Chapter 38: Reignite the Spark

“I miss you.”

My brain stuttered for a moment as every part of me went on pause while my thoughts struggled to catch up. Did I really just say that? I glanced at Ralph to see that his mouth was frozen wide open in an expression of stunned surprise.

My eyes widened in shock when realization finally settled in. My hand immediately flew to my mouth, making a loud slapping sound. I flinched as I felt a pang of pain on my face but I kept my hand there in an attempt to prevent myself from saying other stupid things. Panic started to consume me when I noticed that Arthur hadn't said anything back.

I could already imagine his face right now - it was probably one of awkwardness, not even hurrying to save my feelings, to fill the void with a non-committal statement of appreciation. The silence hung in the air like the suspended moment before a falling glass shatters on the ground.
I expected him to say something - anything for that matter - or hang up but he did none of those things. He just stayed silent. I couldn’t even hear any movement at all.

I moved my phone away from my face to check if he’s still there. My eyebrows furrowed in confusion when he still is. Ralph arched an eyebrow at me. “What’s happening?” He mouthed. I shrugged in response as I placed the phone next to my ear again.

“Hello?” Silence. The silence between us was so intense that I couldn’t even cut a knife through it. It was almost like poison to me, for in that void of sound the shallowness of our conversation was laid bare. What used to be a silly and flirtatious banter and comedic moments was utterly vapid. “Arthur?”

“Hello, sorry, what did you say again?” Arthur asked, his voice was laced with confusion. “I couldn’t hear you properly. The audio was really choppy.”

I pursed my lips into a thin line. Should I really say it again?

The hand that was on my mouth slowly fell from my face and onto my lap. “I miss you.” I said, more confidently this time. I looked at Ralph to see him flash me a thumbs up. I gave him a small smile. “And I just wanted to know how you are.”

“Sorry, it’s still really choppy.” He retorted, making me scowl at the phone. How could his signal be so terrible? I don’t think I’ll be able to say it again.

I let out a long sigh of exasperation. Maybe it’s a sign. It’s better that he didn’t hear what I said.
I hated how I gave in so easily, just after I said before that it would be better to just leave him alone.

“I’m sorry, butt dial.” I was about to hang up until I heard Arthur’s voice, making me stop mid-action.

“I was just kidding.” He let out a hearty laugh, making me frown in annoyance. Ralph tilted his head to the side in confusion.

“I’ll tell you later.” I mouthed. He nodded in response before he pulled out his phone to leave me and Arthur to talk.

“I miss you too, Sandra.” My heart leaped with joy as a smile crept to my lips. I couldn’t believe my ears. I couldn’t function properly as overwhelming happiness surged into my veins.

Thank god! I didn’t make a fool out of myself. Speaking of which, I wanted to get back at him for his little teasing earlier. I didn’t speak for a couple of seconds, stifling the laugh that wanted to come out of me. I waited for him to speak up but instead he just cleared his throat.

“I-I’m sorry, w-what was that again?” I tried to make it seem like the line was unstable. He roared with laughter at my lame attempt of getting back at him. It took him a while to compose himself. When he did, he spoke with a hint of playfulness in his voice.

“You want to get even?” He said teasingly. God! I missed him so much.

“Yes!” I deadpanned, making it seem like I was mad at him. He let out a soft chuckle.

“Well, how about a date at our usual coffee shop? I’ll let you get your revenge from there.” My eyes widened at his sudden invitation. Is that a date? The butterflies in my stomach were going wild at the thought of it being a date.

“Hmm...” I trailed off. Of course I wanted to go, I just wanted to poke fun at him for his little stunt earlier.

“Oh come on, Sandra. Can you even resist a date with a handsome guy like me?” He uttered arrogantly to which I laughed loudly. Oh he’s good. It felt like he could see right through my acts.

“Alright! Since you said it’s a date.” I replied smugly. I heard some shuffling of papers in the background. I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion as to what he might be doing. Maybe he’s still working.

“How about maybe an hour from now?” He said abruptly as the rustling of papers stopped. Nine is a good time since I’m almost done cleaning the diner. I let out a sigh of relief, happy to know that I still have time to retouch my makeup and mentally prepare myself.

“Sounds good.” I answered a bit too excitedly which made Arthur chuckle lightly. My face grew red realizing my actions as I hit my forehead with the palm of my hand. Maybe I sounded too eager to meet him. I should have sounded more neutral.

