Chapter 31

(**Sebastion’s POV**)

I spent the first thirty minutes of the car ride in silence as I continued to struggle for control of Aries. He enjoyed what happened with Irina and wanted out so he could continue where they left off. I refused him control of my body, so he is furious with me. In some ways I don’t blame him for wanting our mate like that, but he can’t just take control whenever he wants to.

When I finally firmly shut the link between us, I heave a sigh of relief. Glancing at Irina, I can tell she has been watching me. Her expression is a mixture of worry and laughter. The laughter puzzles me. Why would she find my battle of wills with my wolf funny? “What is so funny?”

“Do you always have to be in control of everything?”

“In the past, I rarely needed to be in control of Aries. He always let me have my way. With you, it is different. He wants you and your wolf just as much as I do.”

“Then why are you fighting him?” She angles herself in the passenger seat to face me fully.

I frown at her question as a thought occurs to me. “Did you enjoy what happened back there?”

“Surprisingly, yes. I have an idea I want to try, and another one that needs to happen first.”

“What? You actually enjoyed how forceful he was with you?”

“I don’t like pain Sebastion, but I enjoyed how he took control and got what he wanted. That was something I never really thought to explore before. Leaving our wolves in control of our human bodies. That idea is one I want to explore later when we have time alone. I also think it is time to let our wolves out fully to meet each other.” Irina reached out and lay her hand on my arm.

“I have been thinking the same thing about letting our wolves meet. We can do that later tonight after dinner,” I look at her then back at the road. “The second idea you have is intriguing. We can give that a shot another night, however. I think our wolves will take their sweet time tonight to get to know each other.”

**You bet your ass we will** Aries growls at me before I can slam the link between us closed again.

“Anya is going crazy in my head to be let out with her mate.”

“Aries is too. I think we should be prepared for a long night.”

Irina’s laughter echoes in the small interior of the car, and fuck me, it is a beautiful sound to hear. Glancing at her, I am in awe of how lucky I am to have her as my mate. She is beautiful, smart, kind, and continues to surprise me as I get to know her. As I look back to the road, a less tense silence settled over us. I know from the way she took her hand back that the silence is only her way of gathering her thoughts.

“How are we going to handle things when your sister comes back to Redwood?”

“Arianna needs time to cool down. Flynn will talk some sense into her before they come back. If not, my parents are staying until she returns. They have some things they want to say to her about her behavior.”

“You mother is an amazing woman.”

“She really is. Raising twins and my older brother was hard on her.” That is the first time I have mentioned to anyone outside the pack of my brother’s existence.

“You have an older brother?”

“Theo.” Saying his name out loud brings a wave a sadness to me.

“What happened to him?”

“The memories of that day are hazy because I was so young when it happened. Arianna and I had wandered too far in the woods outside pack borders. We were playing hide and seek, but we lost track of where we were. The rogues came out of nowhere.”

“How old where you?”

“Ari and I were six, Theo was sixteen.”

“What happened with the rogues?”

I swallow past the thick emotions clogging my throat. “They must have caught our scent when we crossed out of Redwood. All I remember is the fear I felt when I heard those growls. Arianna’s screams made me run as fast as I could to her. They had her up in a tree and were surrounding the tree. I used myself as bait to draw them away from her.”

“So brave.”

“It was the only thing I could think of to give her a chance to run for help. What I didn’t expect was to run straight into my brother. My heart was pounding in fear, but when I saw his eyes, I felt safe. My big brother was there to save me.” I had to stop as the memories were too hard to continue.

“You can tell me when you are ready, Sebastion. There is no rush.”

“He died trying to save us before the pack warriors could arrive. Had he not called for help when he knew we were in danger, Ari and I would have died too.”

I said nothing further but took the hand she offered me and held on tightly as I drove us onto the highway that would lead to Portland. I decided that was enough sharing today, and Irina must have agreed, so we spent the rest of the drive in silence. Each of us deep in thought as we got closer to town. I want to share the rest of the story with her, but the past has been buried so deep in my mind for so long. I am not sure I want to put what happened to Theo into words.

“Do you really think you can find my family?” Irina finally spoke up as we pulled into the parking lot of our destination.

“I have pulled all the strings I have to pull. Now all we can do is wait.”

“Having Natalia back is more than I ever thought was possible. When I thought that everyone I have ever loved was dead all these years, I had nothing but Zasha to continue on for. Now because of you, I have my sister back, and if our luck holds, I will have my daughter back.”

“In two weeks, we will have a lead on Zasha. I hope we find her while Vicktor is still in France.”

“Is it odd that I am nervous about meeting Rayne?”

I look over at her after I park the car. Undoing my seatbelt, I turn to face her further, “She is an incredible woman.”

“Part of me wants to be jealous of her, but I know she was never really in your heart. The two of you never gave the mate bond a chance because you didn’t want it to be forced on you. It was different for me and Gustav.”

Hearing the name of her dead mate made my heart constrict painfully. I want her to share his memory with me, but I hadn’t prepared myself for how it would hurt. “When I have talked to you in the past about my life and feelings for Gia, does that make you upset?”

“You mean does it pain me to hear how much you still love her, even if you don’t say the words? The way you talk about her says it all.”

Well, there you have it. The truth I have been trying to deny is out there. “Yes, I still love her, but loving her is not the same as being in love with her.”

“That is why it doesn’t hurt me when you talk about her. I know you will always love her. She was your first and only love until you saw who she truly was. Even though you killed her, I know a part of you died with her. I will always love Gustav, but like Gia, he is dead and never coming back. The two of us have each other now, and I am willing to make a go of it to see where it will lead us.”

“I am happy that you want this thing between us to work.”

“Does it hurt you when I mention Gustav?”

Do I tell her the truth or just say no? She has been nothing but honest with me since the first day we met. Not being honest with her now would be wrong. Irina must have sensed that I was not wanting to answer her question. She leaned forward in the gap of the seats, placed her hands on my face. Then she presses her lips softly against mine.

“It is ok, I understand. We have a chance to move on from the past. One day I will tell you about him like you have with Gia. I know that will hurt you to hear of our life together, but I do not want to withhold anything from you ever.”

That simple understanding was the last push I needed to fall over the edge. I am in love with this woman before me.