Chapter 87

Rain considered him for a moment, took in his handsome face, his bright green eyes. He was a man in every sense of the word. Strong, intelligent, capable. He knew how to help others and still handle his own matters. But Esther was his mother--the woman who’d carried him in her womb for nine months and then pushed him out through horrendous pain. She’d nursed him, changed his diapers and his clothes, comforted him when he was hurt, kept their family together when her husband had died and then again when his grandfather had passed. She loved him more than she loved herself, but it was too much. It was a smothering kind of a love, and while Rain could understand why he’d need to break free of it, get out from under it so that he could finally inhale deeply enough to fill his lungs completely, for the first time in his life, the beauty of it, of the gravity of a love so strong it pulled the object of the affection down so intensely he couldn’t stand up from the weight of its force, brought tears to Rain’s eyes.
Seth’s demeanor changed as he realized her eyes were glistening. He scooted closer to her and put his warm hand on top of hers where it lay on the cushion between them. “What’s the matter, Rain? What did I say?” His tone was soft and gentle, alarmed.
She shook her head as one tear fell. “Nothing. It’s just… I know you need to be free of it, at least to a degree, but a motherly love like that… it’s a wonderful thing. That’s all.”
Seth lifted his hand and wiped away her tear, his fingertips gentle on her skin. When the salty liquid had been removed, he didn’t pull his hand back. Instead, he stroked her cheek, running his thumb along the bone, his fingers incidentally tangling with strands of red. “Having a mother is a wonderful thing when she loves you as much as mine does,” he agreed. “But I need to follow my own path now. And for the moment, my path runs parallel with yours. I want to go with you. I understand the situation between you and Adam is complicated, and I might not end up with everything I want at the end of this, but you are both good people, and you deserve to be happy. If that means I can be part of that, helping you get to safety and a new life, together or otherwise, then that’s what I want to do. For once in my life, I’m going to do what I want to do, Rain.”
How the distance between them closed up, Rain wasn’t sure, but his lips were on hers, and then her mouth was open and she was tasting him, just as she’d longed to do so many other times since they’d first met. Had it only been a few days ago? It seemed like an eternity since she’d arrived in the safe haven of Judea. Rain’s mind began to race and then fade as Seth’s mouth consumed her own, his tongue tangling around hers. This was it--the kiss from the cover of Mist’s book. It was every bit as exhilarating and wonderful as Rain had imagined it would be, and she didn’t want to let him go.
Only, it wasn’t quite what she’d been imagining--because even though she’d longed to kiss Seth, in her dreams, he wasn’t the one she was kissing. A pang of regret hit her in the side as she continued to prolong the kiss, to tease and coax him with her own tongue, her hands in his hair now. What would Adam say if he knew about this? She knew he didn’t own her, that he would never profess that she belonged to him the way that Mist and Walt were united, but it would hurt him, she was sure of that. And the last thing on earth she wanted to do, especially now that he was out there in the indefinite beyond doing his best to get that tracker away from them so that they’d be safe.
Seth pulled back so quickly, it left her leaning forward, her eyes still closed--confused. She opened them, trying to read his face to determine if she’d done something wrong. “Adam,” he said.
That pang of remorse became a tidal wave. Rain nodded. “I know. It’s just--”
“No, the phone, Rain. It’s ringing. It has to be Adam.”
Her eyes widened. She hadn’t even heard it, but as soon as he spoke, she realized he was right. Next to her on the arm of the chair, Esther’s phone was making a soft chirping sound. Quickly, she turned and attempted to answer it, almost dropping the device. Seth took it from her and pressed a few buttons. “Hello?” he said, his tone hopeful. Rain held her breath, waiting for a signal that it was Adam and that he was all right.
Seth exhaled and a smile came over his face as he said, “No, you did. This is my mom’s phone. She’s in bed, though. Yeah, I got back from the dance early. No, you’re not disturbing me at all. Hold on--here’s Rain.”
He stretched the phone out to her, and she took it, sucking in a deep breath. “Adam?”
“Hey, Rain. How are you?”
The sound of his voice in her ear immediately brought a gush of tears to her eyes. “Oh, thank goodness you're all right. I’m fine. Are you? I mean, are you all right?” He sounded all right. He sounded casual and nonchalant, as if he wasn’t out in the middle of uncharted territory taking a death tracker to a far off land as a legion of murderous Mothers bore down on him.
“I’m okay. I just stopped to refuel and thought I’d check in. I’m making pretty good time. I’m hopeful I’ll be able to dump the tracker soon.”
Her heart continued to pound but she closed her eyes, wet eyelashes plied against her warm cheeks. “Good. How close are they, do you know?”
“I’m not sure. I can hear artillery in the distance and occasional machine gun fire. Now that it’s dark, it’s pretty easy to see the explosions. I think they’re getting closer, but the Oklasaw militia is doing a great job of holding them back.”
Rain found herself nodding even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “I’m glad to hear that. Esther said they were willing to fight to keep the Mothers out of their land. I just hope they don’t end up with a lot of casualties.” Rain noticed for the first time that Seth’s hand was on her back and wondered how long it had been there. The urge to blurt out that she’d just kissed him and that he was touching her now, like this was a confession of some sort, was difficult to overcome. She fought it. “If you need to just drop the tracker and run, Adam, do it. You’re far enough away from us now that they won’t be able to link it to where we are hiding.”
