Premonition
“Do you think he’ll send someone to fetch you?” Kelly asked as she and Meg made their way along the Boat Deck. Ruth was walking between them, carrying Dolly New Eyes, her father having returned to the cabin with Lizzy after lunch.
“I suppose so,” Meg replied. “Dinner starts at six, so I should probably head back down around three or so, just to be sure I’m there when I’m called on.”
Kelly nodded. “I’m sure Jonathan will get that job. He’s a bit… odd, don’t you think?”
Meg considered the statement for a moment. “Odd? How so? I hadn’t really noticed.”
Kelly glanced down at her daughter for a moment to see if she were listening before she continued. “I don’t know. He just seems like a bit of a confirmed bachelor to me, that’s all.”
“How’s that?” Meg asked, not sure she followed.
Kelly sighed, absently patting Ruth on the head. “Come on now, Meg. Don’t play daft. You know.” She continued in a harsh whisper. “A Mary-Jane.”
“Oh,” Meg said, finally catching on. “I don’t… think so. Why would you think that?”
“I don’t know,” Kelly shrugged. “Maybe not. Perhaps I shouldn’t have said anything. He just seems to treat Charlie a little bit like… he wishes…. It doesn’t matter.”
Meg’s eyebrows were furrowed. “Surely you aren’t implying that Charlie….”
“Oh, heavens no,” Kelly assured her, shooting her hand out to squeeze Meg’s arm. “Not at all. Forget it. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
“All right,” Meg said still wondering what Kelly’s concern was. “Well, if you’re afraid that Jonathan is leery of me, afraid I’m going to break Charlie’s heart, then I think you’re right. And so is he. Again. How can I keep breaking the same man’s heart over and over again?” Her voice had trailed off at the end, and she found herself choking back tears.
“About that,” Kelly said as they stepped past an older couple huddled together on a bench, “I was thinking, are you sure you have to tell him? What if no one recognizes you?”
“They will most certainly recognize me, Kelly. I’ve gone to several events with many of these people over the years—recent years—and unlike Charlie who hasn’t received an updated photograph of me since I was about twelve, they know precisely what I look like,” Meg assured her.
“All right. So let’s say they don’t notice. Maybe you don’t have to tell him, not yet. Wait until he gets to know you a little better and can see you for who you really are. Then, maybe once he finds out you’re actually already engaged, he’ll be happy.”
“Oh, Kelly, I wish it were that simple. But you need to realize—despite your biased position—it was the ‘real me’ that did all of these horrible things in the first place.” She watched Kelly’s eyes dart down to Ruth, as if to indicate Meg should be careful of her words. She understood and spoke carefully as she continued. “We would not be in this situation if I hadn’t l-i-e-d, and c-h-e-a-t-e-d. Remember that. He deserves to know the truth. I should have told him last night, but he refused to hear what I had to say. I’m sure, after tonight, there’s no way to avoid it.”
“I do wish it didn’t have to be so,” Kelly said, locking her arm with Meg’s. “You both seem so happy when you’re together.”
“I know,” Meg agreed, resting her head on Kelly’s shoulder. “Who would have thought my mother was right after all?”
“It wasn’t your mother,” Kelly reminded her. “This was your father’s idea.”
Meg leaned up in contemplation. “True, but all these years it’s been my mother and her greed that has pressed the issue.”
“Yes, but your father chose Charlie to take care of you. He knew he was a good man from a good family. That has nothing to do with your mother or her hopes of gainin’ financial security through your marriage.”
“Oh, God, Kelly,” Meg said, stopping and turning to face her friend. “I hadn’t thought about it that way. I mean, of course I knew my father had made the arrangements. But it never crossed my mind to attribute this lack of choice to my father and his wisdom. I always just thought of the whole thing as another of my mother’s schemes.” She ran her hand through her long blond tresses. “If I had been considering the entire situation from that perspective all along, perhaps we wouldn’t be in this situation now.”
Kelly clenched her friend’s hand. “In life, there are a lot of chances for regret and never enough opportunities for acceptance. That’s why I think you should take every chance to mend this, if you can, before you completely give up on Charlie. Don’t forget, Meg, I know you. Better than anyone. And despite what you think, you do deserve to be happy. And so does he. If you can salvage a life together out of this, do it. Life is too short to wonder what might have been.”
Meg pulled Kelly into her arms and squeezed her tightly. “Oh, Kelly, what would I ever do without you?”
“Don’t worry—you’ll never have to find out.” After another moment, she pulled back sharply and began looking around in earnest. “Where’s Ruth?”
Meg laughed. “She’s right there,” she said, pointing over at one of the lifeboats where Ruth was having a discussion with her doll.
“Jesus, Mary, and Joseph that girl is going to give me heart failure,” Kelly muttered as she crossed the few steps to where her daughter was playing.
“And then, we’ll get inside the little boat and sail to a new boat. And everything will be just fine,” she was explaining to Dolly New Eyes.
“What are you doin’ my wee lass?” Kelly asked, running her hand through Ruth’s hair.
“I didn’t run away,” Ruth assured her, looking up with wide eyes.
“No, I know you didn’t darlin’. Mummy could see you. I just panicked a bit, that’s all,” Kelly explained.
“I was just telling Dolly New Eyes she didn’t need to be scared when we get in the lifeboats, you see?” Ruth said matter-of-factly.
“Oh, sweetie, we won’t be gettin’ in the lifeboats. Those are just for emergencies,” her mother replied, dropping down to her knees.
“I know,” Ruth admitted, shaking her head. “I told Dolly not to worry, that I will always take care of her, and we’ll be safe. And Mummy, Daddy, Baby Lizzy, Aunt Meg, Uncle Charlie, and Mr. Jonaffin will be safe, too. We’ll all be together on the new boat.”
“You have quite the imagination, love,” Meg said patting her on the head. “This is the strongest boat they ever built. Nothing can sink it.”
“God can sink it,” Ruth reminded her, a hauntingly stern expression in her eyes as she reached out to take Meg’s hand. And then, just as quickly as it had come, the peculiar countenance passed, and with a smile, she asked, “Can we go see Daddy now? I want to check if his arm is better.”
Meg was still puzzling over the oddness of Ruth’s behavior so she said nothing. Rather, Kelly replied, “Yes, of course,” as she patted her daughter’s head. “Thank you for staying with Mummy and Aunty Meg today, Ruthy. You’ve been an extra good girl.”
“You’re welcome, Mummy,” Ruth said smiling innocently. “Dolly New Eyes was a good girl to stay with us, too,” she added.
“Yes, she was,” Kelly assured her as they made their way back below deck, giving no more consideration to Ruth’s fortuitous remarks.
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