My thoughts were immediately cut off when he spoke.

“Sandra, I need to go now. I need to finish this quickly so I’ll arrive on time for our date.” He muttered as he sounded very preoccupied. I pursed my lips into a thin line as I slumped on my chair in defeat. Too bad we couldn’t talk on the phone longer.

“Oh okay, see you then. Bye!” I said cheerfully before he ended the call. I couldn’t help but smile to myself like a fool as I still felt high on happiness despite the call ending. I tapped Ralph’s shoulder to signify that I was already through with my phone call. He glanced up from his phone.

“It looks like it went well.” He voiced out cheekily as he closed his phone.

My hands immediately flew up to my face. Is my face red? “How come?” I asked him as I cupped my face.

“Your aura completely changed from earlier.” He pointed out, making my face heat up. Now I can definitely feel my face reddening from embarrassment.

“Well, you’re right! It went well.” I told him, recalling our conversation prior to this. I proceeded to tell him what we talked about. “So that’s everything.” I finished the story, feeling hopeful for our date.

“Well what are you waiting for? I’ll finish this up, you go home and prepare for your date.” He said as he pulled me up from my seat.

“Are you sure? I don’t want to burden you.” I asked him, unsure if this is a good idea. He already did so much for me.

“Yeah, of course.” He said cooly with a shrug. “If you’re uncomfortable, then maybe you can cover up for me next time I have a date.” He winked at me which made us both laugh.

“Okay, deal!” I nodded in agreement. I glanced at our wall clock, it’s only 7:30PM so I still have time to change into something more suitable for a date. I hurriedly went out and bid Ralph goodbye.

As I arrived home, I bolted quickly to my bedroom to look for a nice outfit. I decided to wear a navy blue blouse and pants. I only retouched my makeup so I can save more time. After being satisfied with myself, I hastily hurried out.

The ride to the cafe got me feeling anxious. My palms became sweaty as I thought about meeting him. I tried to clear my thoughts and calm myself. I can do this.

As I arrived at the cafe, I breathed in a large gush of air. I opened the door and saw his familiar figure seated near the counter. Our eyes met and he flashed me his handsome smile. I felt my legs wobble as I made my way to him.

“Hi.” I timidly greeted him as I sat down on the chair opposite him.

“How are you?” His smile never left his face from the moment we saw each other. I felt my heartbeat quicken its pace. If he’s going to keep this up, I might faint.

“I’m fine. How about you?” I tried to sound casual, hiding my nervousness. I hadn’t realized that from here on our conversation would drift to something deeper.

He started by first talking about how he felt the last day we saw each other. He admitted that he was hurt at first but eventually he understood why I had to do that. He mentioned that he buried himself in work in order to cope with his sadness. Hearing him tell me all of this made my heart ache. I could only look down at my hands as I felt guilty for what I did.

“I’m sorry.” I muttered. He reached out his hand to lift my face to look at him. He gave me a grateful smile.

“You know I waited for the time you’ll call me or even text me. When you released the video, I was so shocked. I thought to myself that it would have been great if I was at your side at that time to show my support but I know that you wanted to do this on your own so I just sent you that text message.” He voiced out.

“Thank you for understanding. I’m sorry it took me a while to reach out. I needed time for myself to fix the issues I had.” I reached out for his hand and gripped it tightly.

“I missed you so much.” He croaked out. His voice came out like a soft whisper. He inched his head towards me and leaned in for a kiss. In that moment when our lips made contact, our chemistry became an ever-bright flame.

People often talk about "mixed feelings" like it's an exception, but for me it has become the norm. I'm scared to try and scared not to - what I actually do depends on the balance between the two. There are days I feel so drained from trying to be more assertive that I fail in crucial moments to put my needs forward. I’m feeling the same thing now - I’m scared to try again with him and I’m scared not to. I knew that I shouldn’t be with him, but my desire for him manages to push back those thoughts and feelings at the back of my mind.

I kissed him passionately, letting him know how much I missed him. My hands moved its way up to his nape, pulling him closer to me. His kisses became more wanting. I feel lightheaded as I was so overwhelmed with the feel of his lips.

Arthur eventually pulled back, leaving me wanting more. I stared at him expectantly as I leaned closer in anticipation.

“Let’s get out of here.” He said as he stood up and reached for my hand. I followed him closely from behind as we held hands.

It seems like this isn’t over.