Back to Reality

This morning I woke up in my bed and I was glad to be home. I needed to get back to reality even if that means working with Jared again. I will say that I did miss that man while I was gone and rightfully so because we spent 8 years together.

Part of me still loved him but was I still in love with him was the bigger question. My experiences on vacation showed me that I had not lived life to the fullest. I liked my wild side, but with less alcohol.

Meeting Adrian and going through this trip was what I needed to kickstart my life. I had been coasting along and had given up on myself. I realized how strong I was and that I was wanted by men. A man like him wanted me and that counted for something.

I accepted that I wasn’t looking for love when I met him, so I plan to use that experience as a life lesson. The lesson being I can thoroughly enjoy sex with strangers blindfolded or I need to live a little more because I have been very sheltered. I haven’t figured that out yet.

A few women from the office live in my building, so when I went to the mailbox, I heard Jared had already started a new office romance. He did not waste any time and I am surprised by how fast gossip travels at work. It sucks that his secretary left him with the baby and ran off to who knows where.

Jenny had gone home to stay with her parents because we had been away too long for them not to miss her. There was nothing she could do to cheer me up, so I didn’t protest at her need to check in on her parents. I think that the reason she never moved out is that her parents are older, and she likes to make sure they are doing well, they had her in their 50s.

I decided to start a pot of coffee and finally unpack from my weekend away. I hadn’t thought too much of Adrian, but he does cross my mind now and then because I am still a little sore from our one night in the Red Room. I needed to decompress and the only way to do that was to turn on some trap music and shake my ass all over this apartment while cleaning.

I didn’t have to be at work until tomorrow, so I decided to soak in some “me” time. That consisted of rearranging the mid-century modern furniture to give me a refreshed feeling. I have never had a man in my apartment, but maybe it’s time to change that. Maybe I could even buy a few BDSM items, I enjoyed my time in that damn room.

After a few hours, I decided to head out to grab lunch at a local cafe before going to the grocery store to stock up for the week. It was raining, so I wore purple rain boots with my distressed shorts and a black classic band tee. I grabbed my umbrella and decided to walk there. I still hate being in a car when it is raining, and I don’t know if I will ever get over that.

It was a short walk to the cafe because everything is within proximity to my apartment. It was a quiet Sunday with a mid-day poem reading happening on the cafe stage. This was my favorite place to go because there was always some sort of live performance going on. It was a great way to meet new people and support the local artist within the community.

I found this place when I was writing about local current events at work. I have worked for a few departments at the magazine. Now that I am back and going to live more spontaneously, maybe I will ask for a department change. Something that would get me involved in the community.

I stopped by the counter and ordered a drink and food from Joshua then headed over to my favorite spot in the whole café. Sitting in the back corner in a wing-back chair I was able to see the whole room. It really was the best seat for people-watching. I noticed a lot of couples holding hands, sharing smiles, and whispering in each other’s ears about each performance.

They are so lucky; I would give anything to have a beautiful relationship with someone whom I could share my interest with. Jared never cared about my feelings or interest and Adrian was a weekend fling. I had only ever been with those two men, and it is about damn time to change that.

I had a funny thought, what if I dated the next guy to talk to me? Yeah, that’s stupid. My thoughts were interrupted by a rather handsome young man. The world was seemingly sending me a message.

“Hello, is someone sitting here?” He said pointing at the chair beside me.

“Oh no, I didn’t come with anyone. Feel free to take it.”, I smiled and nodded toward the chair, and sipped my caramel latte.

“My name is Cameron.” he looked at me with the most perfect smile I had ever seen.

“I am Leah. Do you come here often? I have never seen you before.”, I figured he wanted to talk since he skipped several open chairs to sit by me.

“I just moved in down the block. I am subletting apartment 311 in the Vanity Complex down the street.”, he said as he sipped some hot tea.

“Oh, small world, that is where I live. I am up on the 8th floor!”, I was a little too excited.

“No way. I heard about this cafe from the resident bulletin board. I figured I would give Live Poetry Sunday a chance. I really like to explore and see the community.”, he was speaking to my soul.

“I love the lives, but I really come here for the food. Joshua is the cook, and he always delivers a devilishly savory meal on Sundays. He changes the specials based on what ingredients he picks up at the local Saturday farmers market.”, he leaned towards me and actively listened to me ramble on and on.

“Oh, that sounds amazing, maybe you could show me around sometime?”, I was expecting him to slide that in there.

It was at that moment that a familiar feeling ran through my body, his burning gaze. I took a quick look around, but no one had entered the building since Cameron had sat down beside me.

And just as quick as it came on it had dissipated. Surely it was a freak occurrence. I hadn’t seen Adrian since before he left me all alone. I would never see him again either as he was a high-class traveler with no time for sensible encounters, asshole.

Pulled out of my own thoughts I hear Cameron, “Leah, you, okay?”.

“Oh yes, I got lost in my thoughts, but I would love to show you around.”, I quickly recovered.

“Would your partner mind that? I was a bit forward.”, he was so polite.

“Oh? Partner? Me, oh no I don’t have a partner. I am divorced.”, I tripped over my words now.

“A beautiful woman like you, single in this city. That is extraordinary.”, he complimented.

I replied with a bashful blush.

We sat and chatted for roughly three hours before I realized the time. I wanted to get to the Fresh Market before they closed which gave me one and a half hours to get there and shop. I didn’t leave before exchanging numbers with him and letting him know that I would see him around and show him around town when I had free time.

I cleared my tab with the cafe, grabbed my umbrella, and headed to get groceries and splurge on makeup. I was planning to start putting effort into myself.

It had stopped raining which allowed me to carry my bags home without getting wet. I didn’t consider that when I decided to shop. I would have rather walked home in the rain without an umbrella than ride in a car, especially one that someone else was driving.

Too many bad memories and one of the main reasons that I decided to live so close to everything I needed in the city.

The rest of the night went as usual as I prepared for work the next day dreading it already. I didn’t feel that burning gaze again, it must have been a fluke or a reminder that I was seeking someone like Cameron, not Jared or Adrian.

Cameron was really such a nice guy. He was not the typical guy I would go for, but with my track record, I should not oversee picking men. I was really excited to see him again and see if maybe he was into the same hobbies I am.

I would love to share that with someone, but my only concern is how long he would be in town since he is subletting. And his age, he looked very young… but so hot. Hello to my new reality.

“Snap out of it Leah, live a little!”, I whispered to myself.

I needed to be open to new experiences. Just because I am back to reality doesn't mean I can’t bring vacation back to the city. I just need to be open-minded.