“I know. It’ll be better if I can get it to that body of water, though. If they think Mist is in the river or using the river as transportation, they’re a lot less likely to try and follow us to Quebec.”
Rain hoped he was right, but there was just no way of knowing what the mothers might do. Weren’t there enough of them to continue to search the river and attempt to hunt them down? She had a feeling that they knew by now that they were headed to the country in the north.
Seeing no point in raising that concern now, she let it go. “Adam, just be careful. You getting to the rendezvous location safely is more important than anything else.”
He didn’t respond to her comment. Instead, he asked, “How is Mist?”
“She’s okay.” It had been hours since she’d seen her friend for herself, but she knew that had to be the case. “We should be able to leave on time.”
“Good.” He went quiet, and Rain was content to listen to him breathing, wishing she’d cherished that sound more when she was lying next to him to sleep. Now, he seemed even further away since she could hear him and picture him in her mind but not touch him. “I should probably get going. You’re okay? Your shoulder isn’t bothering you anymore?”
“I’m fine.” Memories of what had happened earlier in the day, when she’d tried to tell him how she felt, came flying back to her. If she were alone, she might try to explain herself to him, but Seth didn’t need to hear about that encounter when Rain had been so out of it.
“I’m glad to hear that. You sound fine. You sound great. I’m… so glad I got to talk to you.”
While the tears had dried up during their discussion, they were back now with a vengeance. “I am, too.”
“I’ve been wanting to call all day, but I knew I needed to get as close to the river as I could before I stopped. I refueled once earlier but…. Anyway, be careful, Rain. Especially when you leave there. If… if I don’t get a chance to talk to you again.”
“You will get a chance to talk to me again, Adam. It might not be before you drop the tracker, but you will talk to me again. I’ll see you in a couple of days.” She believed that with all of her heart, not just because she had to, but because she knew the militia would protect him, and the fact that he’d gotten so far made her think there was nothing that could stop him. She never would’ve imagined he’d be able to ride the motorbike in the first place. Now, here he was, almost to the river in such a short amount of time. He had to make it to the rendezvous point. He just had to.
“Hey, Rain, when I get back there, can we talk about… what you said earlier? That you could be her?”
The heat in her cheeks seemed to increase dramatically as she thought back to the proclamation she’d made in her stupor and the sloppy kiss. “Yes, we can talk about that.”
“Okay, good. Because… if I didn’t know for sure I’d make it back there, I’d be tempted to say something right now, something I want you to know, but that I don’t want to dump on you and make you deal with when I’ll be seeing you soon enough.”
A small smile pulled at the corner of her mouth as she imagined she knew what it was he was contemplating saying. She’d heard what he’d said to Seth about her and knew his feelings for her were just as strong as the ones she felt for him. Seth’s hand on her back didn’t change that. Neither did the kiss. Complicate things--absolutely--but not negate them. “We’ll talk about it in Louis City,” she assured him.
“All right. I’m going to go. I think I can make it to the river by dawn--I hope.”
“Be careful.”
“You, too.”
“See you soon, Adam.”
“Goodbye, Rain.”
Not sure how to disconnect the call, Rain stared at the phone for a few seconds until Seth took it from her and pushed a few buttons. When he handed it back, it was off. “Thanks,” she muttered.
“Sure. Mom’s passcode is 1217, my birthday. In case he calls back later--when I’m not around.”
She nodded, wondering if Esther had told her that earlier and she’d just forgotten. She’d been so nervous when the phone rang, no coherent thoughts had registered. But now that she had finished talking to Adam, she needed to address the situation from before. Part of the reason she’d been so flustered was that Seth had been kissing her. And she’d been kissing him back. “Seth--”
“It’s been a super long day, Rain.” He stretched, his muscular arms reaching up over his head. “I think I’m gonna hit the hay.”
Puzzled, she stared at him for a long moment, not speaking. He stood, picking his glass up off of the coffee table. It seemed like she should say something, should make him stay so they could discuss what had transpired between them. Wasn’t that the sort of thing that needed to be discussed?
Apparently, he didn’t think so as he was exiting the room. “Have a good night, Rain,” he called over his shoulder, barely looking at her as he continued toward his room.
“Good night,” Rain managed. While she did feel like she should say more, if he didn’t want to talk about it, perhaps it was best to let it go. Rain would’ve liked to get it out in the open and be as real about her feelings as she could be, but if Seth didn’t want to, she wouldn’t press him to.
Memories of his lips pressed to hers made her smile, though. Even if she never kissed him again, even if he thought it was a mistake, it had been her first real kiss, since the one she’d attempted with Adam had fallen so short of the mark. Thinking about the book cover, she had to think that couple had nothing on what had just gone on between herself and Seth.
Still smiling, Rain took Esther’s phone and headed to the bedroom, hoping she got a chance to kiss Adam like that someday and that whatever happened between herself and Adam, Seth wouldn’t get hurt. Because she did have feelings for him. The entire situation was complicated, and she just wanted to turn her brain off and go to sleep for a few hours. In her experience, the dawn usually brought clarity. She’d be needing that in the morning--and for many mornings to come.