xiv. better nights

**For those who care: I did not abandon or forget about this story, college is kicking my ass.**

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The girls stay with me for a while, taking my attention off my stack of invitations and leaving more than half incomplete. They don’t make me feel too bad about it though. We only give out a few of them each day anyway. Von’s dramatic like that.

It’s almost midnight and we’re still up. Some random show is running on Netflix on my computer and Von is sitting on the ground with my foot on her thigh, painting my nails a deep violet. Apparently, I’m “in need” of a do so there wasn’t any getting out of it.

Von lets out a hum and I look at her. Her lips twist to the side as she applies another coat of nail polish. I can tell the look on her face isn’t her focusing on what she’s doing.

“What’s the matter?”

She raises her head, leans back to admire her work, but doesn’t look at me when she says, “I wonder what Kellan’s getting me for my birthday this year.”

I cover my face as Gina bursts out laughing.

“What?” she says, unapologetic. I peak at her through my fingers. “Last year he got me a charm bracelet. And he’s still adding to it.” She says the last part with a cocky expression.

Von and Kellan have got to be one of the most complicated non-couples I’ve ever known. First, he puts up this façade that he can’t stand her half the time but when her birthday comes around he puts more thought into her gifts than anyone else.

The bracelet she got from him last year is real gold. Five karat, I think. I have no clue where he got the money from, but the first charm was a single golden ‘Y’ hanging in the center of it. On the twentieth of every month since, she’s gotten a new charm, different colors, that represented things she loved.

Von doesn’t wear it often because she doesn’t want to ‘risk it’, but she did wear it once a month after catching on to his pattern. It’s at her house, sitting on a plaque.

They make me heave.

“I’m pretty sure last month was the last charm,” Jodene says.

Von makes a show of tilting her face toward the ceiling. “Are you?” Then she shrugs. We all stare at her.

“Are you getting more?” Gina’s tone is impatient and demanding.

Von shakes her head. “Don’t ask me like I know.”

“I don’t like that you found the perfect man in my brother.” Her grin is so wide I wonder if it hurt. “Because he’s not great, you know. He’s an ass.”

“An ass that I’m gonna marry!” she says dramatically and tilts her head back, cackling.

I bite back a laugh at how ridiculous she sounds and lean down to snatch the nail polish from her. “Stop!” I barely shove her and she falls back, hysterical.

I bring my foot up on the edge of my bed to finish off my toes while she cools down with the crazy.

While the thought of her and my brother isn’t as appalling as I make it out to be, it’s the fact that I don’t want them getting mixed up and hurting each other. I’m pro at being Switzerland but the last thing I need is drama caused by any of my friends getting with my family. It doesn’t help that Von isn’t looking for a steady relationship and I have no clue what Kellan wants.

“Guys,” I call, keeping my focus on applying an even coat of purple on my big toe, “I’m gonna apologize to Reese.” The room goes unsettlingly quiet and I add, “You know, for kissing him.”

Now it’s deathly quiet.

Since the exciting events of today, my mind has been reeling with the recollection of that dare. It disturbed me the more I thought about it and I slowly realized it wasn’t right. In terms of me touching him without his permission. And I’m a stranger, which makes it worse.

“Why?” Gina asks, breaking the silence and dragging out the word.

Chewing on my bottom lip, I dip the brush into the polish again. “Just with everything that happened today,” I pause, uncertain, “it had me thinking.”

“I think I see where this is going,” Jodene says.

Von follows. “I need to hear more.”

Pursing my lips, I think over my words before saying, “Oh, you know, it’s just-” I shrug, “I kissed him without his permission. That’s like harassment… isn’t it?”

Von groans. “Why?” She rolls onto her stomach, burying her face in her hands on the floor. “Why do you have to make sense!”

I close the nail polish and toss it on the floor.

I kick up my other leg on the bed and place my hands on my bent knees, resting my chin on them. “It’s just been a crappy day and-” My voice cracks and I drop my forehead against my arms, squeezing my eyes shut against the tears. *You were doing so great*.

