xix. a crack in the wall

The girls aren’t subtle with their searching eyes once we’re on deck, making me shake my head. I clear my throat, smiling sweetly when all their eyes turn to me at once. “Are we expecting someone?”

Von’s eyes narrow on me. “Okay, but stand there and act like you’re not dying to see Reese, Kira.”

“We’re not here for boys,” I say, throwing up my hand in exasperation. “Is this all our lives revolve around now?”

“He’s over there by the way.” Jodene points blatantly at something over my shoulder and all I can do is give her a blank stare. “What? He is.”

“You just ignored everything I just said. Just like that?”

Jodene shrugs and I shake my head at her, letting my eyes wander the crowd. I squint at a particular spot where it looks like people are getting body paint. Conveniently, a girl walks past us with cute glittery butterflies painted on either side of her eyes.

I draw in a breath. “Paint. Is that body paint?”

“Yup!” Von says proudly. “Right over there,” she points in the direction I’d been looking before.

I turn to them, giddier than a toddler. “I want it!”

“Go get it!” Von says, matching my enthusiasm. I know she’s mocking me but I can’t bring myself to care.

“I’ll come with,” Gina says, latching on to my arm before I can run off.

“And I…” Von trails off, her eyes wandering again, “need to find a certain brooder.”

Shaking my head at her, I gesture to her face with a finger. “This is sad. This is obsessive. This is wrong, Von. Just wrong.”

Yvonne turns to me with an expression like she smells something morbid. “Says the girl pinning after my thirty-year-old brother.”

Mocking hurt, I draw back, eyeing her. “That wasn’t called for.”

She quirks an eyebrow with a smirk.

“Thirty is still baby-making age,” I add, satisfied to see her smug expression fall then turn to disturbed.

“Found him,” Jodene says, cutting into our weird brother dispute.

It’s almost comical how quick Von’s head snaps to the side, her eyes moving a mile a minute. It’s like watching a real-life computer scan or something—cyber shit.

“Wow,” Gina says under her breath. “I swear, y’all are something else. If you ever catch me acting out like this over some boy please feed me to a shark alive and conscious.”

“Good thing we’re on the water because Lorenxo’s coming over,” Jodene adds.

“You are just on your shit today, aren’t you?” Gina retorts, incredulous.

I snicker. “You’re literally finding everyone other than Jake and it’s hilarious.”

Jodene sighs, looking away and huffing out, “I know.”

Von shifts and my attention draws to her. She has a small, mischievous smile on her face and I follow her gaze to where I know my brother is.

Shaking my head, I send a prayer to every celestial being to give me answers because Kellan is at a pool party in a plain white buttondown and light grey slacks. As if he’s at a dinner party trying to impress a bunch of forty-year-old lawyers and their colleagues.

“Of course he’d say fuck the dress code.” Gina’s voice is amused and amazed, almost choking on her humor. “Still, such a gentleman.”

It’s not like he didn’t know the change in plans for the day, Kellan just doesn’t like being even half-naked in front of a lot of people so it’s understandable. But the guy could’ve worn a simple T-shirt and joggers or something. At the end of the day, he lives to embarrass me.

“Excuse me, girls,” Von says, already backing away. “I’ll meet you over there.” She points again to where the body paint station is.

Laughing, I watch her take off—not running but not walking either—only slowing down to briefly acknowledge attendees that stop her on the way.

“You coming?” Gina says to Jodene, backtracking and tightening her hold on me. Jodene shakes her head and is about to speak but Lorenxo’s voice cuts in behind us.

“Nice party.”

I press my lips together. Before, I’d be doing that to stop from cringing, now I can hardly hold back a smile. I just know Gina likes him but she’s so stubborn.

“You heard my friend speaking,” Gina says when she turns to him. I shake my head as I stare at the side of her face and nudge her. She ignores me.

Lorenxo’s dark brown eyes move to me, telling me he hadn’t heard Jodene speaking. I’m about to give him an encouraging smile when my eyes move to the person who stops next to him. My body goes rigid and my hand balls into a fist.

Reese’s blonde curls rustle on top of his head in the wind. He holds a red cup up to me in greeting and I don’t know what my face does, but I think I smile at him.

