Chapter 22

Listening to lectures was no way to keep Rain’s mind off of what she was about to do that afternoon, once class was over for the day. While she was doing her best to pay attention to Mother Lavender’s lesson, her mind kept drifting, not just to her upcoming visit to IW, but to what would happen later, as a result of her handing off the information to Adam. Rain didn’t even know what the coded message meant or when this plan was to be put into effect, but she had a feeling nothing she learned in her classes that day was going to matter anymore, once the rebellion was underway, not if it was successful, and especially not if she went with them. Either she’d be dead soon, or she’d be launched into a life she couldn’t even imagine.
What would it be like to flee the only home she’d ever known? What would they find outside of the city limits? Could they make it out of Michaelanburg on foot? How far would they have to go to reach safety? What if the other country Mist had alluded to wouldn’t take them? What would they eat? Sure, they could carry enough hydration pills with them to last months, if not years, but food would be different. They didn’t have a pill to help with that.
“Rain?” Mother Lavender said her name as if it wasn’t the first time. “Would you care to answer the question?”
Snickers from the back of the class let her know some of the other students found her lack of focus amusing. Rain glanced at the screen at the front of the room and saw a simple computation using a formula they’d reviewed before. In a few seconds, she was able to say, “The volume equals 6.32, Mother Lavender.”
The Mother’s pursed lips let Rain know she didn’t want to look as if she were impressed. “Very good.” She moved on to terrorize someone else, and Rain attempted to stay tuned in, but her mind drifted off again as she imagined herself running hand in hand with Adam through the woods, laughing and frolicking like small children.
When class was over, she gathered her belongings slowly, still dreading her trip to IW. She hadn’t allowed herself to think about what it would be like to climb atop him now that she’d spoken to him, now that he had a face and a name. It was too embarrassing to consider. He’d all but told her he didn’t like his job, though he’d seemed to mind her less than many of the other women. She suddenly felt as guilty as those men in history who used to take a woman’s virtue without her permission. Is that how all of the Inseminators felt? Were all of the women really rapists?
“Hey, Rain.” Cloud came up next to her. Rain turned to face her friend, finding a small smile. “How are you?”
“I'm fine. How are you?”
Something about Cloud’s expression let her know that she was aware of what was about to happen that afternoon, or at least had an idea. “I’m good. Are you nervous?” Her voice was low, not that anyone was paying them any attention anyway.
Rain nodded. “Who told you?”
“I’m in it, too,” Cloud explained in a whisper. “So are a few others in our class.”
Assuming she meant their medical class, Rain nodded, though she was surprised. “Does everyone know what I’m going to do?”
“No, only a few people know. But my roommate is in Communications. She’s the hinge.”
Again, Rain’s head rocked back and forth. She assumed that meant her roommate was the one who would disrupt the video feed so the information could be handed off. “Is she nervous?”
“No, Lightning doesn’t get nervous,” Cloud explained, pushing into the classroom. Rain followed. “She’s angry.”
“Why is that?” Rain wanted to know, not that she blamed her.
Leaning in close to her ear, Cloud whispered, “She’s fallen in love with one of the IWs, and she wants him set free.”
Rain’s stomach fluttered. “Love? Is that even possible?” she asked, but she didn’t really need to ask the question. She already knew the answer. Not that she was in love with Adam; she didn’t even know him. But she could see that it was possible.
Cloud’s smile was genuine. “Sure. Why wouldn’t it be? She sees them, you know? When they’re not working. They’re always on camera. She feels like she knows him.”
Swallowing hard, Rain considered what that must be like. “Well, I hope she’s successful. Because if she’s not, we’ll both be in big trouble.”
“You’ll both be dead,” Cloud corrected. Rain’s eyes widened, and Cloud shrugged. “Fact of life. But don't worry. Lightning won’t fail.”
Rain hoped she was right and took her seat, praying that Lightning knew what she was doing. As much as she didn’t want to spend her afternoon on top of Adam, it was preferable to spending it finding out exactly what was on the other side of the Bridge.
After class, Rain made the walk over to IW by herself. Cloud had headed off to join some of the other rebels who were awaiting word that the mission was complete. The amount of pressure weighing down on Rain’s shoulders was akin to a single woman trying to lift a boulder up over her head, and she couldn’t imagine holding it up for much longer.
Methodically, she went about her normal routine. Her fingers hesitated over 24C. All day, she’d wondered what she was supposed to do if he was already selected--but he wasn’t--so that was no longer a fear. Still, she was tempted to forget, to accidentally pick someone else. Picturing Mist’s earnest expression in her mind, she pressed the button that called Adam to the ready and further prepared herself.
