Chapter 37

(**Irina’s POV**)

I woke up to the sound of Sebastion falling off the lounger. He jumps up quickly with a wild look in his eyes. There is dried blood smeared all over his face and body. That makes me frown and look down at my body. Blood is caked all over me. What did our wolves get into last night?

**We killed a deer, some rabbits, and then a few foxes.**

*Did you eat all of that?* The smorgasbord of their dinner explains why my stomach hurts.

**We ate some before we mated them the rest after we were done.**

They mated and ate a feast, fantastic. Anya ate more food last night than I normally do in a week. I frown at that thought. Before meeting Sebastion, Vicktor barely gave me enough money for food each week. I got used to skipping meals for days just to make the food last until he gave me more money. I have been eating regular meals since my collision with Sebastion.

The sound of water splashing makes me look over at the edge of the dock. It seems like Sebastion has decided a rinse in the lake is a good idea before we go back to the house. The memory of what we did in there last night makes me smile.

“I see that look,” his voice was still thick from sleep, but his eyes were alert and full of lust.

“A quick rinse and some morning fun sounds like a good way to start our day.”

Standing up off the lounger, I feel his eyes all over my body. Heat travels down to pool in my belly. I can feel the wetness from my core seeping down my thighs just from the way he is devouring my body with his eyes. Sauntering slowly to the edge of dock, I watch him watch me.

“You are a naughty temptress, Irina. Now, get in this water before I drag you in.”

“Say please.”

He pouted for a moment, then said please. I dive into the water, then we repeat last night’s water sports. I orgasm hard and scream his name at the end. As we are climbing out of the water, someone clears their throat to get our attention. I whipped my head towards the door and cringe when I see my Pavel standing in the doorway.

“How long have you been standing there?” Sebastion growls at Pavel, then grabs the blanket off the floor to cover my body.

“You want to know if I watched you fuck my sister? No, but I heard the end as I was walking up. You two were not exactly quiet.”

“Why are you here now, Pavel?” I take the blanket Sebastion hands me and wrap it around myself.

“Father was looking for you. When we couldn’t find you anywhere in that big ass house, Lenore suggested looking here. She warned me what I my find when I got here. There was no need since I heard it all as I walked closer.”

“What does Father want?”

“He wants to look for Oleg and Kat.”

I glance at Sebastion to see if he has calmed down. The way his jaw is clenched lets me know he hasn’t. Great. “Sebastion has already started looking.”

Pavel rolls his eyes at that statement. “Of course he has.”

“What is your problem, Pavel? This hostility you have towards Sebastion is getting tiresome. He has done nothing to fucking deserve it.”

“He isn’t Gustav!” Pavel screams at me.

“No, Gustav is dead. I know that, and there is nothing either of us can do to change it or bring him back. Sebastion doesn’t deserve to be slapped in the face with Gustav at every chance you get. He is painfully aware of how my first mate died. Are you?”

“No, but I buried him when you were nowhere to be found. I put him in the earth next to our mothers when you abandoned your family. I was there, NOT you. Now here you are fucking some other man like Gustav never existed.”

Anya howled in my mind, and the rage I felt from her was nothing compared to mine. After everything I told my family last night, here my brother is to prove my fears were right. He believes nothing that I told him. He sees me as a whore. The pain that lances through my heart at his words causes me to lash out at him.

“That is what I thought. You were jealous that I was his mate and not you. Your love for Gustav was anything but brotherly.”

I had always suspected my brother was in love with my mate, but there was never a reason to confront him about it, until now. The way he went pale and looked away proved I was right. Pity for my brother settle over me then vanished as he looked back at me with hate in his eyes. I just outed him as gay in front of Sebastion.

“You don’t hate Sebastion because he took Gustav’s place in my affections. You hate him because he is alive while Gustav is dead. I have a second chance at love, while you are still pining for a man that was never yours. How long were you in love with him? Since you were kids? Since he became mine? How long?”

Without answering me, Pavel turned around and left.

“I am going to go up and take a shower.” Sebastion tells me in a tone that makes me instantly alert.

“What’s wrong?”

“I want to shower, get dressed, and see my son. You need to deal with your brother and what just happened.”

“Was I too harsh?”

“I don’t know your brother, and at this rate, I don’t want to know your brother. However, you just laid him bare for a stranger to see. You exposed something that he obviously has been keeping a secret. I feel slightly bad for him, but not bad enough to forgive the way he treats me.”

“Will you make him leave Redwood?”

“No. Pavel is your family. I will give them all homes here for as long as they wish to stay.”

“Their own homes and not just rooms in the mansion like guests?”

“Yes. There are new homes being finished now. Redwood recently added new wolves from a decimated pack. I had homes built for them and a few more in case we have more additions. That was before I met you.”

I am not liking the bitter tone to his voice. It is like he has taken a step back from me emotionally after what I said to my brother. “Something is bothering you. What is it?”

“I am going to take a shower now. We can talk about it later.” Sebastion turns away from me and leaves the boathouse.

What the fuck is that about? I defended him against my brother and now he is angry at me?

**It was how you kept bringing up Gustav. You hurt Sebastion.**

*But the reason Pavel treats Sebastion like that is because of Gustav.*

**I know that and so does Sebastion, but how you talked about Gustav was like a slap in the face. The same way Pavel slapped him in the face with it.**

Well, fuck. I did exactly want I yelled at Pavel for doing. Great, now I have two men to apologize to. The confrontation with my brother will get nasty now that I know his genuine feelings. How long has he hated me for being mated to the man he loved? The realization that I loved the same man my brother did makes me feel a little sick inside.