“Yeah,” Jodene says, creeping around us slowly, “I’m just gonna go,” she gestures to somewhere I don’t see, “stuff my face.” She leaves us. The traitor.

A silence follows that makes me want to jump overboard. I decide to break it before I start ripping my hair out one strand at a time. “Well, thanks. The hostess is over there,” I wave over my shoulder, “harassing my brother.”

Gina slips her arm from mine and crosses both of hers over her chest. Without a word, she starts to move and walks around Lorenxo, both of them locked in a *long* stare.

Another silence follows that doesn’t include Beyonce on the stereo, water splashing from the jacuzzi below, and laughter ringing from several directions.

I keep my eyes on Lorenxo. “What did you do?”

He throws his free hand up, letting out an incredulous laugh. “Nothing! She just hates me.”

“Oh, she doesn’t hate you.” I try to soothe whatever he has going on and doing a bad job of it because he doesn’t look convinced. I sputter. “What? I’m not obligated to make you feel better. Go talk to her.”

“Always so welcoming and warm, Kira,” he says, humor dancing in his eyes.

I hold my finger up to him. “Look, I’m the second nicest among four, okay? You need coddling? Jodene’s great for it.” My eyes go to Reese who I momentarily forgot stood right there. His eyes are on me and my cheeks flush at his stare. “I see you’re here,” is what comes out of my mouth. I always say the dumbest things around him.

His lips purse and he nods once, slowly. “As I was five minutes ago.”

I don’t know what to make of his tone so I avert my eyes, muttering, “Right.” Then I grin, a little too brightly to be genuine. “Well, have fun!” I pat Lorenxo’s arm as I pass him as a way of comfort (at least I hope so) and hear him and Reese whispering to each other a little aggressively.

Running my hand through my hair, I let out a long breath and feel my muscles relax.

“Wait,” Reese’s voice says but I don’t register anything until, “Kira.”

My body goes tense once more, then placid when I turn to them again the same time a warm hand circles my wrist. It’s only for a second but it jumpstarts all the systems beneath my skin that keep me alive and send them into overdrive. He drops my hand when I’m facing him and reaches up to scratch below his ear with a finger.

My breathing gets shallow at his closeness—we’re just inches apart—and the smell of him, cologne and something else, makes my head swim. *Don’t pass out…*

He’s only a few inches taller than me, but with how close we are, I still have to tilt my head some to meet his eyes. I’m a little grateful his gaze is not on mine because I know I’d be going down if it was paired with what’s going on with my head.

“What I meant was,” he says, twirling the red cup in one hand and shoving his other hand in the pocket of his shorts, “thanks for the invite. This is ah,” he pauses, looking out at the water, then he finally meets my eyes, “an impressive surprise.”

It takes me a moment find my voice and I have to clear my throat before I speak. “It was kind of a last-minute change but it turned out,” I peer over the railing at the dancing bodies below and splashing water from the jacuzzi, “good. It wasn’t my idea though. Von’s the planner so if you need a party planned she’s your girl- that’s assuming she’d want to, and if you want to. And it depends on what it is and she’s real bossy. Trust me, she’s the last person you want to work with but she takes it seriously, you know? It-” I stop, biting my lip and force a smile despite my embarrassment burning holes into my face.

Reese is smiling when I get myself together enough to look up from his chest—a very attractive chest covered by a sky blue T-shirt. “Thank you,” he says, his humor clear as the setting sun on the horizon, “for the recommendation. Now I know who to call when I need… a *planner*.”

For the first time since I’ve looked Reese in the face ever, I find myself smiling one hundred percent genuinely although he’s making an ass of me.
“Are you making fun of me?”

He shakes his head, his curls bouncing in the breeze and his expression mocking. “No. I’m being serious.”

My eyes narrow at him a little. “You’re making fun of me.”

He looks away with a grin, and licks his lips, trying to tone it down when he looks back at me. “I’m not, but would you rather I point out that you ramble a lot when you talk to me?”

I cross my arms, not missing the flash of his eyes down then back to my face. “Who says I don’t ramble with other people?” I don’t. But does he need to know that? Although it looks like he already does.

He cocks his head, pinning me with a knowing stare. “Do you?”

“That’s not the point,” flies out of my mouth and gives me away.

