Chapter 19

"Oh my, what is he doing? He's so impatient. I'm going to have a hard time hiding this from Gerry and the others," I said as I quickly muted my cell phone.

Overwhelmed by the sudden call, I reflexively answered the call as I slipped while scrolling through my phone's screen.

Now there was no reason for me to avoid. I had already answered the call, I just stayed silent and listened to my voice as a caller, hoping that whoever did not hear an answer from me would immediately end the call.

"Hello, Zharies. Did you hear me?"

My heart skipped a beat when I heard that voice. I couldn't define what kind of feeling it was, but in fact, the feelings I felt now were so mixed.

There are feelings of nervousness, fear, and also intrigue, and I don't understand why there are feelings other than negativity arising in my heart. Could it be the remnants of feelings from the past that once grew in my heart towards Samuel?

I shook my head quickly to snap myself out of my reverie. From my cell phone, I could still hear Samuel's voice calling my name, trying to get an answer from me. But I wasn't brave enough to answer his call and just remained silent while listening to his voice.

I immediately dismissed the idea that I was having heart palpitations because it was an old feeling that was still in my heart. I convinced myself that the nervousness I felt earlier was due to the fear that I was making a mistake by talking to Samuel when I should have kept my distance from him.

But when I think about it, isn't this all contradictory to my goal, which is in line with my agreement with Gerry?

I should have been braver and even tried to be more aggressive in approaching Samuel, in accordance with my promise to Gerry, so that Gerry could more freely avoid Samuel, who was trying to emphasize this arranged marriage to Gerry.

If I became so timid, it would mean that I wasn't doing anything, and Gerry wouldn't get anything out of our agreement. If it came to that, he would definitely feel cheated and wronged by me, even though basically the main thing I had to do was become Gerry's fake lover to trick everyone into thinking wrongly about Gerry's sexual orientation.

"What do I do?" I asked, hunching over in frustration.

I arranged my phone with the screen still on, soon a message notification came in and it was definitely from Samuel.

I slowly picked up my cell phone and read the message carefully.

"I'm sorry I turned off the phone call earlier, I couldn't hear your voice, maybe there was some signal interference that interfered with your voice. Actually, I wanted to ask you how you are doing because it's been a long time since we talked.

When I read this message, I was actually quite touched. I guess your relationship with Samuel didn't end well either, because Samuel himself was so eager to find me again after we ended our relationship, doesn't that mean that there is still something unfinished between the two of us?

Still in a dilemma, I first tried to calm myself down so that I wouldn't make the wrong move in this matter.

Again, I didn't reply to Samuel's message, hoping that he would stop sending me messages, but also hoping that he would start sending me messages again. I was like a puppet controlled by two people, my heart and mind were completely at odds in this matter.

"I'm sorry, I can't hear your voice either. But sorry, why did you do that?"

No need to be sorry, and also no need to wonder, I felt only after pressing the send button on my Whatsupp application. As if without being controlled by my brain, I sent a reply message to Samuel, even though the content was quite rude.

Just as I was about to put my phone down and forget about it for a moment, I suddenly received another reply message from Samuel. It's likely that he was eagerly awaiting my reply.

"Sorry to bother you, but I really, really want to chat with you. Since our last meeting a few days ago, I have been deeply affected. After you suddenly disappeared from my life, you reappeared with something unexpected for me. Can we clear this up so that there is no more misunderstanding between us?

After reading this message, I felt sorry for Samuel. Doesn't this mean that I was the one who ended the relationship between the two of us? And the relationship between the two of us was indeed ended one-sidedly.

That makes sense, considering that I avoid romantic relationships because of my jinx. This jinx really bothered me, and probably because I didn't want Samuel to be a victim of my jinx, I reluctantly left him without explaining anything to him.

Come to think of it, no one would believe such a ridiculous thing. Even I, the owner of the curse, was skeptical about this mythical thing.

But the longer I try to avoid it, the more obvious it becomes. And if I continue to feel in denial, it will have a bad effect on the people I love.

"Zharies. I know you've read my messages before. Please give me your answer. Do you want to talk to me?"

If I were in Samuel's shoes right now, I probably wouldn't have bothered to contact the person who left me for dead. Unfortunately Samuel doesn't think realistically like me, could this be what they call blind in love?

"Stop contacting me, you idiot. I already have a lover."

This was my reply to Samuel via Whatsupp chat message. For a moment, I felt regret, because if I treated him harshly, then the plans I made according to my agreement with Gerry would be difficult to carry out, and even I would destroy my own plans. However, at a time like this it was very difficult for me to act, this night became a shackle that was difficult for me to release, so I couldn't do what I wanted freely.

"What do I care? Come back with me and let's continue our relationship that had lost its way. If I did something wrong in the past, forgive me. I'll do anything to make you forgive me and come back to me.

I stared at the screen of my phone with wide eyes, a small feeling began to fill my chest and made me feel even more uncomfortable.

A stinging and tightness that I couldn't explain took over my heart as if there was a very bad taste there. This is what happens when I try to be mean in front of people I feel sorry for.

"Are you crazy? You'd better drop it and forget our conversation just now. I'll give you a chance. But if you're still sober, don't blame me if I tell my lover."

Again, I want to respond to Samuel's message in a harsh way, I want to curse my fingers that cannot be compromised at times like this.

"Just do it, I don't care if I have to fight anyone. Gerry's engaged to my sister anyway, he's too cowardly to run away from what he's supposed to do, you should have thought of that."

Unfortunately, it turned out that Samuel was not seriously asking when he wanted to go, but he also had the same stubbornness as Gerry.