viii. caution to the wind

The cheering that surrounds me is so much louder than the booming music but it’s my motivation to keep downing each shot glass of vodka.

I welcome the unpleasant burn in my throat, shoving the discomfort to the back of my head until after I finish them all.

Kory’s across from me, standing on the other side of the kitchen island and downing just as many shots as I am.

Jodene’s shouting at me like I sometimes hear the football coach go at his team and I know my ears will be ringing for days after this.

Kory won, grinning at me in triumph. His mouth is wet with the alcohol and some of it dripping down the side of his mouth. Shaking my head, I flip him off as his friends jostle him and cheer in victory.

“It’s because you started before me!” I shout over the music, laughing deliriously, my head dizzy and body light.

“Oh yeah?” he replies, holding his arms out challengingly. “Wanna go again?”

It’s the liquor talking when I accept and I push my hair back as someone leans over to refill the glasses in front of me messily.

This is normal behavior for Kory and me. Not taking shots, but the overwhelming competitiveness. Sure this isn’t the first time we’ve competed against each other regarding alcohol, but it doesn’t happen often because like I said, I only drink once a year. Sometimes twice if the occasion is good enough.

Three seconds left to countdown, a hand snatches my wrist and pulls me away from the table, making me stumble in the direction I’m being dragged, almost twisting my ankle. We’re moving so fast that my eyes cross and I don’t see anything for a moment.

When chilly air hit the exposed parts of my body and curl under my skirt, I shiver. But it takes a light pat on my cheek for my eyes to start working right.

I focus on Kellan’s unimpressed stare and the first thing I feel is happiness at seeing my big brother. *Wait… is he bigger or am I bigger…*

“Kel Kel!” I go to throw my arms around him but he holds me at arm's length like I’m an annoying kid trying to smother him. And I kind of am.

“No,” he says simply, his tone making me pout. “What the hell do you two think you’re doing?” he growls, and I wince slightly.

“C’mon, we’re just having fun.” Kory’s voice comes from next to me and I turn to him, blinking blurriness out of my eyes.

“Does alcohol poisoning sound fun to you!”

My head snaps back to Kellan, then I feel myself tilting back. Seeing as my body hasn’t caught on to the fact that I’m falling, I’m willingly going down when two hands brace me from the side.

I smile in Kory’s face, slurring out, “Thank you.”

He snorts and Kellan curses.

“Are you fucking kidding me,” Kellan says, his voice rising. “You know her body practically produces liquor when she starts drinking, Kory!”

Kory makes sure I’m straight enough before dropping his hands. “Excuse me but she had to take shots and at the time, I preferred to do it with her because why not.”

“Hey!” I exclaim, holding up my finger. I don’t realize I’m stumbling back again until both brothers steady me. I laugh, gripping Kellan’s arm. “I’m right here. Don’t…” my head feels like it’s spinning on my body and the words that are right on my tongue fade away.

“No more shots,” Kellan orders. “Both of you. And you-” Something nudged my chin, forcing my head up.

“What!” I say loudly, then laugh when Kellan cringes.

“You’re drinking a gallon of water. Right now.”

I hum, patting his face absentmindedly. “I like water.”

Kellan carries me back into the house and in the kitchen because I want him to. And my feet had stopped working.

The second I’m perched on the counter next to the fridge, Kellan is shoving a bottle of water in my hands and throwing one to Kory.

“Last one to finish has to do the dishes next time mom asks,” Kory says.

Like lightning, both of us are guzzling down bottles of water and every time one finishes, Kellan’s there to put another one in my hand.

I finish all four bottles before Kory and cheer loudly over the music. “Yes! You might be the king of shots but I’ve been drinking water my whole life!”

Kory’s grinning at me and shaking his head with a capped bottle of water still in his hand. He’d only drank two.

“You’re such a dork,” he says.

“And you’re a cheater!” I point at the bottle in his hand.

“I want my friends now,” I say, hopping off the counter. I’m on my way to faceplanting when Kellan pulls me back up. “Where are they?”

Kellan keeps his hold on my hand. “You’re not going anywhere until you can walk straight.”

“Says you!”

His eyes close and he shakes his head. “Can you stop shouting?”

“I want my friends. You’re not my friend, Kellan.”

“Ouch!” Kory instigates, laughing when Kellan gives him a bored look. I grin teasingly.

Shaking his head, Kellan looks back down at me, then his eyebrows furrow and his head jerks. “What’s that?”

I look down at myself, seeing the white gauze that was covering my fresh tattoo peeking out from beneath the sleeve of my crop top.

“Oh!” I say in excitement and reach up to place my hand over it. “It’s my new tattoo, we got them tonight. You wanna see?”

“Ah, so that’s why y’all took so long to get here,” Kory says, pushing himself away from the counter and getting closer. “What’ya get?”

I’m all too eager to peel back the gauze and show them my latest ink.

Kory smiles and says under his breath, “Cool.” And I beam proudly.

I’d gotten my tattoo more detailed out of the four of us, which took longer. My heart is cherry red and almost three dimensional with shadows and highlights. I added a halo with the horns, and while the black and white wings are detailed, they aren’t detailed enough.

