Chapter 81

It wasn’t guilt, exactly. More like… exasperation, as if he’d done everything he could to convince Hannah Cooper it just wasn’t going to work out, but she still couldn’t quite grasp the meaning of his words. Seth dipped his head slightly, shook it a few times. Rain understood without him needing to further explain. She’d felt that way herself before--back when Adam was suddenly upset with her for a reason she couldn’t understand. Now, she realized he must’ve felt exactly the same way, thinking she’d been rejecting him when all she’d meant to tell him was that she wanted him to be happy.
But Adam’s face was slipping out of her mind’s eye the closer she moved to Seth. The music changed to something slower, and his other hand slid down around her waist, pulling her within a tablet’s breadth from his muscular chest. She noted the other women wrapping their free arm around the necks of their partners and did the same. Some of the girls had their head resting on firm pectoral muscles. Should she do that, too? The picture on the front of Mist’s book came to mind, and once again, she found herself curious about Seth’s lips.
It wasn’t necessarily the urge to lay her head on his chest that had her doing so as much as it was avoidance of the other dangerous thought that had come to mind. Rain found herself ducking the possibility of a second awkward attempt at expressing her emotions through a kiss by resting her ear just above Seth’s heart. With the beat of the music so loud in her other ear, she didn’t expect to be able to hear the thumping of his heart, but she could. It wasn’t smooth and confident, the way his dance steps glided across the floor; it was erratic and wild, the way Rain assumed her own heart was beating. The constant reminder that Adam was out there risking his life to save her--not just their entire group but specifically her--had Rain feeling the stab of guilt she’d expected to see on Seth’s face earlier for Hannah Cooper. But she didn’t move away from him. Instead, she let Seth hold her, not speaking, not discussing their pasts or what the future might hold, but listening to a woman’s voice sing softly about how much she loved her man as they moved back and forth, locked in each other’s arms as if that was where they were meant to be.
The song was ending. Rain could tell by the way the refrain began to build, the way the emotion in the woman’s voice warbled the vibrato slightly. Relief that she’d have an excuse to unwrap herself from Seth’s body and head back to his house mixed with the idea that she would also have to look him in the eyes as she made her excuse--again--and ducked out. As close as she stood to him now, it would be difficult, looking into those green eyes and not remembering that a few seconds earlier, she’d been listing the reasons why kissing him was a bad idea.
As the last notes echoed around the dance floor, and a new, up tempo song began, Rain pried her head from Seth’s shoulder and stepped back so that a full foot separated them. “I should go,” she began.
“You don’t have to, Rain. Come meet my friends. Peter’s over there.”
She glanced in the direction of the group he’d been standing with earlier. It was virtually the same group as had been standing there before, though she didn’t see Hannah anymore, and all of them seemed to be doing their best not to look at them while simultaneously looking at them.
“Really, Seth, I should go,” she said again. This time, he didn’t get the chance to protest before his arm was being tugged in the opposite direction.
It was Hannah. No wonder she hadn’t seen the girl standing with the others. “Seth, let’s dance,” Hannah said, not even looking in Rain’s direction.
“We will, Hannah,” he said as Rain took a few steps backward, away from him. He looked at her, made a half a shuffle in her direction as Hannah tugged him back to her side.
“Just a minute. Rain--”
“I’ll see you at home,” she said, managing a smile she hoped read as carefree, though it wasn’t. She didn’t want to leave Seth with Hannah, but at the same time, she didn’t want to be the girl who took him away from her either. Up close, Hannah looked even more frail, more fragile, than she had from across the room. It was as if Seth were her oxygen, and without him, she wouldn’t be able to draw a single breath. Wasn’t it bad enough that Rain would be taking him out of town for at least a few days, maybe longer? “Bye, Seth.”
“No, wait,” he said, his arm stretching out in Rain’s direction. She slid between a few couples who were dancing with gusto to the fast music. Hannah must’ve yanked harder as Seth came whirling around. Whatever he was saying to her, it was clipped. His eyebrows were knit together, his lips a thin line. When he turned back to Rain, he shouted, “You shouldn’t go alone,” but that didn’t stop her from spinning on the heel of her borrowed shoe to find the nearest exit. She was almost there now, and even if Hannah released him entirely, he wouldn’t reach her before she found the fresh air anyway, not with the twirling couples between the two of them.
With one last glance over her shoulder, she took in Seth at his angriest, attempting to free his arm from Hannah as she pleaded with him to stay, her expression showing her utter anguish. Why he so desperately wanted Rain by his side, she didn’t know, but it was better this way. If she left, he’d have to stay with Hannah, to sort things out, and that was good because he shouldn’t leave her when she was so upset, not with the future so tumultuous.
The faux night air was crisper, cleaner than the stuffy room of dancers. Rain took a deep breath, letting it wash over her lungs and clear her head before she looked around. She was on the wrong side of the building, in an unfamiliar area. It was fine, though. All she needed to do was walk around the side of the armory, and she’d see the path she needed to take back to Seth’s house. It didn’t matter that it had grown dark while she was inside. She’d find her way.
Rain rushed to the end of the building and rounded the corner into an alleyway. It wasn’t particularly narrow, but it was a little dark. The fake moonlight and stars above her lit the entry and exit, but between where she stood and the light at the far end of the walkway, there was a large swath of nothing but darkness.
Remembering that the Mothers were far away from where she stood, and that nothing here was going to harm her, Rain headed toward Esther’s house, hoping that Seth and Hannah would work it out. Hannah might not have been too friendly toward Rain, but she couldn’t blame her, and she was sure, deep inside, Hannah was a nice girl or else Seth wouldn’t have ever chosen her to be his girl. If she was good enough for that, then Rain had to wish nothing but the best for her, even if doing so caused a stabbing pain in her heart she couldn’t quite understand.
About fifteen steps into the alley, a flicker of movement ahead caught her attention. Rain paused, not trusting her eyes, but then, she realized her senses were not deceiving her. Someone was standing in the shadows, someone whose posture said he wasn’t there to make friends. Rain took a deep breath, thinking perhaps she’d underestimated her situation and there were enemies to be had that were not of the female variety after all.