All The Nerves
It was a struggle, but I finally got my dress, shoes, and necklace on. All that was left was the ring the King sent and for my mother to do my hair and makeup, knowing her she would doll me up in some old Hollywood style. That was her aesthetic and when she got a chance, she would do so to me. I was staring at me trying to decide how she would do my hair no doubt. She then spoke up, "I'm thinking a Victorian style updo with a delicate natural makeup look. Your beauty stands out on its own without the need to enhance it. We're going to take the hair away from your face to make it the center to the attention. I think tan and copper shades." When she said this Dana curtsied and went to my mother's room to fetch the makeup, since all of the makeup I had were dark shades. I was a fan of black and mother hated that as a makeup look. She set to work on my hair and in very little time she had my long black hair in an updo with an occasional ringlet hanging out. If I didn't feel like Scarlet O'Hara or Jo March all fancied up before, I would do now. Dana appeared just in time with the makeup and true to form my mother painted my face with sandy neutral tones and a light smear of gold bronzer as a blush. The last touch was a dusty rose matte lipstick with a tingly plumping lip gloss. My mother stood back with the twin housekeepers eyeing her handy work and she turned to Delilah and Dana, "What do you ladies think?" They both smiled simultaneously and in unison said, "Perfect Your Grace."
My mother then looked back down at me with a smile, "Well, what do you think Xan?" I shook my head to which she frowned but I merely reached into my vanity to pull out the box with the gold ribbon. I held it up to her, "I have to wear this tonight and then it will be perfect." My mother took the box out of my hand and scrutinized it, "No one in the Vellum is allowed to use gold ribbon except…" The revelation hit her eyes at once and she dismissed the house keepers. As soon as they shut the door, she sat down and took my hand, "Is he making a declaration to you?" I smiled and shook my head, "No. How would he? He's never seen me. No, this was my signal to him that I would both become his friend and signal that I will swear fealty to him and his mother." She considered my words before opening her mouth, "So does that mean you will go through the Ritual?" This was a source of nerves for her, and she told me about a few times over the last couple of weeks what would happen if I didn't. I carefully regarded her question, "I mean, I have to. Right? More so, I want to. I got to know the King through the couple of letters he has sent me, and I can tell his worthy of my loyalty." My mother nodded and relaxed, but another revelation came to her. At that point, she tensed up, "You know you will have to dance with whomever asks you tonight…including the Duke of Mesha, His Highness Prince Blake. I know we haven't much discussed him, but I will tell you he makes me nervous." I nodded, well aware of what is required of me tonight, "I have a confession to make but you have to promise you won't get mad." She inhaled sharply and tensely blurted out, "What?" I shifted nervously in my seat then pulled out the letter from Blake, "I received this when we were at the boutique, it appears that the shop keeper is loyal to the Prince." I saw her jaw clench, but she didn't say anything about the shop keeper, "May I read it?" I nodded because I felt that she should know what it said.
She carefully but with trembling hands opened the letter and read aloud, "My dearest rose." She rolled her eyes at that first line but continued without commentary, "I cannot wait to see you tonight at the ball, it will take everything within me not to snatch you away." I could see the angry fire light up in her eyes as she looked at me, "Oh no he fucking won't!" I put a hand on her leg to calm her, "Just read on." She sighed, "I know this would not be possible so I will behave and let my brother have his silly opening dance with you but just know, my love, that you will be in my arms soon after. You will not be able to refuse me, but I believe you will not want to. I firmly believe we are destined for one another, and you will know that once you look at me for the first time. I hope you enjoy the gift I commissioned for you; I know you hate wearing heels, so I had her make sure she enchanted them to take away the fatigue." She eyed me and then the shoes I was wearing, "I will give him this, he has taste. I just hate that we have to commit to using any gift from him. They really are perfect, and I wonder how he knew what color your dress would be." I looked at her, "Mom, you're predictable. Everyone and their dog know you would have picked one of two colors for me to wear tonight. I think he probably commissioned the two colors." She rolled her eyes and merely utter, "You are such a brat." I giggled, "But you love me." She finished the letter, "I know that no matter what you wear, your beauty will shine brighter than any woman in all of Vellum. Melody Maigny thinks she'll be the belle of the ball but wait until all of Vellum's nobility sets eyes on you, my beauty. All the women will be jealous of you and all the men will covet you. Stand tall and own your beauty for tonight is yours and yours alone. Your devoted Prince, Blake."
