Chapter 12

(**Sebastion’s POV**)

I feel my control slipping as my rage consumes me. Aries is pushing harder and harder to take control. I can’t let him have it, but the longer I struggle, the harder he pushes. How easy would it be to just let him have it? If Vicktor were here in this room, I would gladly let Aries loose on him. Instead, it is just Irina and I alone in my bedroom. The sounds of her sobs breaking what little control I have left.

**Let me out!** Aries growls.

**No!** I growl back at him.

“I know what you are thinking,” Irina whispers to me.

“What am I thinking?” I grit out between clinched teeth.

“That I am dirty. That I am the whore that Vicktor made me be,” Irina’s voice was barely audible, but I heard her like she was standing next to me rather than across the room.

Aries gave one last push, making something snap as he takes control. **You are not a whore! Don’t you ever say that again.** He growled at her.

As Irina gasped in shock, I took control again, shoving my mental block shut tight. I stood up from the chair, rushing to her so I could hold her in my arms. Irina stiffened at first, but relaxed after a moment. Aries is losing his shit, this constant battle for control has to stop. I will have a chat with him when I can calm Irina down. I stroke my hands up and down her bare back. I ignore the sparks that flare up at the contact with her skin.

“Whatever Vicktor did to you or had you do doesn’t make you dirty or a whore, Irina. It makes you a victim. You did what you had to do to survive,” I pull back to look down into her eyes. “You are not at fault for anything he made you do. Everything you did for that monster was done to protect your daughter.”

“If only you understood how dirty I feel, Sebastion,” Irina pulls away from me to pace the room.

I move to sit on the edge of my bed as she walks back and forth across the room. I can feel her emotion swirling through the mate bond, making me want to scoop her up and just hold her. I know that isn’t what she needs. It is more of what I need to do for myself. I resist the urge as I watch her, I will wait until she gets all the pent-up emotions out.

“I am dirty still, no matter what you say. I don’t think I will ever feel clean,” Irina says as she stops to look at me.

“I want to kill him for what he has done to you. I want his heart in my hands for all the pain he has put you through. All the innocent lives Vicktor has destroyed make me want to cause him tremendous agony before I rip his heart out.” I growl.

“That won’t end it. Vicktor is only one head of a larger group. With his death, one more will pop up in his place. There are so many more monsters than we will ever know.” Irina steps in front of me.

I look up into her eyes to see that they are crystal clear now. Her tears dry and the anger receded. She cupped my cheek with one hand with the other ran through my damp hair. “Last night was a mistake, not because we slept together, but because I used you to chase my nightmares away. I wanted our first time together to be when I was ready. I am sorry I used you like that.”

“If you recall, I didn’t resist. I knew I should have, but I didn’t. If anyone should apologize, it should be me, Irina.” I tell her as I lean into her touch.

“You undid me last night, Sebastion. This morning I had to face the fact that you are capable of bringing me to a place in my heart that only one other has ever touched before. I am not ready for that. I am not ready to say goodbye to Gustav yet, even though he has been gone for five years now.” She places her hand over her heart as she looked me in the eyes. “This is still his.”

That hurt more than I thought it would to hear her say. I am not stupid. I know she had a mate before. I know he died trying to save her and Zasha from Vicktor. It still fucking hurts to hear. Now is not my time, but one day I hope to share that space in her heart. Share not replace, because that is something I would never want to do to her. Gustav was her mate, the father of her child, and her love. I will respect him.

I nod my head, swallow back the pain, then stand up. “I should find you some clothes. We need to get to the office to keep up appearance. Even if Vicktor is going to France, you already told me he has you being watched.”

Irina nods her head, stepping back so I can walk past her. There is more I want to say, but I think now isn’t the time to press. I leave my room to go find my sister. This will be fun to explain. When I reach Arianna and Flynn’s rooms I knock softly. The door jerks open a moment later to reveal a furious Arianna. I am pulled into the room, the door is slammed behind me, then a growl of anger bubbles from my sister’s throat.

Well, fun isn’t quite how this is going to go.

“How the hell did she find us?” Arianna glares at me.

“She tracked my scent, the mate bond helped her,” I tell her.

“She spent the night too. Do you have any idea how much danger our pack is in now?” Arianna yelled at me. Her hands are balled into fists at her side as she stands in front of me.

“Yes, I do. I had Flint double the patrols and guards. His scouts are strategically placed all around the borders about five miles away. I am very aware of the shit storm that can come down on us by Irina being here,” I respond.

Arianna opened her mouth to argue further, but when my words sunk in, she closed her mouth.

“Now, I came here to burrow something for Irina to wear to the office today. Had I not burned all of Gia’s clothes, she could look through them, but I don’t think that would be a good idea. Do you have something Irina could burrow?” I ask.

“She is smaller than I am, but I can find her something in the storage room. Give me twenty minutes and I will bring them to your rooms,” Arianna tells me, then she points to the door for me to leave.

I can tell she will be pissed for a while so I leave her be. As I open the door to leave, she stops me with a question. “Was last night worth the danger our pack is in now?” She asks me.

“We were in danger the minute Vicktor put us in his sights. Irina being here or not doesn’t change that, Arianna, so stop blaming her. She just wants to free her daughter,” I turn to look at Arianna, “As a mother, I would think you would understand that.” I turn and leave the room.

