Chapter 43

(**Irina’s POV**)

The car ride into Portland was as frigid as a snowstorm coming off the mountains near where I grew up. I feel like I should wear layers of clothes rather than a simple black t-shirt and black jeans. Each time I tried to talk to Sebastion during the ride, he would shut me down with a glare. We are going to have to talk soon. There are things we both need to say to each other, or this gulf between us will stay.

I don’t want that and I can feel that he doesn’t either, despite his words, and his stone wall demeanor.

He is right about me being in mourning for the life I thought I lived with Gustav. I can’t help those feelings. All that time I thought we were happily in love was a lie. I know he loved me since I felt it through the bond. How much of that was from our childhood and how much was from the mate bond? I never had reason to question that until two weeks ago when Pavel confirmed my random thoughts.

During my pregnancy with Zasha, Gustav was a doting mate and father-to-be. He waited on me night and day. I got scolded when I tried to lift anything heavy. The week we moved out of my parent’s house and into our own should have alerted me to how things really were. Pavel disappeared the day Gustav told my parents we were moving out. Gustav was sullen and withdrawn for the first two days of the move.

I just thought they had a disagreement, and Pavel went out to the woods for a few days on his own. I never gave it much thought after that. Gustav turned into the mate I remember to this day. Kind, generous, attentive, and the love I felt from him was amazing in its purity. The day Zasha was born, he fell in love with her too. I don’t remember when it started exactly, but eventually he became distant again.

The night before the attack we had a fight. I still don’t really remember the details, but I remember the hurt I felt when he left our house with a slam of the door. The next morning everything in our life was destroyed. Knowing where he spent his last night on this earth breaks my heart. What surprises me the most is that I am not upset anymore that he wasn’t with me. I think part of me always knew he was torn between loving me and something else. Now I know it was someone else.

My brother.

“We are here,” Sebastion’s voice snaps me out of my thoughts.

I look up at the tall building that houses my apartment. The one Vicktor pays for and watches my every move in. Would he really hide Zasha here? “I am scared that she won’t be here.”

“Well, we won’t know that unless we get out of the car.”

A shadow moved at the corner of the building by the front doors. Looking closer, four dark shapes move towards us, separating as they get closer. Beckett, Nic, Ashir, and Ghost appeared out of the shadows. “You guys ready to do this?”

With a shaky breath, I open my door and join them. “Yes. How does this shroud thing work?”

Nic steps forward with her hand extended towards me. As she moves closer, her arm, then her entire body, was just gone. My eyes are having problems focusing on where she was just standing. It was like something was compelling me to look elsewhere, even though I saw where she was. Nic drops the shroud and my eyes can now look in her direction.

“Wow, that is amazing!” Sebastion’s voice is full of something other than anger for the first time since we left Redwood. Looking at him, I can see the childlike wonder in his eyes. When his eyes make contact with mine, he looks away. “Alright, let’s get this started, shall we?”

“Is there anywhere in the building that doesn’t have cameras?” Ghost asks.

“The lobby, elevator, the hallways, and as far as I know the only apartment that has cameras in it is mine.”

“To speed this up once we are on your floor we will spilt up. Nic will stay with you and Sebastion while the rest of us will search the apartment across the hall, the ones on either side of you, and the one directly above yours. Then we will come back to your apartment.” Beckett told us his plan.

“What if we search all those apartments first, then save mine for last? That way Nic can save her energy and hide us longer at the end?”

“That isn’t a bad idea, Beck.” Nic agrees with me.

“Alright, that is settled, let’s get inside.” Beckett turned away towards the apartment building.

Sebastion walks around the car to follow them. I grab his arm before he can pass me. “Will you stay by my side when we find her?”

“I told you I would help you and stick with you until we find her.”

“No, I am asking if you will stay with me when we do.”

“Yes, then we can go back to Redwood so you can have time with her until you decide what the next move is.” He didn’t give me time to respond but turned and walked swiftly towards the building, causing me have to jog to them to catch up. He will not make it easy on me.

Getting into the building made me feel like I was a spy in one of those cheesy old movies. My body felt like a live wire of nervous energy. The only thing that kept me from falling apart was Sebastion quietly slipping his hand into mine. At least he is keeping his promise. When we reach the floor above mine, I lead them to the apartment that is above mine.

Ashir picked the lock and soon we are inside. The apartment is an exact replica of mine. White walls, floors, ceiling, counters, and furniture. The only things that broke up all that white were the carpets, throw pillows on the couches, and the hardware on the cabinets. It is like a sterile environment with all that white. I hate it. I made no changes to my apartment because I am never there for long. That and is just doesn’t feel like a home.

The kitchen is separated from the living room by a small island counter and two stools. A hallway off to the right of the living room leads to a bathroom that is just as white as the rest of the apartment, and a bedroom that is more of the same. Frustration grows as we all go from room to room, knocking on walls to check for hidden compartments. I know this is all a long shot, but I can’t help but feel like there is something in this building for us to find.

It just isn’t in this apartment.

We move down to the next floor and both apartments on either side of mine were the same. A growl bubbles up in my throat as we exit the apartment across the hall from mine. Four down and one to go. With shaking hands, I reach towards the doorknob with my key. Sebastion’s hand reaches out and takes the keep from me. His fingers are gentle on my hand, then he moves it aside to unlock the door. Nic pulls the shroud up before he opens the door.

