Thirty-Five

“Doll are you happy?”
“Of course I am. Why do you ask?”
“You just seem happier lately and I didn’t want to just assume.” Is he blushing? Oh that is just too cute. I smile and we keep walking.
“Well you assumed correctly baby. I am very happy. I think that we’ll never completely get over the loss of our baby but the pain will become easier to manage with time.”
“I think so too, doll.” The sun starts to set and we stop at an empty bench to watch it go down. I lean my head on his shoulder and lock our fingers together and he kisses my forehead.
“This is very beautiful baby. I’ve really enjoyed myself tonight and I want to say thank you.” I turn and gently kiss his lips before looking back at the sky.
“I’m glad that you’re enjoying yourself doll. I’ve enjoyed myself too. Doll, there is something that I want to ask you, or should I say that I want to talk to you about at some point. I don’t want to ruin our night in case what I say isn’t something you’ll like though, so can we talk tomorrow?” I furrow my brows looking at him confused because I’d rather discuss it now since he brought it up but he looks nervous so we can wait until tomorrow.
“Okay baby, we can talk tomorrow.” I see his nervousness disappear and that gorgeous smile that I love returns. After a few more minutes we get up and head back to the car and go home. We head to the bathroom and jump in the shower. I finish before him and head to the room to set up the stuff I’ll need for tonight. I get the two different oils I’m going to need, turn on the music, light the cherry blossom candles, turn off the lights, and get a towel to get the oils off my hands when I’m done.
“Okay I’m all set.”
I hear the water finally turn off in the bathroom and I put on my nightgown with no panties and sit at the foot of the bed waiting for him to come into the room. When he walks in he takes a look around and smiles when his eyes land on me.
“Uh what is all of this?”
“Well I figured you could use a massage. You haven’t been sleeping that well and I think this may help.”
“You don’t have to do this doll. I sleep better with you.”
“I know that I don’t have to do it, but I want to do it baby. There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for my King.” He goes to his drawer to get his boxers and I get up and stand in front of him.
“You won’t be needing those tonight. I plan on giving you a full body massage and you’ll need to be naked.” I grab his towel and dry him off then grab his hand and lead him to the bed.
“I need you on your stomach first. Oh there is one rule though, and that is that you can’t touch me no matter what happens.”
“Alright.”
Once he’s on his stomach I take off my nightgown and pour some of the cherry blossom oil onto my hands and straddle him just below his ass and then I gently kiss down the center of his back. Next I start to massage his neck and shoulders. I have to press a little harder since he’s very muscular plus I don’t have very much upper body strength. Using my thumbs I press into the deep tissue working my way down to his shoulder blades and even further until I reach the small of his back. I add some more oil and move my body between his legs then start to massage his butt and below then work my way down his left leg and then down his right.
I love hearing the sounds he makes when I give him massages. They let me know that I’m doing a good job and that he’s enjoying every minute. I used to be afraid to give massages because I didn’t know if I would be good or awful and plus if you don’t know what you’re doing, you can actually hurt someone more than help them. I’d never want to hurt him especially when I know he’s already in pain. I guess it’s a good thing I’m a natural according to him.
As he moans in content under my touch, I start to get a little nervous since I’m about to ask him to turn over so that I can do the front of him. I need to be able to complete his massage without him touching me otherwise I won’t be able to finish. Once I’ve made sure that I’ve gotten all of the knots out by going back up his body, I move from off of him and tell him to lie on his back. Once he turns over I put more oil on my hands then straddle him. Now I’m in a very sexual position but I thought that I could handle it at first, and I was wrong. I can feel his bulge pressing against me and it takes everything in me not to move so I can feel him inside of me. “Focus Renee.” I keep telling myself that inside my head. When I look at him, his eyes are shining in the candle light and he’s smiling at me. I smile back at him and blush a little because when he looks at me like that, I know that he truly loves me.
“Doll that felt so good.”
“I’m glad that you enjoyed yourself but I’m not done yet sweetheart.”
I start to massage his shoulders and work down his arms then I move to his hands massaging his fingers as well as the fronts and backs of both hands. Then I move to his chest running my hands over his chest and every inch of his abs. “Focus Renee.” After I finish there I move down to his pelvis and the tops of his thighs, then down to his calves and finish with his feet. I make sure to get his ankles, heels, arches, and toes. He moans contentedly throughout his massage making noises of relaxation and satisfaction. I’m glad he’s relaxed because I know that he’s been stressed and tired lately.
“Does it feel good baby?”
“Mmm yeah very good my sexy Queen.”
I smile and move back up his thighs and stop to lean over for the other oil that I took out. This one is a strawberry scented warming oil. I pour a little of the oil onto my hands then start to massage up and down his shaft and also his balls. I hear him moan a little louder and I smile at him. I’m actually quite surprised that he has managed to not touch me this entire time. I’ve seen his hands twitch like he wanted to a couple of times but he managed to keep control.
When I’m finished, I ask him if he’s relaxed and he tells me that he is and he feels good.
“Good, I’m glad.” I lean down and kiss his neck then whisper in his ear. “You can touch me now if you want.” Very swiftly he flips me over and kisses my neck while grinding against me. I moan as he kisses me feeling him pressed against me wishing he was inside of me for the second time tonight. He pins my hands above my head lightly biting my neck and leaving hickeys all over both sides. I’m glad it is cold outside so I can wear turtlenecks to hide the marks when I go to work. I moan louder as he keeps grinding against me.
“Baby I umm mmm that feels so good.” He pulls back and looks at me.
“You what? Say it!” Instantly I’m soaked and I know that he can feel it. He knows when he talks like that it turns me on. I love when he’s dominant.
“I want you. Now!”
“As you wish.” I see him raise up and put on a condom then climbs back onto me and rams into me hard and deep. I scream and wrap my legs around his waist. We begin to move together and it feels so amazing. I bite, suck, and kiss on his neck then move to his lips kissing him deeply, slipping my tongue inside. Our tongues dance together as we keep kissing and my hands roam all over his back. When he suddenly pulls out and looks at me I see a hint of something mischievous in his eyes right before he flips me onto my stomach and rams into me from behind. This is my favorite position and he knows how to get the most pleasure out of me. Once I get to my knees with my arms slightly bent at the elbows, he grabs my waist and rams into me over and over. I can feel him deep inside of me and he feels amazing as always. I try to move with him but he slaps my ass hard and tells me to keep still. That’s a little hard to do but I get what he means. Sometimes he likes to do all the work, mostly it is when he’s had a few drinks but tonight it’s like he has extra energy that he’s trying to burn off.
I’m moaning and screaming his name as he makes me come over and over again but he doesn’t stop. The louder I get the harder he pumps into me. I can feel another orgasm coming and I can feel him getting ready to come as well. He grabs my shoulders and pulls me closer holding my body tightly against him. I can feel him even deeper inside of me and my walls start to clench tighter as I get closer to coming. We’re both moaning and making noises of pleasure as I feel him get harder and my walls clench tighter. We both scream as we climax together and I collapse onto my stomach. He lays on top of me and we both breathe heavily, not moving. Once we finally catch our breath, he whispers my name and tells me that he loves me in my ear. I close my eyes and whisper that I love him too before he rolls off of me then takes off the condom and throws it into the trash can on the side of his night stand, then he pulls me closer to him wrapping his arms around me.
It didn’t take long before I fell asleep with a smile on my face. I spent a long time thinking he didn’t want me anymore when really he felt that I had pushed him away and he’s right. I couldn’t deal with life including him when I lost our child, but I think I’m getting better with each passing day. I’ve talked to my therapist about that and many other things that I realize I haven’t dealt with yet.