Chapter 15

(**Sebastion’s POV**)
**Mauture scene**

It surprised me when Irina had me sit in the chair next to the desk. My first thought was that she was going to follow through on her invitation from this morning for some work day fun. Then when she stepped behind me, my confusion grew, but the moment her hands kneaded my shoulders, I knew where her mind was at. I think she picked up on the tension surrounding me when I arrived.

Irina is doing her best to put me at ease. I can feel the tension melt from my muscles as she massages my neck and shoulders. I can’t stifle the moan of content that bubbles up my throat and past my lips. I immediately regret the moan when I feel her fingers still over my neck. Please don’t let her think I am aroused, not that I not thinking those thoughts, but I am more relaxed than aroused. Irina continues her ministrations a few moments later, but I catch the scent of her arousal, and holy fuck is it a heavenly scent.

As easy as it would be to stand up, place her on the desk, spend the afternoon between her thighs, it wouldn’t be the best course of action right now. With everything Arianna said, I have to admit that there are grounds for her suspicions. The entire situation is highly fucked up. If this were Arianna and Flynn, I would react the same way she is right now. I can’t stay upset with her for long for that, but finally learning how she sees me hurts me greatly.

My own twin sees me as a selfish bastard who only thinks with his dick. I have owned that in the recent months. My entire pack seeing me that way is one thing, but knowing Arianna sees me that was too, hurts more than anything I have experienced since Jace was taken from me. My sister, best friend, and confidant sees me as a weak-willed man.

“Hey, you are tensing up again. What are you thinking that is ruining all my hard work here?” Irina asks from behind me.

“Sorry, I can’t help myself,” I stood from the chair to move away from her hands. “What Arianna said to me this morning is effecting me more than I thought. How she compared you to Gia, hurt me too. I know you are nothing like her, but Arianna’s words are still bouncing around in my head.” I turn to face Irina as I spoke, moving one hand to my head as I spoke the last part.

“Tell me more about Gia, how you saw her, not how everyone else saw her.” Irina says as she sits in the chair I vacated.

“What do you want to know?” I ask her. I step away from her to walk to one of the steel columns in the room. I lean my back against it and slide to the floor.

“Tell me how you met her. I assume she was born into Redwood pack like you, but how did you guys first meet and become friends?” Irina asks me as she watches me from her chair.

I frown while I think back to the day Gia and I became friends. “I was in the pack’s only school at the time. I was ten. We were paired together for a science project. It wasn’t the first time I had talked to her, but it was the first time we had any meaningful conversation. Over the course of the next week for the project we spent every day after school together in the den at the mansion. We get to know each other during that week fairly well. When the project was finished, we remained friends,” I tell her as I remember the past.

“Do you think it was all fake, even from the beginning?” She asks me.

That very question is one I have asked myself before. “No, I don’t think so. I think back then it was genuine on both sides.”

“When do you think that changed for her?” Again, a question I have asked myself recently.

“If I am honest with myself, I think it was around the time my father started making me train for taking over as Alpha. Looking back, I can see the change in her now, but then I thought it was just the change in our relationship as we admitted having feelings for each other. That was before it ever got physical between us. I told her how I felt one day while we were studying by the lake after school. The smile she gave me made me think she felt the same, but when she leaned in to kiss me, I knew she did for sure.” I recalled that memory with a bitter smile.

“Here is how I see it, despite all of Gia’s flaws, she cared about you at one point. There was a genuine emotional connection between the two of you. I know it ended badly from what you have told me, but you know there was more to your relationship than what your sister has made it out as. Keep those memories for what they are, bittersweet, but real,” Irina tells me.

The sympathy in her eyes makes my throat constrict. Her words help more than she knows. “Thank you,” is all I can say.

“For what?” Irina asks me as she stands up to walk to me.

“For helping me work that out. I have only talked about the bad in Gia to anyone. No one has asked about any of the good in her. Believe me, there was some before the greed took her over,” I look up at Irina once she stands above me.

“There are always more sides of a person than anyone truly knows,” She sat down on the floor next to me. “We all have a darkness inside that we hide, some better than others. You loved her unconditionally. Because of that love you overlooked her flaws, her greed, and the conniving ways she made significant efforts to hide from you. Love has a way of doing that to people,” She says as she faces me once again.

“Are you really jealous of Rayne?” I ask her while her ice-blue eyes stare into mine.

“Not anymore. I admit I was jealous of the idea you are friends with her. I know you two never spent time together like that, but the feeling that took over me is new to me. I never once had a reason to be jealous of Gustav. We were each other’s firsts in everything, much how Gia was for you. When he died, a piece of me died with him, but I will always have a piece of him with me as long as Zasha lives.” Her eyes shimmered with tears for a moment, but she blinked them back.

“How are you so calm while asking me about the one woman I did love, but are jealous over the woman I never wanted as a mate?” I ask her, confused by her calmness.

Irina frowned at me when what I asked sank in, “I think some of it is knowing Gia is dead. There is no way she can interfere between us.”

“Like Gustav?” I ask. At her sharp inhale, I instantly regretted what I asked.

“You have a point. One I thought about on the way down here from your office,” Irina says. Then she takes me by surprise by moving over me to straddle my lap, bringing our faces close together.