She shoved the letter back in the envelope and handed it to me. I took it from her and looked at it, "What are you thinking?" She simply said, "A lot of four-letter words but it doesn't seem like he means you harm. Please just tread lightly around him, you didn't see the look in his eyes when he met you. It was carnal for someone so young; I cannot imagine what it is like as a grown man. He will be standing at his mother's side when you're presented. And what did you think about it?" I looked at her in silence for a little while before answering, "I'm not sure what to think. How does one love someone they don't even know?" My mother grabbed my hands, "That's how strong your ability is. It has the power to hold someone's heart for a very long time. Sometimes it fades but it depends on how devoted someone is to keep it in their heart. It appears Blake is very devoted to the feeling the ability gave him, it can be like a drug if you let it." I had not really grasped the power of my ability and that scared me that I could be a drug to some. The sooner I could learn to control it the better and I was now anxious to contact that witch that Aphrodite told me about. I will tell my mother about my contact with the Goddess later because I was trying to focus on the night ahead.
I wanted to ask again, hoping that I would get a straight answer from her this time, "What is the Blood Ritual like?" She looked at me puzzled, "Why would you ask about that again?" I shrugged, "I figured you'd finally tell me since I'm about to go do it tonight. This isn't one of those things you think keeping it secret will protect me from it. Right?" She pinched the bridge of her nose and got up to gather the makeup and clean up, "No Xan. I haven't told you about it because I honestly don't know." I turned to her, "What do you mean you don't know? Didn't you go through it?" She nodded, "Every Ritual is different and determined not only by race but also individually. Not to mention it is practically done in private. The only ones allowed in the Ritual chamber are you, the King, his family, Pretre Jean and one Elder Counsel member. Likely it will be Lord Feegan since he is the most neutral." I was nervous being in a room with a bunch of people I didn't know, "Okay thanks for giving me all the nerves." She gave me a pointed look, "You asked. I'm telling you." I sighed, "Sorry. Who determines the Ritual anyhow?" She tucked her case under her arm, "Grand Pretre, She determines what is appropriate for each person. Mine was my blood and the king’s blood, each put a drop in some wine and we each had to drink it." If Grand Pretre was going to determine this Ritual for me then I think it would be okay. She would never harm me but my mother's declaration on her Ritual had me thinking, "Did you fangs come out?" She nodded, "They usually do when we drink even smallest bit of blood. It is our basic primal instinct after all. We may have evolved but in our DNA rests the instincts of our ancestors. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go get ready."
I let her words marinate in my head and through all of that, three words stuck. Basic primal instinct. I wondered if it would hurt for my teeth to retract for what I imagine was my first time. I wondered what the Grand Pretre would have in store for me with this Ritual. She said she adored me as one touched by the Gods, but I know she could sometimes be unpredictable and mischievous. There were rumors that she was part pyrio part fae which, in Vellum, is taboo. Vellinians were on shaky terms with the fae from the Seely Realm and felt that their blood was filthy and tainted. To me, practically an outsider, it seemed like prejudice that was likely uncalled for. I told myself and my own family that I would never judge anyone and let their personality speak for itself. My father said that was the measure of a good leader and that I would thrive in my role here as acting Duchess. I pushed all of that aside when I heard my door open, and Dana popped in. I looked up at her, "Yes?" She curtsied, "Pardon me Your Grace but your parents are waiting downstairs for you. It is time." I nodded, "Yes, tell them I will be right down." She smiled curtsied and left. I took the box with the gold ribbon that my mother had left on the vanity. I opened it to the ring the King had sent me. I slipped it on my finger and felt a strange tingling sensation when it sat on my right ring finger. I checked myself in the mirror once more, "Well, it's show time I guess."
