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As Meg took her first few steps, overwhelming pain shot through her feet and up through her legs. She wondered if, perhaps, she didn’t have some frostbite. But with each step, the pain dulled, and soon she was able to make some semblance of a normal gait. Jonathan had offered his arm, and she could tell he was growing a bit impatient with her as she struggled to keep up, but as she grew stronger, her speed increased, and soon he began to tug on her less as they made their way through the throng of people.
“Do you want to speak to Kelly first? She’s just over there?” he asked gesturing across the crowd.
Meg could see her friend and her family off in the distance. Though Daniel was very pale, Ruth was dancing around her mother’s feet, and Baby Lizzy was cooing at her. She caught Kelly’s eyes and held them for a second, a small smile flashing between them. “No,” she replied. “Later.”
Jonathan seemed relieved and pressed on. “I’m not quite sure who to ask that might know something—anything—new. I’ve asked all those taking names, the people with the clipboards.”
“But no one ever asked my name,” she assured him. It was still possible to have boarded the Carpathia without being on the list.
“True, I couldn’t find you either. But there was a Meg West listed right after Daniel O’Connell, and I thought perhaps that was you.”
She smiled, realizing Daniel must have made up an alias for her. “Perhaps it is,” she replied. “If you’ve checked with all of these folks, then let’s try the hospital you spoke of.”
“Very well,” he consented. “I do believe they are being very careful not to disturb the patients, however. Rumor has it that a few of those in the worst shape have already expired since they were brought aboard.”
Jonathan asked a member of the Carpathia crew which way to the hospital, and while he was willing to give them directions, he said, “There are only a few male patients there and one female. Crowds of people looking for their lost loved ones are trying to get a glimpse of who might be inside, but the medical crew is being very protective of the patients.”
“We’re looking for Charles Ashton,” Meg explained. “Do you know him?”
“Know him? Of course, I know him. But, no, I haven’t seen him. Guggenheim. Astor. Straus. Hell, I’ve even been asked about Morgan. But I haven’t seen any of them,” the young man replied. “If you’re just looking for an autograph or a hand out…”
“I’m his fiancée.”
The boy bit his tongue. “Pardon, Miss Westmoreland. I didn’t recognize you.”
“It’s quite all right,” she assured him. “And whatever you do, don’t add my name to that list.”
“Yes, miss. I hope you find him.”
“Come along, Meg,” Jonathan said, pulling her in the direction he had indicated.
When they reached the hospital, they were able to confirm the boy’s description of pandemonium. The Carpathia crew was doing their best to calm the seas of people who were stopping by to see if missing loved ones had been taken to the hospital, but most of them were being turned away in tears. As they approached, Meg overheard a woman wearing a nurse’s hat saying, “I’m sorry, madam, but the only men inside the hospital are First and Second Class passengers or Titanic crew member. There are no members of Steerage in the hospital.”
The woman, who appeared to be Slovakian and possibly spoke little English was repeating herself, “My husband. Please.”
Meg’s heart was breaking for this woman and so many others who were desperately searching for their lost spouses and loved ones. She knew the hospital was the last hope for them—as it was for her—and the fear that she might soon be joining them in their misery was an ever-growing concern.
“Pardon me,” Jonathan was saying to a crew member who was still occupied with a woman begging him to “check one more time.” The older man looked relieved to at least have someone else to interact with. “We’re looking for Charles Ashton. I’m his valet. Do you happen to know if he’s in the hospital?”
“No,” the gentleman said curtly.
“No, he’s not, or no you don’t know?” Jonathan asked for clarification.
“No, I don’t know,” the man said a bit kindlier. “I know there are a few First Class passengers inside, but most of them are unconscious, or barely conscious, and we haven’t identified all of them.”
“Surely you must know what he looks like,” Jonathan pressed.
The man scoffed. “Well, if he’s in that room, he looks pale and blue.”
“That’s not funny,” Meg hissed. “Whoever those men are, their families are out here looking for them.”
The crewmen seemed to realize his folly. “I’m sorry,” he said solemnly. “That was uncalled for. I honestly don’t know what Mr. Ashton looks like, but I will go inside and see if anyone can identify him now that we know there’s a possibility he might be among the patients.”
“Thank you,” Meg said quietly.
The crewmen disappeared into the crowd. When he opened the door to the hospital to squeeze through, the throngs of people pressed forward, several of the women outside attempting to gain a peek. It seemed like ages before the door opened again. Meg was beginning to grow dizzy, and she was thankful for Jonathan’s arm around her. The wails of the women and children nearby were growing unbearable.
Even before the man reached them, he was shaking his head, an indicator that Charlie was not inside the hospital. “Sorry, sir, miss. He’s not in there.”
“Are you sure?” Meg asked, tears stinging her eyes.
“I’m sure. One of the nurses says she knows precisely what Mr. Ashton looks like. She even peeled open the sleeping patients’ eyes to check their color, just to double-check. That’s what took so long. He ain’t here. I apologize.”
“Is there anywhere else…” Meg began, not quite ready to give up hope yet.
“Miss…”
“I don’t think so,” the man replied. “As far as I know, the only intensive care patients are in the hospital. If he’s not in the lounge…”
“Miss…”
“…and he’s not in here, it’s likely…”
“MISS!”
“…he didn’t make it….
As he was completing his sentence, Meg felt a sharp tug on her shoulder, and she turned to see the woman who had helped her change her dress earlier in the day. The look on her face made Meg catch her breath.
“I found ‘im.”
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