Once in the room, she slid her backpack into the locker and took deep breaths, her feet cold on the tile, even with socks. Glancing up at the camera in the corner, she saw the red light, letting her know it was working. At least, she assumed the fact that the light was on as normal was a sign that Lightning hadn’t worked her magic yet. Perhaps Lightning would have a way of making it seem like nothing was amiss when she interrupted the recording, and the light would stay on. Realizing she probably shouldn’t be staring at the camera, something she wouldn’t normally do, Rain pulled her eyes away, and waited for Adam to come through the wall, focusing on breathing.
As usual, the mechanics worked like they were supposed to, and the chair came through the wall. Even with the lights low, she could see he was ready, but the fact that he’d been injected with chemicals to make him so made her stomach twist into a knot. Now, she was supposed to mount him and pleasure herself while he sat there, just a tool for her momentary use, and then he’d be discarded, and she’d go on about her day like she hadn’t just forcibly claimed someone else’s body for her own pleasure.
It took her a few seconds longer than normal to make her feet move, and when she did climb on top of him, she didn’t force him inside of her. The light on the camera was still on; she could see it out of the corner of her eye. With her black gown over top of him, it would be impossible for anyone to know for sure if she was doing what she was supposed to, but the idea of forcing him made her more nauseous than handing off the information, the exact words escaping her at the moment as she pretended to be doing what she was supposed to be doing.
“Rain,” Adam said, his voice a sharp whisper, “what are you doing?”
Her eyes immediately went to the camera. The red light was still on, so she was frightened to answer.
“The light won’t turn off,” he said, as if sensing her concern. “But you don’t need to worry about it.”
“Why are you whispering then?” she asked.
He turned his head toward the door. “Just in case there’s someone outside. Rain, you’re going to have to actually mount me.”
The blood in her veins went cold. “Why?”
“Because… they’ll check, remember? I have to… do my part.”
She did remember--now that he mentioned it. The queasy feeling she’d been experiencing all day increased such that she thought she might be sick.
“It’s okay, Rain. I don’t mind.”
“That’s not what you said last time.” She was whispering, too, but that came out louder than intended.
“Rain… it’s not like we’ve never done this before. It’s all right. Maybe… maybe this will be the last time. For both of us.”
His words cut through her in a way she couldn’t comprehend. While she would’ve loved to never have to visit IW again, and she prayed no one chose Adam ever--so long as that didn’t mean he’d have to go to the Bridge--the thought that she might never be with him again in an intimate capacity left her feeling cold in a way she couldn’t quite understand.
He couldn’t move his hands much at all, but she felt a nudge against her outer thigh as he did his best to move her forward. “Come on, Rain. It’s okay. Just close your eyes, and think about something else.”
It was clear that was what he would be doing. She inhaled deeply and lifted herself up on her knees, thinking she should’ve used some of the lubricant because she was certainly not in the mood. But she was able to move him inside of her easily enough, and the exhale he let go once she was situated didn’t sound completely like someone whose freedom had been compromised.
Rain closed her eyes and tried to picture the cover of the book Mist had found. She imagined the man and woman on the cover were her and Adam, that instead of being strapped to a chair, his arms were around her, that he was kissing her neck, his lips trailing lower. It made it easier to move, and for a moment, she was actually beginning to enjoy herself, until she realized he was saying her name again, and her eyes came open to the same dark room, the same restrictive setting.
“Rain, what were you supposed to tell me?” It was more of a grunt than an articulate sentence, but she understood, and she realized she needed to tell him before they finished.
She had to think about it, though. Messing this up would be fatal for more people than she could care to estimate. When she finally spoke, she was certain she had it right. “Beta forty-eight,” she whispered.
“Beta forty-eight?” he repeated, and it seemed more like he was making sure he’d heard correctly than questioning what it meant.
“Yes.” Once he had that information, she closed her eyes again, wishing she could feel his hands on her, but that was impossible, something that would likely never happen, and when he finally erupted inside of her, she was relieved to have it over with, even if she never experienced that euphoria for herself, and especially because she knew his had come at the end of a long needle and the body of a woman he had no choice but to accept.
Rain slid off of him, and once her feet hit the ground, a wave of terror replaced the nausea she’d been feeling. What if someone had heard them? What if the plan was discovered? What if she never saw him again?
He was good at reading her mind. Just as the chair started to move back into the wall, he whispered, “It’s okay, Rain.” And then… he was gone.
Rain stood with her feet on the cold tile, his essence dripping down her leg, praying that the next time she saw him, he’d be looking at the sky for the first time.