Was Gustav aware of Pavel’s feelings for him? If so, did he ever act on it? Were they lovers behind my back?

**Will knowing the answers to those questions help the situation?**

*No, but I am going to ask them anyway. I want to know the truth.*

**You are on your own. I want no part in the ugliness that opening that box will reveal.**

With that said, Anya goes quiet, leaving me alone with my thoughts. With a heavy sigh, I find my clothes from yesterday and hurry to dress. I can hear my father already in my mind calling for me. Since I was a little girl, keeping my father waiting was something I could never do. For me, he hung the moon and made everything right in my world.

Being without his guidance all these years has made me miss him dearly. The way he would sit down with me and wait silently until I said what I needed to, or if I was in trouble, confess to what I did wrong. He would dry my tears when I cried, pat my back softly when I was scared, and give me that silent stare when I was mad. He always knew what to do, no matter what mood I was in.

I am nervous about how he will react to what I have to say now. Maybe it would better for all of us if I just keep Pavel’s secret.

(**Sebastion’s POV**)

Feeling like I am second rate compared to Gustav is a feeling that I don’t like at all. I knew this would be something that would happen from time to time as Irina and I get to know each other. Now that her family is here in my home, there seems to be no avoiding his ghost. I don’t want to ever have Irina feel like I am trying to replace him. That is the furthest thing from my mind.

Yet, what I want is for there to be room for me in her heart and mind. We seem to be doing a one step forward, two steps back kind of dance. Just when I feel like there is room in her heart for me, something happens that makes it feel like there never will be. The way she fought with Pavel over Gustav’s memory made it painfully obvious that she will need more time to get over him.

Reliving the past with her family last night was hard on her. Jumping right into sex with me was her way of feeling in the present. Did she think of him while I was inside her? Was she comparing what I do to her to what he used to do?

I halt in my tracks to throw up in a bush. The thought of her comparing the two of her men makes me physically ill.

**Haven’t you done that with her and Gia? Compare the two of them?**

I have done exactly that, but never sexually. Their personalities, appearances, and how they each interact with others. All in favor of Irina. One thing has been made clear to me today, and it is something that I am not sure Irina is ready to admit to herself. With the conviction in her voice and the way she went after Pavel over Gustav, she is still in love with him.

Since she is my mate, I will do everything I can to keep the promises I made to her. Finding Zasha and her siblings. I will do that for her to make her family whole again. After that, I will leave it up to her on whether she can make room in her heart for me.

**Hey, now what the fuck! Where does that leave me and Anya in all of this crap?**

*I will not stand in your way. You can have your mate and I will take a backseat to it all.*

**Like you forced me to while you were with Gia?**

With a sigh, all I can do is nod my head in response.

**That is complete bullshit, Sebastion. Tell her how you feel and make it work. We can both have what we want this time.**

*Nah, that doesn’t seem like it is in the cards for us.*

I close the link between us and make my way to the house. I can hear Jace’s squeals of laughter as I approach the courtyard. He is running around with a few of his friends. This is the most outgoing I have seen him since the kidnapping. My heart fills with happiness for my son’s recovery.

“Papa!!” He screams at me as he races over to me.

“Hey there, buddy. What is all this?”

“Gramma invited my friends for a party. We are gonna have cake!” His eyes light up with joy at the idea of cake.

“Are you having fun?”

“Yes, I am ready.”

“For what?”

“To be a big boy and not hold your hand when we are outside anymore.”

“What if I want to hold your hand?”

“I will if you ask me too.”

I laugh at his childlike honesty. “Alright, get back to your friends.”

I give him a pat on the back and send him off to play. Entering the house, I am greeted with the smell of my mother’s chocolate cake. She must have missed cooking while being away from home. Shaking my head, I make quick work of the stairs and head to my room. Showering is the first course of action. The next will be to find where my father is hiding.

There are things I want to get his advice on for Drakos Enterprises. I would also like to know how he feels about Irina’s family being found alive. Once I have showered and dressed, I make my way downstairs to seek my father out. The raised voices coming from the den make me pause at the base of the stairs.

I can hear Pavel and Alexei yelling at each other in what I can only assume is Russian. That is just fine with me. There is no way I am putting myself in the middle of that family drama. I have enough of my own to sort out when Arianna comes home. The void her absence has caused is getting deeper and deeper.

“Sebastion?”

I turn towards the living room at the sound of my mother’s voice. “Yeah, mom?”

“Come in here for a minute, I want to talk to you about accommodations for Irina’s family.”

“I have a plan for that, but sure let’s sit down so I can share it with you.”

The moment we sit down in the living room, there is a loud bang from the foyer that reminds me of the front door being pushed open and hitting the wall. Squeals of laughter followed by angry yelling lets me know that my sister and her daughter are home. Standing up, I walk to the living room doorway to greet Arianna.

As I do, Irina descends the stairs. When Arianna sees her, anger flares in her eyes. “What the hell is she still doing here and who is screaming in Russian? Did you bring more strays home, Sebastion?”

Well, I can tell already that the rest of the day is going to be an absolute delight.