xxix. passing history

“Have you been drinking?” I blurt out.

His hand is the right temperature in mine—not too hot or cold—but his palm is rough, calloused in some places. Oddly enough I like it. It makes him feel even more real.

For a second, he looks as if he’s about to say something witty, but stops himself. “No,” he says instead. He’s been moving backward slowly and we only get to about five steps before he stops. “If you don’t want to, you know you don’t have to come.” He says the words as a reassurance, a guarantee, rather than some manipulative ploy to force me into going anyway.

Staring at him now, he genuinely looks concerned.

“I figured you’d want to chill for a little bit, go for a walk,” he adds before I can find the right thing to say. I guess this is his way of saying he saw how upset I was when he saw me at first. “In fact, if you change your mind on our way there I’ll call you an uber.”

I shake my head but he takes it the wrong way. His hand loosens around mine.

Shaking my head more frantically, I latch onto his fingers. “I… I wish I’d dressed better,” I mutter, my face heating. Thank the stars for the dim lighting.

Reese gives me an exasperated stare. “Can you stop worrying about how you look—you’re gorgeous.” He cuts himself short and I hate the way my eyes widen because he
looks embarrassed enough after his statement.

Still, I can’t stop the giddiness bubbling inside me as much as I can’t stop it from showing.

Biting my lip to hide a smile, I take a bold step forward. I can tell he’s blushing because he’s not meeting my eyes and his gaze keeps going back to the ground. *Curse this dim lighting.*

“Really?” I whisper, forcing him to meet my eyes by leaning forward.

“I mean,” he stutters, “you’re not the only one wearing sweats.” It’s a poor excuse of a cover-up because he’s stuttering for one and his voice dropped to something softer, bashful.

Good to know I’m not the only one out here stuttering. And it’s the most endearing thing I’ve ever seen.

Sure, he’s wearing a grey tracksuit but that doesn’t matter. All the evidence is on his face. He thinks I’m *gorgeous*. I want to flutter like a leaf at the thought.

An overexcited giggle slips out of me. I can’t find it in myself to care anymore.

Reese looks up from the ground to finally meet my eyes. A smile tugs at the corners of his lips and it’s more than enough. I decide then and there to take up his offer.

“Where exactly are we going?”

His smile turns insufferably fine. “I told you,” he says. “Just this small thing.” He’s pulling me again, his fingers tangling with mine, coaxing me gently after him.

I stare at him with my eyebrows high but my insides are in knots. “You seem to forget that I don’t know you like that.”

Even though he’s shown up for me multiple times in the past few weeks, I still don’t know him. Though I can’t deny that I feel abnormally safe in his presence. That alone must mean there’s some trust already set in place.

His expression turns to something I can’t place. It’s not serious in a scary way—there’s still a hint of playfulness but barely. “I’ll never let anything happen to you, Kira.”

I believe him.

I don’t abandon my brother without an explanation. I don’t necessarily have to because as Reese and I are climbing the first set of stairs, away from the plaza, I remember who brought me here. I glance over my shoulder and spot Kellan and Von standing outside the ice cream shop, watching me.

I give them a weak smile and fish my phone out of my pocket to text my brother that I’m fine and that I’d find my way home soon. They don’t try to stop me. Shocking seeing as it’s Kellan watching me walk away and not Kory.

That was ten minutes ago.

Reese and I make it past the incline and are on leveled ground again, dodging college students coming to and fro on the narrow sidewalk. It’s not my first time walking down this road but I can’t stop myself from eyeing the sculptures and high buildings we’re passing. Something about the night puts me at ease, makes me forget the horror that this week has been. Despite multiple sounds of life bombarding me, it’s all so peaceful.

“Just realized, did I steal you from someone?”

I narrow my eyes a little at him before glancing up at him. “It seems like you’re enjoying that thought.”

His eyes are dancing with mirth and he has to look away to hide it. A smile stretches across his face though, which is much harder to miss.

Shaking my head, I look forward with my own smile. “My brother took me to get ice cream…” I trail off, not like the bitter feeling as the rest of the night comes back to me. I’d forgotten all about what was supposed to happen and the fact that I left with Reese… Right in front of them. My friends will not be nice to me when we sort all our mess out.

“But?” Reese says. We hadn’t been holding hands anymore, but he reaches for my right hand—the one I’d been rubbing against my thigh—and places it on the inside of his left elbow.

My tongue goes heavy and slack inside my mouth. It takes everything in me to get it working again. I breathe and swallow hard, wrapping my hand around his lower bicep and trying not to make it obvious as I feel him up.

