Chapter 23

I yelled and said harsh words to Gerry, I didn't care if he got angry and even thought about kicking me out of his house right now.

In fact, if he did that, it would be better in my opinion. It didn't matter if I had to lose what he had given me now, this friend was better than having to see the fear I had been so worried about actually happen to Gerry.

After hearing my answer, Gerry banged on the door of the room, I don't know if he was angry or if he was worried about me as I was free to slowly make him angry with me.

It meant that he and I would be more awkward when we had business together, but it was better. Then we could both focus more on carrying out our plans for the common good without our personal feelings getting in the way.

I curled up in a ball and remained silent, still not wanting to come out of the room and meet the two of them. I even thought about making Gerry even more angry and annoyed with me, with the goal that he would dislike me and the jinx I had would be inactive.

Suddenly my cell phone rang at an inopportune moment. Don't be lazy, I picked up my phone and checked who had just sent a message.

"Huh? Sam? At a time like this?"

I read Samuel's message again and saw that it was an invitation to meet.

Just the two of us, no one else.

At first I felt lazy about the invitation and had no intention of going to see him. But then I thought, wouldn't it be a good idea to create a contradiction between me and Gerry?

If I can use this method and use Samuel, then I can get away from Gerry and make Gerry not fall victim to my jinx.

It sounds bad that I used Samuel as a way to free Gerry from my jinx. Samuel could have been an expensive victim of my jinx, but I made sure it was all safe because I didn't like him anymore and I had no love feelings for him.

Just so you know, my jinx only works on the man I love.

Wait, doesn't that mean I'm actually ....?

No, this is embarrassing. When did I fall in love with that annoying guy? What would make me fall in love with him?

Money? No, I admire a man who has a lot of money, but it won't foster love in my heart, just a feeling of excitement about his money.

A muscular, beautiful and sexy body? Actually, it's a good thing for attraction, especially since I'm a promiscuous gay man, but if that's all there is to it, doesn't that fall under the category of lust? Love is not lust.

A pretty face? That's not the same as lusting after it, and that's not the definition of love.

I also don't understand when people ask me about my feelings for Gerry. If asked, I would probably just say that I don't know. Even now I wonder why I've become so complicated and dilemmatic.

Is it just pity or is it really falling in love?

But I really wanted to fall in love with someone without thinking of the risks involved. I can't live my whole life not loving someone and losing them all the time, it's a very painful life.

"Can you meet me this afternoon? I'll pick you up."

The message was still there and I hadn't answered it. Samuel must be waiting for me to respond, but I don't know how to respond.

I also thought that if I were to sneak out of the mansion, even if I were to travel alone, it would not be allowed to protect me from people who have bad intentions toward me.

Come on, my life is getting more complicated every day.

"I can't."

I only briefly replied to Samuel. This is the reality I'm living in right now, and I can't just go see him. Actually, I want to see him too, to appreciate his efforts to contact me, but if I'm locked up here and not allowed to go out, how can I see him?

"Can't? Even though I'm near you."

I lifted my head and looked around with a wary eye. What was the meaning of this man's reply? I got goosebumps as I thought of the various possibilities that could have happened after he said that.

"Hey, over here."

And sure enough, something I had imagined actually happened. A man was standing in front of my balcony, lounging on my balcony divider while staring in the door.

It just so happened that my room had a balcony, and the balcony door was a glass door, so it was easy for me to see who was standing out there.

"This guy is totally crazy," I monologued.

I got out of bed and hurried to the balcony door, opening it slowly.

"You better stop before someone finds out you're here. I don't want you making trouble here and causing a fight between you and Gerry. I'll keep this a secret---"

My eyes rounded and it felt as if the tension in my body suddenly disappeared. I, who was so determined to get Samuel out of here, suddenly felt reluctant and could only remain silent as I lay in his arms.

Samuel seemed to be releasing his longing through this embrace, so warm and gentle that he didn't even try to apply his embrace, but it still felt enveloping.

"Samuel, we can't be like this."

"We can, we can."

I had not always pushed Samuel's body away from me. But his hands bound my body tightly, like a chain that couldn't be kept away from me.

"Samuel."

"I've been looking for you for years, but I could never find you. Where did you go? Why did you leave me so suddenly? We were at the height of our romance. Even before you left, I had planned to get engaged and had bought you a ring."

Samuel reached into his pocket and took out a box. He opened the box and there was a beautiful diamond ring.

I was just mesmerized and gaped when I saw the beautiful ring. I'm sure the price was fantastic too, but that wasn't the main point, the feeling of love that flowed from the ring was very visible when she showed me the ring and looked at me again lovingly.

"Samuel, can you stop with this?" I asked.

I'm evil and I admit it. But honestly I can't accept him, my life is all wrong, I can't accept the person I don't love, yet I can't accept the person I do love either.

"Please tell me what I did wrong to make you go this far away from me? I'll pay for it at any cost, but please come back to me," Samuel said.

I could hear the sound of Samuel's breathing which was really close to my ear. The masculine scent of his body was intoxicating, the data fields and muscular shoulders, the tattoos on his neck made him look even sexier, everything on his body had no flaws whatsoever.

Why are perfect people like Samuel and Gerry flocking to love this flawed me?

"I can't say," I replied while avoiding him.

Even though my brain is always telling me to accept Samuel with the lure that I can be separated from Gerry, my body always reflexes to stay away from him and forbid him to come close to me.

It's driving me crazy, I'm so crazy right now.

"You're getting thinner," Samuel whispered. "I'm sure as long as you've been alone and away from me your life hasn't been happy. We loved each other once and I'm sure we still love each other now, it's just that you were blinded by Gerry's trickery that kept you away from me."