23. One last round

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Nadia was honestly conflicted about what exactly she felt about her brother. Was it rage or loathe? She couldn’t tell. The two women were sitting in eerie silence, staring at Trina’s grave like it somehow held the answers to everything they couldn’t\t understand.

“Your brother is an ass, | eventually Sasha broke the silence, turning to look at Nadia.

“Tell me about it,” She sighed, sitting down crossed just beside Trina’s grave. She didn’t mind that grass was a little damp and soon enough Sasha joined her.

“But why leave flowers at someone he barely knew? You think he still has a heart?” She went on to question while pushing her blonde hair.

Nadia looked at her best friend,” Honestly, I don’t care. All I know is that I lost my best friend and whomever that person is under that skin, is not my brother,”

They grew silent again. This time, Nadia was wondering how fast it took her life to change from what she knew to nothing predictable. On one part, she wondered if she had remained in New York instead of rushing to dig into her past, Trina would still be alive and she’d probably be married to William. Ah, William. She wondered how he was doing. Since Vegas, she hadn’t laid her eyes on him. Was he okay? Did he hate her more now since she was basically the reason he was a vampire now. Was he even still alive? I mean, technically he was dead. She was the villain to his story. That much she knew.

“I couldn’t tell him I love him,” She broke the silence, “Collins. He just stood there, waiting for me to say the L-word and I couldn’t form the words. May brain knew them; heck, memorized them and somehow I couldn’t let them past my lips,”

“What? But why? We know you love him,”

“Baffles me too,” She sighed, “Maybe a part of me knows that when I say the words, it’s a commitment. It means I’m bound to him. I become a part of him and he becomes a part of my world. But what if I don’t want him to be that yet? I’m still so much of a mess and a lot has happened within the past few weeks. I need time,”

“Or maybe you are haunted by the guilt of hurting William. You are afraid of making that mistake again and leaving another man hurt. You know you can’t handle it,” Sasha answered.

“What are you…fuck!” she chuckled bitterly, “I’m such a selfish person, ain’t I?”

“I mean, what you did to William, that’s unforgivable. I still have no idea why he chased after you when you are the one who did him dirty,” Sasha exhaled, “If you want to know what exactly you feel, talk to the man involved, not me. Tomorrow, I’m leaving this town before I get fired. I may like it here but I like money more,” she added the last part with a light-hearted chuckle.

“Must be really nice to have your life all figured out, right? I mean, you know exactly what you want and you already have it all mapped out for you,”

“I don’t have anything mapped out for me, Nadia. I’m just a twenty-four-year-old woman who worked her ass off almost my entire life. Now I have a great job and I can do whatever the hell I want, go to places I dreamed of and get the most expensive jewelry. So it’s not that I have my life figured out. No, I’m ripping the profits of working smart,” she placed her hand on Nadia’s shoulder, smiling comfortingly, “You aren’t in a bad place either. Just because you are having a little hiccup in your love life, doesn’t mean that has to overshadow all the achievements you have made. Nadia, you are so damn great and never forget that,”

“Damn! How long have you waited to tell me that?” Nadia reciprocated with a chuckle.

“A year,” She paused, “All I’m saying is that your life is not spiraling, okay? Tonight go talk to the man you love, figure it out and you’ll realise you are the one holding yourself back. And now, ist time for me to say bye a to a few people in towna nd start packing”

“Say goodbye? Seriously? You are not talking about one last round of fuck, are you?” Nadia questioned, getting up after Sasha and heading out of the graveyard.

“One round? Are we talking the appetizer?” She winked.

“Don’t you ever get tired of sex?” Nadia complained falling into step. Apparently, she had talked a bit too loud because an old lady by the sidewalk did shoot her a glare.

“Sex is transactional. If he isn’t giving back the way he is receiving, then obviously I’ll get tired. So, I just get myself the freakiest of men. They get you tired in the right way,” she winked.

“Oh, so now I know Danny is freaky and so is that other guy. How great,”

“Christian?” she smiled, ignoring the sting in her the mention of Danny’s name, “He has got a god tongue. I don’t know how does it but I’ll definitely miss my little good boy,”

“Well, if it’s only about the sex, you don’t have to cut him off. He probably would drive all the way to New York for a weekend of fun,”

“Not being cocky, but if I keep on giving it to him, he’ll probably get addicted. We wouldn’t want him crying to me about a broken heart just because I refused to commit,”

“Hmmm…smart,”

“I know,”