The List
POV: Alexandra
When I heard Jheelis use the phrase he did about The Order being on his list, I flinched a little. It was reactionary because when a citizen means they have a list, they really mean revenge. No other race is more about vengeance than the elves of Seely. Jheelis had put The Order of The Old Ways, in its entirety, on his revenge list. He would carry it out methodically as soldiers of Seely did and understanding what I knew of Jheelis from Renier, he was a highly efficient bow user. I sighed, “Are you sure you want to put the entire organization on your list? Wouldn’t that cause war for your realm?” He, in turn, flinched himself. He hadn’t thought of those things, he was reactionary. He was like one of those guys that shot his bow and asked questions later. If I hadn’t been around to remind him of these things, I wondered if he would have flown off the handle and started hunting them down that very night. He looked down at me, “I wonder if it might be useful to go speak to your regent about being temporarily consigned to your Citadel here. That would make the hunt legal.” I looked down, “You could, and knowing His Highness’s history with them, he would grant that regardless of what His Majesty says. I just worry you will go after the…wrong people.” He whipped his head around at me and narrowed his eyes. Crap, I gave away that I knew something more than I was telling him. I should have known he was smart enough to catch on. He leaned slightly towards me, “There’s something you aren’t telling me, Highest Highness. What is it?” I shook my head, “No, I’m not keeping anything from you.” He leaned further towards me and I took a lean back, I knew darn well he wasn’t going to drop this until he got the answer out of me. I looked behind me to the door wondering if I could make an excuse to leave and make a mad dash at the door. I looked down at his legs, I could only see the definition in his thighs and I assumed his calf muscles were just as defined. Given the length of them, his stride was far longer than mine so I wouldn’t make it. Besides that, he could probably catch my arm while I was getting up from the settee.
He continued to lean toward me until he backed me into the arm of the settee and he leaned in enough that I could feel his breath on my neck. He whispered in a slightly raspy voice, “Highest Highness, you know I would never harm you. It is against my oath and I really don’t want the punishment. I will tell you that if you don’t tell me what you are keeping from me, I will take it out on you in…other ways.” I started to push on him, “What…what do you mean?” He smelled of sage and oranges, it would have been a pleasant smell had he not been leaning on top of me. He pulled away slightly, cupped my face, and brushed his thumb across my lips, “I had often wondered since I met you, what it would be like to kiss you. Perhaps I should take a kiss from you as punishment for not telling me what you know. Ordinarily, I don’t force myself on women especially great ladies such as yourself but this is about family. That’s personal. Do you understand?” He leaned enough to where we were eye to eye and his lips were about an inch away from my lips. I nodded, “I…I think I understand but I am protecting my family as well.” He leaned back and looked at me confused, “I think you need to explain. I promise to listen and not judge. I don’t want to hurt anyone you love, Highest Highness. If I had found out someone in your family had a hand in hurting Tyleesh, I would not have afforded you the opportunity to explain this to me. I would have seen it as a betrayal. It is best you tell me now.” He straightened himself up and I followed suit, “You could have explained that to me before.” He shrugged, “How was I supposed to know you were protecting your family? I’m sorry for my method to get you to talk. I am just frustrated hearing what was done to my brother and nothing is being done for justice.” I shook my head, “That’s only half true. We know about them, who is in charge, and who is involved now. Our seer has advised His Majesty that if he strikes too soon, it would strengthen them. He’s waiting for the right time.”