When Sebastion opens the door, I take a deep breath and follow him in. It is exactly the same as I left it. Spotless. I can tell from the lack of dust that the cleaning crew that Vicktor pays has been here recently. We repeat the process that we established in the other four apartments. When I enter my bedroom, everything looks the same as it did the last night I spent here.

As my eyes land on my dresser, I freeze. A black envelope with my name in red letters is propped up against the mirror. That is Vicktor’s handwriting. He was here before he went to France. That doesn’t surprise me at all. Walking to the dresser, I hesitate for a moment before grabbing the envelope. What could he have in here?

“What is that?” Sebastion’s voice startles me as he comes into the room.

I spin around to face him, “A note from Vicktor.”

“What does it say?”

“I haven’t opened it yet.”

He walks to the edge of my bed, sits down, then motions for me to sit next to him. With a small nod, I join him. A shuddery sigh leaves me as he wraps his arm around my shoulder. “Opening it is the only way to see what he wants from you now.”

I slip my nail into the flap of the envelope and open it. Pulling the contents out to reveal a single piece of paper and a small photo. I flip the picture over and a sob escapes my lips. It is a picture of Zasha holding her doll. Her eyes are looking away from the camera. “It is like what Hysin described.”

Tears stream down my face as I look at my little girl. She is all alone in that room. She has been without me for so long.

“What does the note say?”

Unfolding the note, I read what that sick bastard has to say to me.

*Irina,*
*If you are reading this, then you have figured out that Zasha is not in France with me. I was going to take her with me but decided at the last minute to leave her where she will be safe. Safe from her whore mother who does anything and everything I tell her to do. I mean everything. The way you spread your legs for my needs is top notch. Hope you are spreading them wide and often for Drakos. You have two months to get him in line. Use that amazing pussy of yours to make him drool. We both know how well you use it. I will be back as soon as I get France in order. Eric will keep his eyes on you while I am gone, so be a good little whore and do as you are told. Don’t try anything or your daughter will pay the price with her life.*
*Vicktor*

“That bastard!” Sebastion growls from next to me. He must have read it along with me.

“He doesn’t know that Eric is dead.” Was all I say.

“That can help us. Come, let’s go see if the others have found anything, then we can move to the penthouse.”

“Sebastion, she won’t be there. He wouldn’t take her to his home. It has to be the house. It is out of the way, no close neighbors, and there is no reason for anyone to go there. Only Eric, myself, and Vicktor know about it. He has a cleaning crew that cleans it once a month, but that is it.”

“What about his office?”

“She could be there, but I doubt it.”

“It is worth a look anyway. Let’s head there next and then the house. Cover all our bases.”

“Hey you two come to the kitchen, we found something.” Beckett calls out to us.

I hop to my feet and run to the kitchen. On the counter they have laid out a black velvet cloth with a bunch of small items on it. “Where did you find that?”

Ghost points to an open cupboard, in the back there was a small portion of the wall removed. Why had I never noticed it before? I stored my coffee cups in there. Every day I was in this apartment, I got into that cabinet. Looking back at the cloth, my eyes widen. The items on the cloth are things I had with me during the attack on my pack.

My mother’s necklace, the turquoise earrings Gustav gave me the day Zasha was born, and the blanket I had her wrapped in when Issac took her from me. Her rattle, stuffed bear, and little booties lay in the neat pile next to the rest. Tears stream down my face as my fingers run over the necklace. How did all of this stuff get here? There is no way Vicktor would have done this. He would have destroyed all of it. I thought he had.

“There is a note too.” Nic points to a small white envelope.

I rip it open in anticipation. “It is from Eric.” The surprise in my voice makes Sebastion walk to my side. He takes the note from me and reads it out loud.

*Irina*
*I know I am the last person you expect to hear from. When you were first brought in, Vicktor ordered me to destroy all of this stuff. I told him I did, but I couldn’t do it. I hid all of this in my room until a few days ago. I want to be free of this life he made us live. I hate him, but the blood lust keeps me doing what he wants. If you have a chance to get free of him, take it.*
*Here are your belongings that he stole from you. I can’t give you back your family because I don’t know where she is. I can tell you where the others are. His collection here in Portland. Look in his office for a secret door. That will help you set them free. Find your daughter, kill that sick bastard, and live your life.*
*Eric*

“He wanted to die, that was why he took you to Redwood that night.” Sebastion’s voice was hoarse as he spoke.

“Well, at least now we know where he keeps this half of his collection.” Beckett says.

“We need to go. My strength is waning and I can’t keep the shroud up much longer.” Nic tells us.

It was only then that I realized how long we have been in here. “Oh, Goddess, I am so sorry. Let’s get out of here we can plan our next move outside.”

I bundled up my stuff and followed Sebastion out into the hallway and locked the door behind be out of habit. By the time we reached the parking lot, my mind is spinning with what Eric told me. He was always cold and creepy when we interacted, but he had more to him than I ever knew. He saved my belongings in an act of defiance against Vicktor. I can never thank him for that.

“We have a few more hours until daylight, but I think we should wait until tomorrow night to search Treadstone’s office. Nic is weak and would need to feed again before we proceed.”

Beckett has a point. Even though I want to find my daughter tonight, I need their help to do it. Nodding in response, I walk to Sebastion’s car on numb legs. They gave out on me as I reached the passenger door, but I never hit the ground. Sebastion’s arms around my waist preventing me from falling.

“I got you, my love.”

He said something to Beckett before he opened my door. Then he lifted me into the car, closed my door, and walked around to get in. My mind circling around the words he spoke gently in my ear as he caught me.

My love. He called me his love. I pray to the Moon Goddess that he means it.