CHAPTER 20:

Things are okay for a while. There are always phases where everything is so good and nothing can ruin your happy moody because there is that one person in your life that is holding everything together. There's phases. Things are amazing is number one; everything is just perfect like I had just said. Something happens but you get over it and overcome it is phase two. Your life starts going into a slump down where nothing is good, all you see is black and bad things keep happening. Then you are constantly sad, good things happen but not enough to make you really really happy. I am going through the phases. Phase two just happened, except, I don't know if anyone will get over this.

I had just gotten home after a long day of school, the assignments are really starting to pile on and my stress levels have been through the roof. All I wanted was a peaceful afternoon. To sleep, eat and maybe fit a bit of studying in while multitasking by watching a movie that will boost my mood up.

Of course, none of those plans had followed through. About an hour after I got home, Brock started struggling to breath. He was scared, we all were. This sort of stuff hadn't really happened much before, so dad called the ambulance straight away and gave him an inhaler. While it helped for at least 10 minutes, just when the emergency services arrived he couldn't breath again. They took him into the car, mum and dad got in as well. Nick and I just looked at each other after they had left, both thinking the same thing. That Brock didn't have much time left anymore.

I have prayed each night for a miracle to happen, but nothing has happened yet. Brock is still in pain, everyday and there is nothing any of us can do to stop that. If I knew a way to stop his pain then I would try my hardest to help him. But I'm relying on the doctors too much to save him. Now, Nick, mum, dad and I are all sitting in the ER, waiting for someone to come out and tell us how Brock is doing and if he will be okay.

Mum and dad end up speaking privately in the corner, away from our greedy ears. Nick and I just sit in silence, we both have the fear that we will lose our little brother too soon. I try not to show my fear, I try to be brave and strong for Brock but it's just so hard. A man walks out of the room Brock is in, we all immediately rush over to him and attack him with questions.

"Mr and Mrs Lacuna, your son is in critical condition. He's just gotten worse, nothing is working to help Brock. I'm sorry but we are doing the best we can to help him, but I don't know what more we can do for him. It's only a matter of time..." Dad holds his hand up and shakes his head, none of us want to hear the rest of what this doctor has to say.

Dad seems mostly angered, his breathing becoming harsh. He lunges at the doctor and holds him against the wall, "well try harder! This is my son we are talking about. He.... he has to get better."

The amount of pain I hear in his voice hurts me, it makes my heart tighten in pain. His desperation for them to help Brock only increasing by the minute. Nick holds his head in his hands and walks away to cool off. Whereas mum starts crying and pulls dad back to hug him tightly. As for me? I stand still, feeling everything all at once and only wishing that I could switch it all off. Pangs of pain are constantly hitting at my chest and I try to stay calm.

The doctor informs us that we can go in and see Brock then he walks off to grab hi some food. We walk in together, as a family. His frail body comes into my line of sight and it physically hurts to look at him. His cheeks are hollow, his body thinned out and his hair almost gone. He has a tube in his nose to help him to breath, I hold back my tears. He gives us a smile, mum covers her mouth with her hand and starts sobbing; he sighs and looks down at his lap.

"I'm sorry. I'm a f*ck up and I have ruined you guys, I never wanted to hurt you guys and make your lives a living hell," he cries, blaming himself. I shake my head and rush over to him, wrapping my arms around him. He hugs me back and hides his face in my arms, "all I seem to do is hurt everybody."

"It's not your fault."

Mum, dad's and Nick's arms wrap around Brock and I. We are just a family, wanting the best for each other. We are a family holding onto the hope, hope is the only thing that keeps us from letting the truth settle in.

##

"Hey little Lacuna," Titus nudges me and smirks, Haylee- his daughter comes running outside. Emberly follows behind, chasing after her 'little' girl. Haylee giggles and notices Ben standing by the pool side, so to annoy her older brother she pushes him into the water. He resurfaces, spitting out water along his way and glares at Haylee. Titus continues talking to me, ignoring his children's fight.

"MUM! DAD!" Ben shouts, Emberly sighs and shakes her head. "Did you see what Haylee just did?" He asks, making sure that they know she is the one at fault here.

"Hi Titus, how is everything going?" I mumble sitting down on one of the pool chairs. The sun is setting, the various colours of orange, yellow and purple displaying across the sky. This would be the perfect moment if Jake was here, with me. We could take multiple cringe worthy pictures. I smile slightly at the thought.

"I'm always good. I'm married to the love of my life, have two beautiful children... Everything is perfect. How is your life going? Got a boyfriend yet?" He wiggles his eyebrows at me, I laugh and smile slightly.

"Well... there is someone but he hasn't exactly asked me officially out yet. But, I like him a lot. He likes me as well, I do hope things work out because it would really suck if they didn't. My time would have gone to waste. All of this would be for nothing." Titus sighs and sits down next to me. Both of us are tuning out his shouting children in the background. Emberly is actually shouting, I hardly see her shout; she is usually very calm and just too sweet. But obviously she has had enough.

