Chapter 107
When he came back into the room, Rain realized she’d dozed off for a few moments. Adam had turned the lights off and was climbing into bed on the other side, and she hadn’t even heard him come out of the bathroom.
“Sorry,” he said quietly. “Didn’t mean to wake you.”
“No, it’s fine,” she assured him. “I was only half asleep.” Was that true? She really didn’t know how long she’d been asleep or how deeply, only that she’d lost a few minutes of time.
Next to them, Mist and Walt were being so loud, it seemed like it would be impossible for anyone to sleep. But then, Rain was used to that by now. Adam chuckled slightly but didn’t say anything about them. “It’s nice to be in a bed,” he said.
“I bet it is.” While she had spent the night before in the truck, she’d been in the hotel room not long before that.
“It’s still weird to be in a bed where I can look out and not have to worry about breathing in chemicals,” he said, turning on his side to see her. Enough light filtered through the part in the curtains that she could see him. It was a big bed, and there was plenty of space between them, which she wasn’t particularly excited about.
“How are your bruises?” she asked quietly, hoping not to bring up something he didn’t want to talk about but also genuinely concerned. When she’d seen the large bruises on his backside from day after day of shots designed to make sure he was able to perform as an inseminator in the Insemination Ward, she’d been appalled at how painful they looked.
“Better,” he said, giving her a reassuring smile. “Before too much longer, they’ll fade away completely.”
It was too bad the memories of what he’d gone through wouldn’t fade away so quickly.
Adam reached over and ran his hand across her cheek, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. The feel of his touch was comforting. She caught his wrist in her palm and both of them scooted closer to one another.
She had no idea when he might be ready to replace the memories of the forced interactions they’d had in Michaelanburg with something real, something they both chose, but when Adam’s lips found hers, she thought maybe it would be sooner than she’d imagined. He kissed her even more intensely than he had while they were waiting on the truck repairs, his hand cupping the side of her face. Rain closed the distance between them, gently placing her hands on his chest. Thoughts of that book cover came to mind, the one that Mist had found in the cellar. She remembered being confused about how a woman could want a man to touch her the way that man was touching that woman. No confusion clouded her mind when Adam rested his forehead against hers and in a gruff whisper said, “I want to touch you, Rain.”
She wanted him to touch her. Wherever, however he wanted to touch her, that’s how she wanted to be touched. Rather than tell him in words, Rain pressed her lips to his, and Adam understood that she wanted to be touched, that she was ready to move past the facade the Motherhood had built around what the physical act of love was meant to be and explore what bodies were meant to do together.
As Adam’s hands danced across her flesh, his body moving with hers, enveloping hers, his mouth on her mouth, each touch, each caress bringing her to life in ways Rain had never imagined possible, she closed her eyes and let him become her world, washing away all of the nightmares from before she’d understood her place in the world. No shadow of a doubt filled her mind, as the two of them came together, that she was meant to be with Adam, that he was everything she’d been missing from herself in the lies that the Mothers had been telling all of them since they were taken from glastic incubators at nine months past conception.
They moved together as one, barely a whisper between them, knowing and understanding one another’s needs and desires. As the lies and misconceptions faded away, Rain finally understood why it was sometimes called making love. She’d never felt closer to another person in her entire life than she felt to Adam. Opening her eyes a sliver, she saw that he felt the same way as he moved on top of her, Rain’s legs wrapped tightly around his hips.
When they’d both finished, and she found herself nestled against his chest, there was no sense of duty performed or a task checked off of a list as there had been from her scheduled trips to IW. There was only the satisfaction of knowing they’d found solace in each other’s arms and met each other’s needs.
Adam was still breathing heavily, his heart pounding beneath her ear as Rain wrapped her arm around his chest. He ran his fingers through her hair and kissed the top of her head.
She kissed his muscle that had been beneath her cheek, the barrier between herself and his heart. “Are you all right?” she whispered.
“I’m… perfect,” he replied quietly. “That was… definitely not what I’m used to.”
She bit back a laugh. “Me neither,” she agreed. Having his hands on her, giving him the freedom to move and help set the rhythm, even allowing him to be on top where he could have more control, had made a huge difference for her. Just knowing he was free to do as he pleased--which included stopping at any time--was enough to bring a smile to her face.
“I love you, Rain,” he said in a groggy voice.
“I love you, too, Adam.” His arms were still around her, and they would fall asleep together without anyone dictating what they could or could not do. For a few moments, the world truly was perfect.
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