Weakness

Giving the book another longing glance, she sat down at her table and pulled out her mathematics book. It was by far her worst subject, but she thought, if she wanted to impress a new governess, she should likely study it a bit more. Young women didn’t have to know nearly as much about calculations and sums as young men, but she’d be expected to know something about how numbers worked. She felt like such a failure every time she attempted to do a simple long division calculation. Whenever she began to court, she would make sure that all the young men she accepted invitations from could do their computations so that she wouldn’t have to.
“That does not look very exciting at all,” Kelly said from just behind her. Meg hadn’t heard her come in and startled a bit at the unfamiliar voice. “I’m sorry—I didn’t mean to frighten you.”
“Not at all,” Meg said. Being frightened was a weakness, and she had none of those. “I just… I was just looking over my maths.”
“I see,” Kelly replied. “I have never been too good at that subject, but I do know how to make change when I go to the market and calculate for a recipe. I suppose that’s good enough for my station.”
She smiled, a facial gesture Meg was not particularly used to, and she wasn’t sure if she should smile back or slowly retreat. “You seem awfully young to be looking after me,” she finally managed, a bit of defiance in her voice.
“That’s true,” Kelly agreed. “What are you now? Twelve?” Meg’s head bobbed up and down slowly, and Kelly continued. “I’m fifteen. Almost fifteen and a half if you want to do the math.” She winked and Meg couldn’t help but smile. “But I’ve been caring for younger children for the past four years, and my mother thought this might be a good opportunity for me. Your mother came by quite early this morning asking if my mother might be interested in returning to her former employment. Since she’d taken a job with another family a few years ago, she wasn’t willing to give it up, though she has said many times how much she misses you. She suggested me, and your mother negotiated a fairly small salary which I accepted despite that others may say it is unfair. It will give me the opportunity to strike out on my own and try my hand at something new.”
“What of the children you’ve been looking after?” Meg asked. Hearing that Patsy was no longer ill and that she had waited for re-employment from her mother that never came was both startling and infuriating so she decided not to dwell on that.
“It’s been mostly during the summer and nothing for more than a few weeks at a time,” Kelly explained. “This, I hope, will be more permanent. I hope that your mother and uncle take a liking to me.”
Meg shuddered at that last sentence. “My mother doesn’t like anyone, and if my uncle takes a liking to you, well, then, God bless you,” she said, leaning back in her chair and crossing her arms.
“What’s that then?” Kelly asked.
“Nothing. Never mind,” Meg said shrugging her shoulders. If she found she could truly trust Kelly, she might tell her at some point, but not right now, not today. The last time she had told her secret she’d paid dearly for it. Though, in retrospect, at least Ms. Strickland was gone.
Kelly’s green eyes were peering intently out the window. “Didn’t there used to be a boy as well? The caretaker’s son?”
“Ezra,” Meg offered. “Yes. He’s here sometimes. His father sends him off to school on days when he doesn’t need his help. Other times, he’s out back working or running around. He’s almost your age and still climbs trees and plays in the mud.” She said the last part as if the entire idea was completely childish.
“You do those things as well, don’t you?” Kelly asked with a coy smile.
Meg’s face reddened a bit. “I did. I don’t anymore. My mother says it is time for me to grow up and become a responsible young lady. So… that is what I intend to do. So that I may find a husband someday.”
Once again, that strange expression crossed through Kelly’s eyes. After a long pause, she said, “I see. Well, I shouldn’t keep you from your studies and your mother has asked me to help Tessa in the kitchen today until your uncle finds some new help to hire. What happened to the rest of the ladies?”
“I’m honestly not too sure,” Meg replied. “I think my mother decided their wages were too high and that if she could find younger workers, perhaps she could pay them less.”
“Oh, I shouldn’t think she’d be able to pay too little or else she will never find anyone to take the job,” Kelly muttered.
“It worked with you,” Meg reminded her.
Kelly’s lips pursed together. She opened her mouth and then closed it. Finally, she said, “Mine is a special case. Not many will be willing to take what I agreed to. Besides, your uncle owns the textile factory. Surely he can afford to pay a few ladies what they deserve to take care of the household.”
While she was tempted to blurt out what she knew about the money—or lack thereof—Meg said nothing. If she mentioned to Kelly that the factory was losing money, she might leave, and Meg was beginning to think that she and Kelly might actually turn out to be friends, a foreign concept but an enticing one nonetheless.
“Do finish your maths and then get on with your Latin and history, won’t you?” Kelly said as she stood.
“Yes, Ms….” Meg froze. “What shall I call you?”
“You shall call me Kelly, of course,” came the reply.
“Yes, Ms. Kelly,” Meg nodded.
“No, silly. Just Kelly will do. I’m not a governess. I’m hardly a miss!”
“All right then, Kelly,” Meg smiled.
“I will see you in a bit, Mary Margaret,” the redhead said as she started for the bedroom door.
“It’s Meg,” the younger girl called, turning in her chair.
“What’s that?” Kelly asked, turning to acknowledge her.
“Please, call me Meg. All of my friends call me that.”
Kelly smiled, her face brightening. “Very well. See you in a bit, Meg.”


Ghosts of Southampton: Titanic
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