I look up at Kellan for his thoughts. He stares at me wordlessly before sighing.

“It’s nice, Kira,” he says and my insides nearly burst.

“I’m getting more work done on the wings the next time I go,” I tell them, covering it back up and pulling my top back in place.

The second it’s covered, I say, “I need the bathroom,” and spin around, ready to ditch them.

Kellan’s hand is still around my arm though, something I don’t realize until I’m moving back to him like a yoyo. I groan.

“I’ll take you,” he says, moving his hand to my wrist.

“Ew,” I say, making a face and planting myself on the spot. Kory throws his head back and laughs.

Kellan looks at me like I’m the stupidest person alive. “Yeah, like I’m gonna go into the bathroom with you. Come on.”

“I can potty alone!” I exclaim, pulling my wrist out of his hand. Somehow, Kory’s laughs get louder.

Kellan gapes at me before his expression changes to amusement and he’s chuckling. Then he crosses his arms and starts wrapping his knuckles against his forehead, his face tilted down.

“Hey! What are you two turds doing with our girl?”

I hurry past Kellan at the first sound of freedom and wrap my arms around Von.

“Finally!” I exclaim. “They were trying to kill me.”

“Can you please watch her?” Kellan pleads. “I can’t do it.

“I was doing a better job,” Kory says.

Von pulls back to stare me in the face, her lips curving into a knowing smile. “Hello, drunk Kira.”

Giggling, I reach up to twirl her hair around my finger. “I feel like a cloud.”

She grins, tapping my nose. “I know. Let’s be clouds together.”

Before I can agree to it, I’m pulled away from her and Kellan is glaring at us.

“No. No more drinking for any of you unless you’re gonna go lock yourselves in a room somewhere. I don’t trust any of the fuckers here.”

“Don’t worry, darling,” Von tells him, “we take care of our own.” She pats his chest lightly.

“Yeah?” he retorts. “So where were you when she was halfway to getting her stomach pumped?”

Von steps closer to him, talking in French and I blink a couple of times, my mind boggled. “Woah.”

“She only had five shots, and Kory was right there, sweety.”

I gag loudly, turning away so I don’t throw up on myself. Once all the food I consumed today settles in my stomach, I breathe deeply and turn back to them.

I ignore Von’s body pressed against my brother and their amused gazes and hold my hands up. “You know what I need?” I say, the song booming through the house giving me an idea. “Karaoke,” I declare, a grin spreading across my face as my eyes go from Von to Jodene. Their expressions become curious and my smile can’t get wider.

I nod at them. “Yeah.”


I’m probably the loudest one in the crowd, cheering on my friends who’re expertly performing *Death of a Bachelor* by Panic! At The Disco.

Von is sitting on the edge of the makeshift stage they set up for the DJ, her long legs crossed and dangling toward the ground as she smoothly belts out the second verse. Her voice is low and silky, almost like the artist himself, with her accent as the perfect cherry on top.

I can hear catcalls and equally loud cheering to mine in the background.

Jodene, drunk off her ass, is swaying slowly, her body moving like a vixen to the bass and sound of Von’s voice and a mic loosely in her hand. She’d sang the first verse and got her own standing ovation. She’s going to be red for a week after she sees the videos tomorrow. She has a beautiful voice—her and Von being the better two and blessed with voices like angels—but she doesn’t do this when she’s sober.

When the bass drops and the chorus comes in, their voices are a perfect melody and hitting every note. The crowd goes wild.

My hands are above my head and I’m mouthing the words with everyone else.

When my eyes open, I miraculously spot Jake close by the kitchen entrance, his mouth hanging open as he stares at Jodene who’s moving her hips seductively and running her hand through her hair.

I can’t help laughing. The morning is going to be fun.

When the song is done, the cheering amplifies and so do the whistles. When the crowd demands another song, I’m pushing myself through the multiple sweating bodies, tripping and getting caught a few times, to go to the bathroom.

I hear the opening to *Crazy=Genius* the same time I disappear into the hallways I know the bathroom is down. I’m mouthing the words to the song with Jodene and swaying my hips all the way there.

“Where are you going?”

It takes me a moment to realize that’s meant for me, and I look over my shoulder, squinting at the face and body that’s walking not too close behind me.

I turn around when it’s clear who it is. “You.”

“Where are you going?” he asks again, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Rooster,” I say, my need for the bathroom forgotten completely as I make my way back to him.

His eyebrows raise and he cuts off my coming words with, “*Rooster*?”

I nod. “That’s your name.”

He does a double-take and I think a see a small smile on his mouth before he responds. “My name’s Reese.”

I’m standing in front of him now. “Is reason there you’re following me?”

He bites his lip, hiding a grin. I blink in shock and amazement. I’ve never gotten one from him before. It’s pretty.

“You’re about to fall over. Just tell me where you’re going?”

I lean forward, dragging out a, “Whyyyy? You don’t like me, so I’m not telling you.”

He’s frowning now. “I didn’t say that.”

I stand straighter, flipping my hair over my shoulder. “Yeah, well-”

I think I’m tilting my head, but then my body gets too heavy and he’s lunching toward me but I feel the impact of my head hitting something hard.