Chapter 24

"You're getting thinner," Samuel whispered. "I'm sure that as long as you've been alone and away from me your life hasn't been happy. We loved each other once and I'm sure we still love each other now, it's just that you were blinded by the wiles of Gerry that kept you away from me."

Samuel's hand moved down my body, he stroked the barker and then reached around my waist, I could feel his large palm tracing every part of my body gently as if he was stroking a silk cloth.

I sighed and I felt a different sensation, he mixed love and lust in every touch. Every now and then I close my eyes to feel all those touches, I'm just an ordinary human being and moreover I've been holding back the desire in my body for too long, touches like this are a very powerful lure to attract the desire that has been pent up inside me for so long.

"I know you want that but you always hide everything from everyone. What exactly made you become like this? What are you holding yourself back for when you can enjoy something that God has created for you?"

Damn, isn't that a contrasting sentence? It's true that lust and feelings of love were created by God for me, but God gave me other advantages that I can't call as advantages and he left them for me and that's what makes me unable to enjoy the love and lust that I have.

"Samuel, you will never understand because you don't have and feel what I feel," I said.

Samuel's hands reached the two rubbery mounds at the back of my body, he touched them slowly and moved his hands around, I didn't know what kind of rhythm he was using but within a few counts the village was squeezing it once and deliberately making it irregular.

My breathing quickened as my chest rose and fell.

"Baby, I will help you to release this desire."

Occasionally I moaned softly, sweat soaked my temples as well as my body, and what drove me crazy was that when this man before me was also sweating his body even gave off an intoxicating scent sensation, like the attraction of a werewolf in an adult novel, I could imagine it like that.

"No, I don't want to. I already have a lover and I don't want to destroy my dedication to him," I refused.

"Hm? A lover? You don't even love your lover," Samuel whispered.

Samuel went to my neck and kissed my neck a few times. I hurriedly swiped my head and blocked him from leaving a mark on my neck.

"Enough Samuel! You need to stop with your inappropriate behavior! You've crossed a line that you shouldn't have crossed. Even though I am a man and don't have anything to worry about like a virgin woman, I still respect my partner," I said defensively.

"Alright, I'll respect your decision," Samuel said.

Suddenly Samuel released his grip from my body, he looked at me deeply still with his eyes that were so sharp yet full of love in them. Those eyes were a little droopy perhaps the effect of the lust felt just now, I didn't want to glance down because even if I didn't glance that way I also already knew that there was something is erecting down there.

It's embarrassing and I don't want to be provoked, something sexual is very, very tempting.

"But I want something before I leave here. Please answer my questions honestly and no more evasions from you," Samuel pleaded.

Samuel held my shoulders and tried to get me to look at him properly. That shook the gutters of my body but kept him from hurting me.

"I want you to tell me, what was the reason you left me a few years ago?" Samuel asked.

Again this question, he never got tired of asking me this, like a broken record that always repeated its contents, but this was also my fault because I didn't tell Samuel everything straightforwardly.

"What's in it for you to know this? Even our relationship ended a few years ago. Don't you understand that I don't have any love for you anymore? I only love Gerry and that's something I really feel sincerely," I said.

"It's impossible!" Samuel exclaimed in disbelief.

You Samuel raised his hand and then he grabbed both my shoulders again. He really didn't accept it when I said that I didn't love him anymore.

"I'm sure it's all your alibi. Please tell me who made you become like this? It can't be that no one pushed you so hard that you were so adamant about leaving me," Samuel said.

I shook my head slowly and sighed uneasily. "Do I have to tell you over and over again for you to understand and accept the fact that I don't love you?"

"No! You love me!"

"You're crazy! Can you stop insisting on your selfish head?!"

"Yes! I'm selfish! Selfish because I know that I'm right---"

"You can't keep forcing other people to stay by your side because those other people might have a reason to save your life when they do that...."

It was only when I was at the end of my words that I realized that I had slipped up. My voice turned quiet at the end, and I began to regret the words I had spoken.

All of this was accompanied by Samuel's face changing, he seemed to be transfixed and waiting for the continuation of my words.

Samuel brought his face closer to me and tilted his head, trying to find the direction of my gaze and trying to look into my eyes, but once again I avoided his gaze so that I would not be affected.

"Tell me again, because what...."

"No! You don't understand," I said evasively.

"I understand everything, but I just need details. Saving my life? What do you mean? That means you left me out of compulsion, right?"

"Can you stop thinking it's all the same as you think it is? I just misspoke because I got carried away with my emotions," I said once again evasively.

"It's impossible for things that don't suit your mind to just come out when you're angry. In fact, the truest words from a person are when they are releasing their emotions," Samuel said cornering me.

Now I couldn't dodge anymore because he had said all the right words. There was no room for me to evade and refute his words.

Samuel's hands then grabbed both of mine, let me hold them gently and he rubbed the backs of my hands with his fingers, a simple touch but one that could melt someone's fragile heart.

"I know you left me because of compulsion, who has threatened you? I won't be afraid to fight him as long as you tell me what caused it all," Samuel said trying to persuade me once again.

I slowly lowered my head as I shook my head. My eyes were closed tightly trying to avoid everything and drown in my thoughts. Meanwhile Samuel remained in front of me in the same position waiting for an answer from my mouth.