“What are you doing, Irina?” I whisper as her blue eyes stare into mine with an unknown emotion swirling within their depths.

“I will always love Gustav, but he is gone from me. You are not. I want to let you in, but I know it will take time to build that love. You have already wormed your way inside, Sebastion. With how you love your son, your sister, and your pack. You have melted me by the simple way you have devoted yourself to helping me save my daughter.” She reaches down to grab my hand, brings it up to rest over her heart, “There is room in here for you, but I need the time to process that.”

“What are you telling me? That you are ready to give this mate bond a chance?”

“Despite everything else that we are dealing with, and all the shit your sister is putting on you now, I want this to be one less thing you stress about. Will it be easy? Hell no, it won’t be. What it will be is a minefield of emotions we will each need to face before we can get to where I know you want us to be. I am not sure if I can fully commit until I have my daughter safe by my side again, but I will take baby steps to try. Can you work with that?” Her eyes never wavered from mine as she spoke.

“I will go as slow as you need as long as you are honest with me like I have been with you” I tell her.

“One thing I need to make clear first. The sex,” She takes both my hands, places them on her hips, the fabric of her skirt bunched up high on her hips. Her legs bare under her skirt, “The sex between us is explosive. My body is more on board with the mate bond than my heart is at the moment. I will not deny what we both want there, and I know that sex isn’t love, but it is something we care share while we work our way to a deeper emotional connection.”

“I want you, Irina, but I can’t keep giving into my baser animal instinct when it comes to sex. I put sex above all else with Gia for a long time. I don’t want that with us,” I tell her. My hands running down her bare legs despite my words. The sparks ignited at the skin-on-skin contact, causing Irina to tremble over me.

“Trust me when I say this to you, there is more to us than sex, Sebastion. I promise you I am not using sex to control you like she did, like Vicktor wants me too, and how your sister thinks I am. I want you because of who you are, Sebastion, not because of your money and what you are doing to help me. Though that was one of the deciding factors in my decision to let you in,” Irina whispers the last part as emotion clogs her throat.

“I will do everything in my power to help bring her back to you, Irina. I would make that a promise, but I know that shit can go sideways before we know it, so I won’t do that. I will however call in everyone that can help us, even if that means I have to ask Rayne for help, I will do it. Can you handle that?” I ask her. My hand still running up and down her leg despite the heavy conversation.

“I know you don’t love her, logically I understand that, I will deal with the rest as we go.” Irina wiggles in my lap, causing my body to react to hers.

“Please don’t do that,” I groan as I feel myself harden beneath her.

“Do what?” She wiggles again, “This?” Her eyes are dilated with arousal now.

My hips buck up against her as she does this. She is making resisting her harder by the second. How long do I think I can hold out against the lust that is rising between us right now? I want there to be more to us than lust, but Irina is making it very hard to resist taking her right here on the floor.

**Stop denying yourself the woman who wants us for who we are** Aries growls at me.

My mind fogs as Irina grinds herself against me. Fuck it, why deny myself what she is offering me. I lift my hips, bucking her up, then rolling us over so she is on her back, following her to cover her body with mine. My hips between her open thighs as she wraps her legs around my waist. I bring my mouth down on hers as my hands pull her shirt out of the waistband of her skirt.

She moans into the kiss as my hands skim her bare stomach. The shudder that goes through her body as I slowly unbutton her shirt from the bottom up, my fingers caressing her skin with each slow movement upwards. Our mouths devouring each other as if we are the very air the other needs to survive. When I reach the last button of her shirt, I spread it open, bringing my hands up to cup her breasts.

I move my mouth to her throat to nibble my way to her collarbone. Irina grips my shoulders, her head leaned back to allow me greater access to her neck. Her hips rolling up to meet mine as I grind against her. There are too many clothes between us, making me growl in frustration, something I can tell she is feeling too. Irina reaches one hand between us to unbuckle my belt, I lift my hips enough to allow her the space to work on her task.

With my belt undone, Irina makes fast work of unzipping my pants, freeing my erection. She strokes up and down my shaft a few times slowly, then with more speed, making me groan and close my eyes as I bury my head in her neck. I reach up to wrap her arms around my neck, make sure her legs are tight around my waist, then sit up with her. I stand up after, moving to place her back against the steel column.

With one hand on her ass to hold her up, I use my free hand to slide her panties to the side, then I bury myself within her in one hard thrust up. The moan the rips from her throat encouraging me to go further. I fuck her hard and fast against the column, my face buried in her neck, breathing in her orange blossom scent as I do. One day I would love to smell our mingled scents after I make her, claiming her as mine to all others who smell her. For now, I will enjoy smelling her natural scent.

“Sebastion, oh please don’t stop,” Irina moans as I slow down.

I pause long enough to carry her over to the desk, laying her down gently before I continue to move within her. “I won’t,” I whisper in her ear as I lean down to bite her earlobe.

For the next hour, I make love to my mate. All else falls away as my mind is fully focused on the sounds of her moans, the feel of her body beneath mine, and the way my heart beats wildly each time she moans my name. My name from her lips makes me want to hear it for the rest of my life. No matter what happens tomorrow, I will remember this moment in time forever.

I can feel myself falling for her more and more, despite all the shadows gathering around us.