What Am I Doing?

As soon as I saw Sebastian knocking on the car window, my heart began to race and panic set in. I knew he must have seen Jason kissing me, and I dreaded the confrontation that was sure to follow. I sat frozen in my seat, praying that he hadn’t actually witnessed the intimate moment between us. I didn’t want to complicate things further, especially since we decided to tell Sebastian everything, I didn't want him to find out that way.

I slowly rolled down the window, trying to compose myself before facing him. His expression was unreadable as he peered inside the car, his eyes locking with mine. I forced a nervous smile, hoping to hide the guilt that must have been written all over my face. Before I could say anything, Sebastian spoke up, his voice filled with concern.

“Where are you guys from? It’s so late, Aria. Shouldn’t you be spending time with mom?” he asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. I took a deep breath, trying to come up with a plausible explanation for why I was alone with Jason at this hour.

“I... uh... I took a walk in the evening and ran into Jason outside. We decided to take a drive and talk about why he was moving out. I was just trying to convince him to stay with us,” I stammered, my voice trembling slightly. I prayed that Sebastian would believe my lie, knowing that Jason would not even back me up.

Sebastian regarded me for a moment, his gaze piercing through my flimsy excuse. I couldn’t tell if he bought my story or if he was merely biding his time before calling me out on my lie. Jason, on the other hand, seemed unfazed by the tense atmosphere in the car. He leaned back in his seat, a smug grin playing on his lips as he watched the drama unfold.

I could feel the weight of Sebastian’s scrutiny bearing down on me, and I squirmed in my seat, unable to meet his gaze. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, he nodded slowly, as if coming to a decision.

“Alright, well, just make sure you’re safe out there. It’s not wise to be walking around late at night,” he said, his tone stern but tinged with a hint of concern. I let out a shaky breath, relieved that he didn’t press the issue further.

“Thanks, Sebastian. We’ll head back in the house now,” I replied, eager to end the awkward encounter. He gave me a look before stepping away from the car, his parting words hanging in the air.


“okay, goodnight, I’ll see you guys in the morning, I’m tired” he said, his tone gentle but firm. I nodded in acknowledgment, feeling a pang of guilt for betraying his trust. I couldn’t shake the feeling that things would never be the same between us.


The tension between me and Sebastian lingered in the air, casting a shadow over our once close relationship. I told myself I was going to avoid being alone with him for the time being, fearing that he would bring up the incident with Jason and force me to confront my betrayal.


Even though he didn’t say anything I could see the disappointment and hurt lurking beneath the surface, and it broke my heart to know that I was the cause of his pain. I suspected that he saw us but didn’t want to embarrass me.

When Sebastian got inside the house, Jason and I got out of the car and followed him in. “Do you think he saw us kissing?” Jason asked with a sly smile on his face. I felt a pang of guilt and embarrassment wash over me as I looked at him. “I don’t know, but it doesn’t matter,” I replied curtly before walking past him and heading straight to my room.

I threw myself onto my bed and buried my face in the pillow. What was I thinking, kissing Jason like that in front of our home? I knew I shouldn’t have let my guard down, but I couldn’t help it. There was just something about Jason that drew me in, something that made me forget all the rules and boundaries I had set for myself.

I closed my eyes and tried to push away the thoughts racing through my mind. I was tired of feeling guilty all the time, tired of constantly analyzing every little decision I made. I just wanted to be free, to follow my heart without fear of judgment or consequences.


As I lay there lost in my thoughts, I heard a soft knock on my door. I sat up and saw Jason standing in the doorway, a look of concern on his face. He walked over to me and sat down on the edge of the bed.

“Hey, are you okay?” he asked gently, reaching out to touch my hand. I pulled away instinctively, unsure of how to respond.

“I’m fine,” I replied, but my voice wavered with uncertainty. Jason looked at me intently, his eyes searching mine for any sign of what I was feeling.


“Look, I know things are complicated right now, but I just want you to know that I care about you,” he said softly. I felt a flutter in my chest at his words, a mix of longing and fear swirling within me.

I looked into his eyes and saw the sincerity there, the genuine emotion he was trying to convey. I felt a rush of emotions flood through me, a confusing jumble of desire and doubt.


Before I could stop myself, I leaned in and kissed him again, this time with a fierce intensity that surprised us both. Jason responded eagerly, pulling me closer and deepening the kiss.

In that moment, all my worries and fears melted away, leaving only the warmth and passion of our connection. I knew it was wrong, I knew it was risky, but I couldn’t resist the pull of our attraction.

As we finally pulled apart, gasping for breath, Jason looked at me with a mix of tenderness and yearning. “I know this is complicated, but I want to be with you,” he whispered, his voice filled with raw emotion.

I felt my heart swell with emotion, my head spinning with the intensity of my feelings. I knew I was treading dangerous waters, risking everything.


After the kiss, I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks as I slowly came back to my senses. My heart was pounding in my chest, and I could hear the sound of blood rushing in my ears. It wasn’t just Sebastian who could catch us kissing this time; it was the whole family. I felt a wave of panic wash over me as I realized the gravity of the situation. I couldn’t believe I had let things go this far... Again.



I quickly pushed Jason away, my hands trembling as I tried to compose myself. “Please leave my room,” I managed to say, my voice barely above a whisper. “I need to sleep, I’m tired.”


He looked at me with a mixture of confusion and disappointment in his eyes, but he nodded and headed towards the door. I closed my eyes, trying to block out everything. I couldn’t believe I had let my emotions get the better of me.


As soon as Jason was gone, I collapsed onto my bed, feeling a wave of guilt wash over me. What am I doing?