It’s hard muscle beneath the thick layer of his hoodie. It’s all I can focus on and it makes it easier to tell the truth.

“My friends were there—including Gina. She didn’t seem like she wanted to talk to me and I… wasn’t ready to talk to her if that was the case.” I shrug.

Reese hums, his bicep flexes and I have a feeling he’s clenching and unclenching his fist inside the front pocket of his top.

The people he’d been walking with before are not too far ahead of us and I keep my eyes on their backs the entire time.

“Where are we going?” I ask impatiently.

Reese chuckles. “Not much of a surprise person, are you?”

I smile sheepishly, not looking up at him because that makes me nervous. “Not all the time. But this isn’t a surprise, you’re just taking me to someplace.”

A cool breeze picks up, caressing my face and neck. Sighing, I tilt my head to the side, my eyes drooping close. When I open them again, I see that two girls walking in our direction are looking at us.

One of them is borderline glaring at the guy beside me, while the other unapologetically stares me down. I don’t look away and before I can control it, my eyebrow raises in question. Her gaze averts, but moves to Reese a second later.

It’s the other girl that says, “Hey, Reese,” as they get closer. It doesn’t sound like a greeting though. I can’t put my finger on her tone.

When I glance up at Reese, it’s to see him nod once. Also not a very welcoming gesture. He pulls me into his side gently as they brush past us. I curl myself against his arm to keep from bumping into them.

“You know college girls?” I retort once they’re far enough behind us.

He doesn’t seem to like this turn in the conversation, but he responds nonetheless. “They’re friends of someone I dated a while ago.”

The gasp that leaves me is dramatic. My other hand flies to his arm and both of them squeeze him. That’s when he glances down at me again.

My words come out as a loud whisper. “You *date* college girls?”

He’s really not into this conversation. The expression on his face makes something warm settle in my abdomen. His lips are parted, his tongue poking at the corner of them as he watches me.

His voice drops an octave when he says, “One. And she’s barely a year older than me.”

It takes me a while to remember to respond and I have to blink first, gather myself, then look away. “Oh.” I’m not sure he hears me, but I busy myself with putting air between our bodies again. My chest had been pressing against his arm longer than necessary.

I don’t consider myself particularly blessed when it comes to my body but my C-cups are rather noticeable, especially if they’re on someone.

“I could’ve gone without the greeting,” he mutters.

“What happened,” I ask hesitantly and quickly add, “If you don’t mind me asking. You don’t have to tell me if…” I don’t look at him because I feel like that’s too pressuring. If he doesn’t want to talk about his break up I have no right to push him.

I’m not sure what we’re doing here, but I don’t equate it to having unquestionable access to his life and experiences.

We pause at a three-way intersection and stand there for a few seconds as a car comes to a stop in front of us. The driver waves for us to cross the street and we do. I wave back at them in thanks.

Reese doesn’t answer my question until we’re safely on the other side. I almost forget I asked until he starts speaking.

“She cheated.” He says the words without remorse or any underlying bitterness.

I look at him then because the thought of someone cheating on him is absurd. I’m seconds away from saying just that but he continues.

“And blamed me for it.”

“What?” My voice is sharp and I have to force myself from digging my nails into his arms with how angry I am.

Reese lets out a breath that sounds almost like laughter or amusement. “Yeah, that’s what I said,” he says on an exhale. “Apparently, I worked too much and was always busy.” He rolls his eyes. “It was actually the other way around, but I’ve gotten over it. Her friends haven’t though. They never leave me alone.” There’s some humor under his tone by the end of what he’s telling me.

For some reason, my heart hurt. I can see so clearly that he’s the kind of guy to brush things off with a smile or make them seem small when they had a huge impact on him—even in the past. It’s not that I don’t believe that he’s over her, only that he might be making it out to be lighter than it is.

“I’m sorry,” I whisper.

His eyes lifted from the ground to my own. Reese doesn’t smile this time and I’m grateful he doesn’t this time.

“Nothing you need to be sorry for,” he says gruffly. “ Now, I’m… kind of glad it didn’t work out.”

His gaze is so intense, it feels like he’s looking directly at every pore on my body with how sensitive everything feels. Words don’t come to me because what am I supposed to say to that?

A part of my brain is trying to trick me into thinking that he might—*just might*—be talking about me. But I have no clue what we’re doing. Is this a date? Are we hanging out as new acquaintances? What does he want? What do* I* want?

Reese sees all the questions and overthinking my head is putting me through because that smile tugs at his lips again. He knows exactly what he’s doing with those dimples.
Then he looks forward again, breaking whatever moment we’re caught up in.