He looked me in the eye, “So who is it you are protecting?” I sighed, “Have you met my Uncle Talon?” He shook his head, “Surprisingly, no. He supposedly lives with Vanessa but I had not seen him once. She said that he goes deep in the forest all day long from really early in the morning to late at night. She doesn’t know exactly what he does out there though. She said he explained that he was exercising some personal demons. Oh but I do know who he is though, he was once a great General in your Citadel. He was thought to have died a hero’s death in attempting to rescue His Majesty’s father. He was recently discovered with his memory wiped out and it took your healing heart to bring him back. These pieces of news had traveled to Seely since we greatly admired General Talon Esperanza. Why?” I sunk my top two teeth into my bottom lip, “While that story is true, we lied to others by omission. This was at His Majesty’s behest. Talon was taken from the ruins of the castle tower by The Order. They caused the whole thing in order to take out the King but they gained a fully trained soldier through manipulation and brainwashing. They led him to believe he owed them something for taking him in so he did their dirty work. With his memory gone, his core principles had not vanished. He still felt his sense of duty. They decided to give him a new name.” He sighed, placed his elbows on his knees, clasped his hands, and looked down, “I’m guessing that he had something to do with Tyleesh’s kidnapping then? That’s why you felt the need to keep this from me?” He looked back at me, “Am I correct?” I nodded, “I just don’t want you to be angry with him. When he was that other person, he didn’t know that he was wrong. As Talon, he can understand that his memories of that time were wrong. He would even tell you that he would take any punishment you saw fit.” He nodded but said nothing. He stared straight at the fire blazing in the fireplace, “He’s Zero, isn’t he? That’s why you kept it from me. Retribution against him.” I said sheepishly, “Yes.” I bowed my head at him, ashamed that I would protect my family from him when it was my family member that caused the young man so much pain. Jheelis had a right to take action against my uncle if everything were just that simple but we had the added element of brainwashing and manipulation from The Order. These things weren’t so simple.
He rose from his seat and looked down at me, “Thank you for telling, Alexandra. I know that you are scared for him but I can tell you care a great deal for him. I promise I won’t harm him. You have my word on that.” He walked determinedly toward the door but I called out to him, “Where are you going?” He said, “I’m going to go to the deep part of Blackwood.” I furrowed my brow at him, “You realize that is really dangerous. Not many venture in those parts unless you know those woods well.” He turned to look at me, “I’m going to seek out your uncle.” I got up, walked over to him, and placed a hand on his shoulder and it tensed up under my touch, “Why would you do that?” He sighed as if frustrated with my questions. “I kind of want to talk to him about his time as Zero and especially the kidnapping of my brother.” I shot up, “You can’t do that!” He looked at me with irritation plainly on his face, “What do you mean I cannot? Is there something else you’re keeping from me? Something you wish to tell me?” I nodded my head, “It’s not that I kept it from you, not intentionally anyhow. He doesn’t just know what he did to Tyleesh. We had not told him.” He furrowed his brow, “Then how do you know his story in so much detail.”
I felt a small headache come on, it was a small pain at the back of my head. I reached my hand back to massage the base of my skull but that didn’t help. I don’t know what I was thinking by doing this but it seemed like the proper action. It seemed to work on instances before this so it had become a habit. I read somewhere once that pinching the space between your index finger and thumb can also lessen pain. I did that as well but that didn’t relieve the pain. I shrugged at the attempts to relieve the annoying pain in my head. I figured it was insignificant and Jheelis deserved to hear this so I would let him know the story now and lay down for a nap later. I sighed in slight irritation. I couldn't talk to him without my body betraying me but life happens. I looked back at him after that session of what probably looked like fidgeting, “Look, his memories from that time were repressed with my healing heart.” He walked back over to the settee and sat back down, “So then how did you find out where Tyleesh was being held if Talon had not told you?” I joined him on the settee and inhaled deeply as I did so to prepare myself for the story time that I was about to relive. I explained how I was able to access the memories and lived out the scene with my consciousness in his body in the memory that was in his mind. He didn’t have to remember it, I took that on to find him. I lived the trauma with Tyleesh, I took the burden of remembering. I described everything in detail and with each word I felt the pain in my head grow and build pressure. My nose started to run so I sniffed it back because I didn’t want to dirty Jheelis’ handkerchief further than I already had with my makeup streaked on the light green cloth. I continued until the point they forced him into the portal, my uncle and some woman that still seemed really familiar to me but I couldn’t remember from where.
I finished my story and looked up at Jheelis to see his reaction. He stared at my face and it slowly turned to horror. I furrowed my brow, “Are you okay?” He nodded but continued to stare at my face, “I think you should be telling me if you are okay.” I stared at him, not understanding how he knew that my head was hurting. He reached down at my hands and took the handkerchief he gave me. He folded it haphazardly then pressed it to my face. He pulled it away and showed me. Was my nose bleeding? I looked down at the piece of cloth and there was, in fact, blood on it. I stared down at it, “I’m bleeding.” He shook his head, “This isn’t blood. Look again.” I narrowed my eyes and looked at the substance he had taken from my nose and it was black. What the hell was coming out of my nose?