"If he likes you and you mean that much to him, he will always show it. I'm sure he would never hurt you intentionally, us guys love our girls unconditionally even though it may not seem like it. I will do anything for Em," I raises my eyebrows and look back and forth from him to Emberly where she is clearly stressed out about their two children fighting. Titus isn't doing anything yet, but im sure if he spoke up then Haylee and Ben would stop fighting.

"Well Titus, your wife is kinda struggling to get Ben and Haylee to stop fighting so why don't you help your wife? She obviously needs it," Titus looks over at Emberly and sighs. "You're scarier than her." Titus sighs, he is like my uncle. I can talk to him about anything, I trust him and he will always be there for me.

"Ben and Haylee, listen to what your mother says," he sighs. Ben mimics him which irks Titus further, he stands up and walks to the pool and pulls Ben out with one hand by his t-shirt. "Don't be a sh-" Emberly cuts him off.

"Language! Also, don't man handle him so roughly Titus," she scolds him and pulls Ben into her arms. She has always been such a good mother and she always will be, even if they treat her like shit which is something Titus doesn't deal with.

"Sorry babe," he kisses her cheek and smiles down at her. Their love is so special, it's like my parents love. It's as if their honeymoon phase never stopped and they are still madly in love. That is what I want with my future boyfriend. Mum and dad walk outside and welcome Titus and Emberly, we haven't really seen anyone in a while because of how busy we have all been. Titus keeps his arm around Emberly's waist, Haylee hugs her dad- she will always be a daddy's girl.

"Hey mum, dad... do you mind if I go spend time with one of my friends for a while? I'll be back before 10," I promise. Dad raises his eyebrows, his protectiveness coming into play. I sigh and look at mum, pleading with her to convince dad. Mum smiles and hits dad, his face contorts from it's normal shape to a face of pain.

"That's fine sweetie, make sure you're back by 10 at the latest. That's fine, right Val?" She gives him a look, he doesn't seem happy; his stubbornness comes into play and he stands there with his arms crossed and looks at mum with a plain face. She stands on her tippy toes and kisses him, this is her way of convincing him obviously. She pulls back and I'm highly disturbed because he is grabbing her butt. That is my mother he is groping.

"That's fine. You can go, cya," he shoos me away and I can only imagine why. My nose scrunches up and i escape as quickly as I can, I grab my phone and my keys. I send Jake a quick text and he says I can come over, I feel excited but nervous as I get closer and closer tp his home. I arrive, of course his home is big and beautiful, the gates are open so I drive through and park at the front. The door opens and Jake walks out, he stands there with his hands in his pockets while he waits for me to get closer to him. He smirks and grabs my hand, pulling me close to his body. He kisses the corner of my mouth and I'm slightly disappointed that he didn't kiss my lips.

"Hey there," he says flirtatiously. He lets me walk in first then closes the door behind him, he grabs my hand and leads me up to what I'm assuming is his room. My heart is beating so fast, he makes me so nervous. Especially if he is taking me to his room, I hope he realises that I'm not ready to do stuff sexually yet. "Sit down," he says, I do what he says and I bounce slightly on his big fluffy mattress.

"How was school today?" I ask, laying back on his amazing mattress. His mattress is so thick and fluffy and way better than mine, I wish I could stay here forever. He jumps on the bed and turns on the tv for us to watch, he goes onto Netflix and I pick a movie. Of course I pick The Kissing Booth, it is such an amazing movie; it is my favourite movie. Jacob Elordi is so hot, his protectiveness is so sexy and ughhh he is so big and muscular and very very tall. I recommend watching the movie if you haven't seen it. Jake didn't even argue when I said we'd be watching this movie.

"Boring as usual, I didn't see you at lunch today. Where were you?" He asks, turning his head to look at me.

"I was studying in the library, I'm just so stressed about all these exams coming up. Sorry that I didn't tell you, I didn't tell anyone but I wanted to focus by myself," I feel as if I need to explain my self to him. I never want to upset him in any way.

"Don't worry about it. You're here now with me, that's all that matters."

We both go silent for a while, I don't know if he feels the awkwardness and the pressure but I sure do. "What are we? Just friends? Two opposite genders that like each other? A thing? Dating? What are we?" I ask, wanting to know where I stand.

"I don't know to be honest. It's too early to be dating but I really like you, so I guess we are a thing. Something will obviously progress after this and we could possibly be more than what we are now," I nod slowly at him. I guess his idea sounds good, we don't want to rush things then everything turns out terribly. He pats the spot next to him, he is laying down with his head on the pillows while one of his arms rests across the one next to him. Which is right where he wants me to lay. I climb up the bed and lay my head on his arm and curl up to his body. He plays with my black straight hair, comforting me and relaxing me.

"I like you a lot, Jake."

He is silent, the only thing I can hear is the sound of the people talking in the movie. For a moment I think he is doubting everything and isn't going to say anything, but he eventually does. "I like you a lot too, Faye."

He kisses my forehead and we continue watching the movie together, enjoying being in each other's arms. Well, his arms are around me. It is the best thing ever.