Chapter 86
Not understanding, Rain said, “That’s sad, Seth. Did you used to love her?”
He half shrugged. “It doesn’t matter now, Rain.”
“Why? What happened?”
Shaking his head, he scooted back a little. “I’d really rather not talk about it.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I guess… she just wasn’t quite what you were looking for?”
“Not even a little bit.” That phrase came out as a snarl of sorts, and it caused Rain to look at him pointedly for a beat or two before Seth elaborated. “She slept with one of my good friends.”
“Oh.” Rain had no idea what to say to that. Even though the concept of choosing someone to have intercourse with because you had feelings for them, that it was a mutual decision, one both parties partook in equally, was foreign to her in many ways, she did understand how hurtful it would be to discover that someone who had Seth’s trust had gone behind his back to have relations with another man. Clearly, outside of Michaelanburg, relationships were meant to be between two people, and any decision for one of the parties to engage in the same activity with someone else was against the rules of common society, as well as grounds for ending that relationship.
She thought back to that moment on the dance floor and then again in the alley when she’d had the feeling that Seth wanted to kiss her. Would it have been okay if he had? It wasn’t as if she and Adam were in a relationship, after all. She didn’t even know for sure if Adam still had feelings for her. It wasn’t as if she’d given him reason to believe she felt the same way about him. By the time he came back, he might have rethought the entire situation.
That didn’t make it so that Rain was any less interested in kissing, Seth, though. Despite her feelings for Adam, seeing him sitting there on the sofa, a remorseful look on his face, she wanted to slide over and put her hand on his knee, let him know that she appreciated what he was doing for her, for them, and tell him she thought he was a remarkable person.
Instead, she sat on her end of the couch, her eyes glued on the rim of her tea glass, waiting for him to say something else.
“Anyway, I think Mist probably needs one more day to recover. Then, we should be able to move her. I have a camper on the back of the truck. The weather should be nice enough, we can put plenty of blankets back there for her to lay on. It’ll take a few days to get to Louis City, assuming we don’t run into any Mothers. My understanding is that they are still searching the mountain but haven’t figured out that we are inside of it. Without the tracker, it’ll be nearly impossible for them to find us when we come out. We’ll use a different opening than the one Adam used, one that’s further north, so even if they’re tracing his tracks, they won’t pinpoint us that way either.”
Rain nodded. “It sounds like you’ve got it all sorted out then.” She smiled, confident in his ability to plan for them. “Are you sure, though, that you want to do this?”
“What do you mean?” Seth raised an eyebrow. “Take you to meet Adam? Yeah, of course I do.”
Readjusting on the sofa, she tucked one leg under the other, careful to keep her shoe off of the cushion. “I just spoke to your mom. She’s worried.”
Before she could elaborate, Seth let out a deep sigh and dragged his hands down his face. “Oh. That.”
“I don’t mean to be nosy,” she continued as he shook his head and his shoulders sank. “I just… want to make sure you know, as much as we appreciate what you’re doing, what you’ve already done, we don’t want to be a burden to you or a strain on your family.”
“It’s not like that. At all, Rain. Trust me. That’s just my mom trying to be… a mom. I know you don’t understand what that means, not really, and I’m not sure I can explain it to you. But basically, Esther doesn’t want me to leave. Ever. She wants me to be her little boy for the rest of my life. And I just can’t do it anymore.” He continued to shake his head for a few more seconds before he looked away, his eyes focusing on a spot on the wall near where the door would cover the faded floral wallpaper, if it were closed.
Rain didn’t completely understand. How could she? But she got the gist of it. “You want to leave, to go out into the world and make a life for yourself, and she wants things to stay the same.”
“Yes.” He didn’t look at her, but his voice had softened slightly with her explanation.
“You feel like, as long as you stay here, you’ll never be treated like an adult. Not even if you have your own home someday. Maybe even a wife and kids.”
He turned to look at her, his lips a thin line as he nodded that she was right.
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