He nods slowly with a hum.

My cheeks burn and I look down, letting my hair hide my face. “So,” I start, wanting desperately to change the topic so I don’t run away from him in a second, “how’s the lawsuit coming?” I ask, looking back up at him.

He inhales sharply, his lips twisting on a smile. “Possibly got lost in the mail. Again.”

“So we go around bashing harassing asshole’s faces into tables regularly?”

His eyes smolder—like actually *smolder*—when he answers me. “It doesn’t happen very often but when needed yeah.”

My cheeks ache, telling me I’m smiling too much, but I can’t help it. It’s more him than the topic anyway. “Good to know.”

He drags his teeth over his bottom lip and my entire being hums in anxiety and excitement. He’s not looking at me in disgust or annoyance or anything negative. That’s a good sign. If anything, he looks like… he’s kind of being seductive. Maybe it’s just me and my hormones.

“I’ve been meaning to ask,” he says, his voice lower than before, so much that I have to lean in to hear him over the music, “how’ve you been? After…”

A sharp breath enters my lungs so fast that I have to hold my breath to stop from choking. “Uh-” The sound is high and squeaky and I turn my face away as I clear my throat. I look back at his chest. “I’m fine.”

“You’re… *fine*?” he repeats. I nod even though it’s not really a question. “I know most of us guys are generally clueless and all but-”

“I’m okay now.” As much as the topic puts a bitter taste at the back of my tongue, it makes me feel lighter that he might be worried. He’s still looking at me in that way people do when they don’t believe what they’re hearing but are pretending to. “I just want to have a good time today.”

I can’t believe this is happening… I’m actually trying to convince Reese Jamison I’m not having an internal breakdown every five seconds. Miracles do happen.

Von’s voice booms from everywhere, cutting off whatever Reese is fixing to say. The deck erupts in cheers, hoots, and screams. To my right, on the higher level, Von stands next to the DJ’s station with a mic in hand a wide grin.

As much as I want to know what Reese was about to say, I’m a little relieved she cut in even if it is unintentional.

“How’s everyone doing this fine evening?” she says, laying on the charm thick. The crowd erupts again and she widens her eyes dramatically. “Me too.”

I lean my arms against the bar behind me to crane my head back easier. “We want the slides!” I call out.

A collective murmur and another round of excited hollering pick up. Von glares at me but not in the way she does when she really wants to kill someone. I shrug with a sheepish smile.

“Thank you, Kira,” she says, her tone sappy with sarcasm.

I purse my lips and look away, muttering, “You didn’t say anything about it being a surprise.”

“There’s a slide?”

I almost jump at Reese’s voice, my gaze finding his. I nod. “There’s going to be.”

His eyebrows raise but the humor in his expression is hard to miss.

I tune into what Von is saying when the installation crew march on to the deck, fully dressed unlike the rest of us. The crowd does what crowds do and make dramatic sounds and I practically vibrate on the spot.

Von finishes off her speech by letting people know there are tubes on the first level deck for anyone who wants to get in the water now and a load of them rush to the back of the yacht where the stairs are.

“Have fun!” Von cheers.

An exciting sound leaves me—something between a scream and a squeak—and I slap my hand over my mouth, looking at Reese. I’m starting to miss the days when he dismissed me or just walk away.

“You wanna go?” he says with a laugh, gesturing to the filing crowd.

Like a clueless bozo, I blink a few times before saying, “With you?”

He shrugs in a ‘why not?’ kind of way but otherwise doesn’t speak. I forget the last seventeen years of speech I’ve developed for a moment and stare at him. It doesn’t help that our gazes are locked and we’re close enough for me to see the gold and blue flecks in his eyes.

Eventually, I nod, hoping I don’t look like a bobblehead. He smiles—that smile—and I fight off a swoon.

“‘Right then.” He gestures to the narrow path.

I glance up at Von as discreetly as I can manage as I turn away from him. To my luck, she’s blatantly staring at us and clearly liking what she’s seeing. I widen my eyes at her as a way to convey my excitement and nerves.

Not even two seconds later, her voice is low on the mic when she says, “Get it.”

I drop my face into my palm, groaning lowly as my face burns. Reese chuckles behind me.