m still too young to be claimed but I hate feeling like he is ashamed of me. Is it because I shifted, or killed his brother, do you think that puts me in danger? His brother was a monster, and I obviously can’t control the fact that I shifted. It makes me proud to be like you, and like the warriors of our pack.” “If he is ashamed then he is an idiot. I mean he definitely is an idiot anyway, but there is no way he can be anything but happy to have you as a mate. You are strong, independent, loyal and beautiful. You have so much to offer him and this kingdom. Keep your chin up and prove to him and everyone how fit you are to be queen.” “Thanks for building back up my apparently over fragile ego. At least they agreed to you being close to me in the castle, I need you too much for you to be far away.” “I will always be here, you know that.” “Maybe us being here will help you get to know your little sister. She is sweet and could use someone like you in her corner.” “Yeah, we are taking little steps to get there, but it might take some time. I just feel guilty that I grew up with such an amazing family and she had to suffer with those two lunatics. Anyway, back to the matter at hand did Rowen give you any idea as to why he is keeping your connection a secret?” I sigh and put my head in my hands. “No, he told me that he wanted to sit down and talk it out, but I was so upset and vulnerable that I sent him away. I wish I would have held it together better because now it’s eating me up. I just want to understand my place here and know what to expect.” “Then go talk to him and work this out. As much as I hate the smug prick there must be a reason he doesn’t want people to know who you are. Maybe there are people he thinks might hurt you, I don’t know, some of these bloodsuckers think they’re better than us for some reason.” “I think you’re right, there is no way I’m going to be able to sleep tonight with this on my chest. He is probably in his room, he said that I can come to him if I need anything. I don’t want to wait until tomorrow.” “I can go with you; help you talk things out with him.” I hug Irvin tight before I go to the door. I know Ivin wants to help but I think his presence will only add to the tension between Rowen and I. “No, I should go alone, but I’ll come find you after and let you know what he says.”
I gather my courage as I make my way towards his wing of the castle. I feel so foolish thinking about how we could have worked this out before if I hadn’t been so emotional. I need to get control of myself. Walking down the long hall filled with portraits I realize I don’t know which room is his, and I feel awkward roaming around. I can’t just go up to any door and open it, I don’t think anyone but Rowen and Darius sleep here, but even thinking of accidentally walking in on Darius makes my cheeks flame up. Just as I go to turn around and head back to my own wing a servant pushing a cart of linens walks past me. “Excuse me miss, which room belongs to Rowen? I need to speak with him.” She looks at me like I have five heads on my shoulders. “Uuhhmm..can I give his majesty a message for you?” “Oh, no I need to speak with him directly, it’s important. I appreciate you helping me.” I can tell she looks uneasy like I shouldn’t be here, and she shouldn’t be helping me, but the thought that she is keeping him from important information wins out. “His door is the second to last on the left.” “Thank you so much.” I nod to her, and she keeps walking towards the stairs, I move my legs towards Rowen’s door gathering my courage.
Rowen:
Maddie sits on her knees in front of me her begging voice grating on my nerves. “Have I done something to displease you? Please let me give you pleasure; I rejected my mate so that I could be with you.” I hold my towel up and try to calm my anger. I don’t want her near me, the sight of her diminishing herself before me doesn’t interest me in the slightest. I know this is my fault for making her feel like she has some special place with me. I thought I was clear that what we enjoyed together was strictly physical, I feel nothing for her. My patients are starting to run thin; she still doesn’t seem to grasp that I won’t be bedding her. She thinks she can worm her way back into my bed by begging. “Maddie, I have tried to spare your feelings but you’re not hearing me. I will not now or ever take pleasure from you again. I was foolish to make you think we shared anything but mutual release. There is only one woman who I will give my body to, and she would never beg and cry for someone who does not desire her. She is strong and will rule by my side, you are nothing in comparison to her. Now leave, I don’t want to see you in the castle again.” “But my king, I gave up my mate to serve you. Please don’t send me away.” Her cries only continue, and she now paws at my thighs in desperation. I grab her by the throat when she pulls the towel from my body, baring my flaccid cock.
I smell the sweet floral scent of my mate and cringe as I hear my door click shut. If this social climbing bitch in heat makes more problems for me, I swear by the goddess I will kill her. I close my eyes and hiss my frustration out. What a fucking day, I squeeze down on her windpipe to make sure I get my point across. “How dare you defy me and put your hands on what doesn’t belong to you. If I ever see your face before me again, I will kill you, now get out!” Maddie falls back struggling for breath, her eyes wide with fear. I watch her crawl naked out of my chambers and sigh, just another thing I will have to fix with Oriel.
Oriel:
I slap my hand over my mouth when I walk into Rowen’s room and don’t find him alone. I think I am starting to understand now why he doesn’t want anyone to know I am his mate. Why would he when he has beautiful women falling at his feet. I am too young to claim, and he won’t give up his whoring lifestyle. Do the vampires not value mates as we do? To see him with his hands on her neck naked before her is the tipping point for me, to think I was trying to find him so that I could better understand our dynamic and work through some of our issues kills me. I’m nothing but a fool. If I was mad at him before that was nothing. I wipe the stray tears that have leaked out without my permission, my heart has gone cold. I will never allow him to hurt me again. If he wants to keep me hidden so he can fuck indiscriminately then he is not worthy of my loyalty or love. I don’t care if he is king of the fucking earth, Rowen is nothing to me. I fully intend to reject him and return to my pack.
When I turn the corner out of Rowen’s wing I slam into a hard chest. Ouch my nose, I look up and find Darius before me. Perfect. I go to step away when his strong hands grab my shoulders. “Wait princess, your nose is bleeding, let me clean you up.” “No, it’s okay. I’ll be fine.” “Here my office is only a few steps away and I can help you clean up. Besides you look distressed, let me help you.” I follow him to the room, and he seats me in a large comfortable chair and wipes my face with a cool, wet cloth. “Tell me princess, why are you in the kings wing and what has you so upset?” I look at Darius and I work to reign in my emotions. “I will reject Rowen as my mate tomorrow and Irvin, and I will go home. I don’t belong here.”