When I get back to my wing of the house, I stop in my tracks outside my room, Jace is in there with Irina. I can hear his little voice asking her questions. He must have come in to find me for breakfast. I didn’t think he would be awake this early, so I didn’t check on him before I went to Arianna’s rooms.

“Did that hurt?” I hear him ask her.

“Only for a little, then it healed.” Irina replies to him. Her voice is gentle as she speaks to Jace.

I wasn’t planning on introducing them to each other soon. Now, it seems I have no choice. I push the slightly open door open further and step into the doorway. Irina is on the floor at the foot of my bed, she is dressed in one of my button-up shirts and a pair of sweats. Why the fuck is that so sexy on her? I shove the jolt of lust aside to focus on the scene in front of me.

Jace is on the floor next to Irina, sitting cross-legged, with a book and his stuffed wolf in his lap. He has his face is tilted up to hers with a look of wonder in his eyes. I sense no fear from him at all. What is it about Irina that has Jace at ease? Then I realize she is a mother who misses her child. Her first instinct would be to soothe him.

“Hey, Jace, you are up early this morning.” I say from the doorway.

“Daddy!” Jace squeals as he jumps up to run to me, dropping his book and wolf on the floor as he does.

I catch the look of pain cross Irina’s face as she watched him run to me. I will do everything I can to get her daughter back in her arms. I vow this here and now. I can’t stand having that look in her eyes. The broken, wounded, heart breaking look.

“Hey, Jace, will you go down and see what Flynn is making for breakfast? If you ask real nice, he may make you pancakes,” I ask him as he tackles my legs.

“Pancakes! Chocolate chip pancakes are my favorite. Will Uncle Flynn make me those?” Jace asks me.

I look down into his eye to see the excitement the idea brings him. “Only one way to find out, buddy.”

Jace looks back at Irina, “Will you be staying for breakfast?”

Irina nods her head as she stands up off the floor. Jace hugs my leg, then he races out of the room in his quest for pancakes. He is coming out of his shell more and more each day. My only worry now is how he will take to Irina. After this first meeting between them, I know he will badger me endlessly with questions. Who is she? Why was she in my room? Will she be back? Will she take him away?

Though from how he reacted to her now, I don’t think I will have to worry about the last question being asked. This relieved me, knowing that he didn’t panic and run screaming from her. Now to figure out how to tell him who she is to me, to us both.

“I hope you don’t mind that I helped myself to your clothes,” Irina said.

Her voice bringing me back to focus on her, reminding me again of how goddamn sexy she is wearing my clothes. I would love to see her in nothing but my button-up shirt. To run my hands up under the hem to touch her bare skin. Feel the heat of her as I caress the soft skin of her inner thigh. I hear her take in a breath as I just stare at her.

I know she can feel my emotions now, even though the bond is not complete, we strengthened it last night as we made love. Irina must get how aroused I am right now just staring at her. I close the link between us, take a deep breath, then nod my head. That seems to be the wisest response right now.

I am saved a moment later as Arianna clears her throat behind me. I turn to look at her to see she has a faint smile tugging at the corner of her lips. Fuck, how much of my emotions when through our link too? I will have to work on my mental barriers better after today. I look down at her outstretched hand to see a bundle of cloth and a pair of shoes. Oh, thank goodness, she has brought clothes for Irina to wear.

I take the clothes from her with a nod, not quite trusting my voice yet. Arianna laughs softly, then turns to leave me with Irina. I haven’t been this tongue tied in fucking years. Get a grip, I tell myself. Turning back to Irina, I walk into the room to hand her the clothes. I need to stop thinking with my dick for the rest of the day.

“I will wait for you in the hall,” I tell her.

I practically flee from the room so she can get dressed. This woman has me all tangled up in knots. How the fuck am I going to concentrate on work later, after having those images in my head? Gia had me pussy whipped and I refuse to go back down a similar path with Irina. I mentally kick myself for comparing the two of them.

**They are nothing alike** Aries growls at me.

**Shut up. I know that damn you.**

**Then pull your head out of your ass already and stop thinking of that slut.** Aries tells me.

I shut him back out as I hear the bedroom door open behind me. Well, fuck, here I thought Irina looked sexy in my clothes. She looks even sexier in the grey pencil skirt, black blouse with grey dots all over it, and those fucking high heels. Damn you Arianna, I will not get shit done today now. I lower my gaze to the floor, then turn to lead the way to the kitchen.

“Sebastion?” Irina’s voice is low and uneven, making me turn back to look at her.

“Yeah?” My voice is gruff and low, making it clear to her I am struggling for control.

“My heart may belong to Gustav, but my body is responding in ways that make me want more of you.” She whispers to me.

“Irina, please don’t tell me this right now. I am trying really hard to respect what you told me earlier. I don’t want to take things faster than you are ready for,” I say in a pained voice.

“I know. I can feel your struggles. You closed the link between us just now and I hate that you had to do it.” She walked to me with a look in her eyes that had me backing away.

Not in fear of what she will do, but in fear of what I want to do to her. Right here in the hallway. My back hits the wall, but she doesn’t stop until she pressed her body up against mine. I can smell her arousal and Goddess, I want to take her now. I look down at her as she leans up to place her lips over mine in a soft kiss. I hold back from wrapping her in my arms to take it further.

Irina steps back, licks her lips, then grabs my hand. “Meet me in the file room for lunch”

Goddess help me resist temptation.