A round of soothing words and hushed whispers surround me before the arms do. We fall back on the bed in a heap that makes me sputter a laugh. As gross as I feel, I need it.

“My nails aren’t dry!” I complain, ignoring the wetness trickling into my hair and trying to raise my feet above our tangle of limbs.

I feel wet kisses on one cheek and fingers brushing against my other and I can’t help my grin. I don’t try to. “I’m okay,” I tell them.

My lashes flutter until my eyes are clear enough to make out Jodene’s face above mine. She’s on top of me while Gina’s on my right and Von on my left.

“I think that’s the right thing to do,” Jodene brushes strands of hair away from my face, “when you put it that way.”

“We’re staying the night,” Gina says firmly with a nod as if she’s been contemplating it for a while.

I shake my head and am about to tell her that’s not necessary but the others cut me off.

“I agree.”

“I like this place more than my own.”

My head falls back on the bed. “Von is fine, but you two know your parents hate last-minute sleepover plans.”

Jodene, with her stricter parents, beams down at me. “I’ll just put your mom on the phone.”

“Yup,” Gina agrees, her nose nudging my neck.

I cringe away, giggling.

“You smell nice,” she says and nuzzles her face into the crook of my neck.

Seconds away from peeing myself with laughter, there’s a knock at my door.

“Whatever this is,” Kory’s voice carries into the room. Our gazes move to the door. His eyebrows are raised and a small smile curling his lips. “How about you close the door next time.”

“You’d barge right in any way,” Gina replies.

Kory shrugs, folding his arms over his chest and leans against the frame. His eyes meet mine. I acknowledge him first so the lightness doesn’t get sucked out of the room if he says something to make it awkward.

“Hey.”

He greets me with a nod. “How’s it going?”

“Having a sleepover tonight.”

He straightens. “Figured. How’dyou feel about a movie night? Everyone’s downstairs.”

I’m about to ask what they’re watching as if it matters—I’m going anyway because we only have movie nights when crap happens and we’re trying to cheer each other up. It’s one of my favorite times, which might seem sad since as a family we should do this anyway. I like this better.

“Kellan?” Von perks up. She sits up, brushing her hair off her face almost frantically. I roll my eyes so hard I see stars.

“No,” Kory drawls. He gestures to himself. “Kory.”

“Yeah, whatever. I meant, is he down there?”

“It is a family-”

Von is already up and in front of my vanity. She runs her fingers through her hair, adjusts her cutoffs, and pushes up her boobs all in three seconds.

I blink a few times and Kory mutters, “Oh. kay…”

As Von is reapplying gloss to her lips, the girls roll away from me so we can get ourselves together before going downstairs.

Kory starts again. “I honestly don’t get it.” He’s staring at Von, frown lines etched into his forehead. “Is there something you see in him that’s invisible to others? I’m confused.”

I snort, grabbing some clothes to change into other than the jeans shorts and tank I put on after my shower hours ago.

It must be because we’re related but Kellan is the most reserved person I know and we live with him. The guy hardly has a personality, so it’s hard for us to pinpoint what Von sees in him. Their relationship is just… *different*.

“I mean, he’s hot,” Gina says.

“And he loves kids,” Jodene adds, nodding.

Von nods, running her hands through her hair and fluffing it multiple times. “Two of his more desirable qualities, indeed.”

“Okay, I’m both of those things,” Kory says with a shrug.

Gina catcalls and Jodene basically swoon. *Isn’t she seeing someone, like just now?*

“Okay, guys,” I shake my head at them as I’m leaving for the bathroom. They giggle like a bunch of school girls. “Don’t encourage it.”

I glare at Kory’s smug face, clutching my PJs against my chest as I pass him. My words are low and sharp when I say, “Kellan already has his claws in one of my friends so stick to your fifty-year-old girlfriend.”

His boisterous laugh follows me down the hall and into the bathroom.