CHAPTER 33:

"Morning sweetie," mum says as she places a plate of food in front on the counter, I smile tiredly and sit down in my usual seat. Nick wonders out too, yawning with no shirt on.

"Hey guys," Nick says, stretching his arms.

"Are you attempting to flex your muscles, Nick?" Ty chuckles as he walks out as well. Nick scowls at him and flips him off before taking a seat next to me. Tyrese greets mum with a kiss on the cheek and snatches a piece of bacon off the pan. She slaps him lightly and shakes her head at him.

"So when are you leaving Tyrese?" Dad asks, walking out with just his boxers on. I notice mum eyeing him, with a lustful gaze making me gag. Dad wonders over to mum and pecks her lips and non discretely grabs her ass making us all groan. "Oh shush it you's, you'll all understand once you're married and can barely touch your woman," he points at each and every one of us.

"I'm leaving when Faye is better," Tyrese responds, dampening the mood dad just made so bright and funny. I look down, he's not the person I thought he was. He was a role model to me, Brock and Nick and this is how he has turned out?

"Don't you think she can get better by herself?" Dad attempts to sound friendly but comes across as rude. This makes it all the more clear to me as I slowly chew my bacon. Dad knows. Mum knows. Does nick know? But they just don't want to tell us that our role model is a drug addict.

"I think she needs me actually," he shrugs making me look up. Every person in the room is staring at me, as if they expect me to say something.

"Well then," Nick swallows loudly. "Thanks for the breakfast mother," he thanks her sincerely. She smiles at him and wonders over to dad and sits on his lap. He rubs her back up and down and kisses her cheek. Their love is pure and it's something I've always wanted. They may have had their difficulties earlier on in their relationship but look at them now. More happy than ever.

"So, what's the plan for today? Bowling? Mini golfing? Movies?" Ty asks. It's as if he expects me to be okay when he doesn't realise that I just want to stay home. Dwell on my problems, eat chocolate, watch romance movies and cry some more.

"There's no plan for today," I say, frowning as my stomach aches with pain within the minute. I rub it, assuming it's from the food and shrug it off. "I'll be laying in bed, eating food whilst watching movies," I put my thumbs up.

Ty rolls his eyes at me and moves closer, he pats, no slaps my back. This for some reason causes the contents of this mornings breakfast to fly out onto the counter in front of me. Mum gasps and stands up, rushing to me. "Faye are you okay? Oh my god, was it the bacon?" She panics. "I just made our daughter sick," she states to dad.

"No mum, I'm fine," I insist. Nick helps me off my heigh chair and rubs my back in soothing circles, whilst Tyrese looks at me in worry.

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean for that to happen," he stresses, I wave him off and cough loudly.

"Someone clean this up please," mum asks the cleaners nicely. She takes over Nicks roll in helping me and leads me to my room. "Sit down on the bed and I'll run you a warm bath," she insists. I nod but only a moment later vomit my brains out again, she grabs a bucket and I hold onto it- tears leaking from my eyes as my stomach aches and so does my throat.

"What's wrong with me?" I groan to myself. Mum sits down next to me and rubs my back soothingly, I love the company of my mum. Especially when I'm sick and she can help me.

"We'll figure that out soon, just take a bath and I'll get you some nice, cold lemonade," I nod and walk into my bathroom, stripping on the way. I slid into the bath and rest back, feeling tired from my little vomiting episode. At least it's a distraction from thinking about Jake.



Mum reappears with a cold glass of iced lemonade and some fresh clothes, as well as a chair making me crack a small smile. She places it next to the bathtub and sits down next to me. "Mum," I croak out. She stops me and hands me the glass, I take a gulp to cool down my throat. "Mum, do you know about Tyrese?" I ask her.

She falters slightly, peering down at me with curious eyes. Has she gotten an idea that I know? Will she give me answers? She sets the glass onto the counter and sighs, running her hands over her face.

"What do you mean?" She questions, wanting to gather more information before assuming I know.

"I walked to my room. I decided to get fresh air, it was the night that I ended things with Jake. So I walked to my balcony and looked in Tyrese's car. He was there. Drugs displayed all over his lap. He was doing them, mum. Is that why he hasn't contacted me? Because you and dad told him not to right, you knew. You knew he had an addiction and you hid it from me, from Nick. How could you do that? He's family to me too, you know?" The tears fall one by one. I feel betrayed, hurt and lied too. There's so many lies. Too many.

"We couldn't tell you because we knew it would break you. Nick and your father went to visit him-" I cut her off there.

"NICK! He knew about it too? You all assume you know what's best for me when you clearly don't know a thing. It's not your secret to keep. I deserved to know. Instead you made me feel like he didn't care when dad got shot from my boyfriend, when Brock died, when I was heartbroken and needed him. You let me think that he didn't care! How could you?" I spit at her, feeling over emotional with the whole situation.

"I'm sorry, Faye. I really am sorry, we just assumed it was what was best for you. We wanted to protect you because we knew what state you were in and how destroyed you were."

I put my hand up, stopping her from dragging on her constant excuses. "we were all broken, mother. You and dad were more destroyed than ever. I could have helped Ty, has Amalia and Jarrad been helping him?" I ask.

She nods to me, "they're doing everything they can."

"Dad was in on this too?" I question.

"We didn't want you to be brought into that life. Your father didn't want any of you children to grow up how he did," I roll my eyes at her and scoff.

"You knew that I dated a guy in a gang, which meant I would have been exposed to those sort of things. Dad was a gang leader for peep sake! You're all so hypocritical and contradicting," the fact that my own brother knew of this too. He knew I considered Tyrese a best friend and he kept this from me. I could have been there for Ty, but I didn't have knowledge of this. His suffering hurts, he's always been there for me through my darkest times and it's time for me to be there for him.

"I was forced into your fathers life, Faye. I didn't get a say-" I cut her off.

"How could you love a man that forced you to be with him? How could you love a man that practically forced you to love him?" I exclaim. I can't fathom that's how my father treated my mother. We are not possessions. People don't just get to decide when they want and don't want us.

"I don't know!" She exclaims. "I hated him, okay? I really hated him. He murdered my brother, everyone just assumed I was okay with that but I never was. There was no funeral, no goodbye, nothing. He may have deserved what he got but he was still my brother, after your father explained everything it was like a switch went off in my brain. Valentino tried protecting me from the truth and that made me hate him. He didn't want me to remember my brother as the guy that brutally killed innocent people and touched people without consent. He made me enter a life of violence, drugs and killing. It was never a life I wanted for any of my children. You can never really explain why you fall in love with the people that you fall in love with. You don't get to decide who you love. So, I tried protecting you from that life but I guess it is all so contradicting in the end."

"What exactly happened after that?" I question.



"What?"

"I mean, where did you put your brothers body?"

She sighs, "they got him burnt and I'm just left with the ashes. Everything effects everything. Even though they did it cause Kane was a terrible person, it affected me. I didn't want this drug addiction to influence or effect you in any way."

I understand why they kept me from Tyrese. They didn't want me to become like him, people also do stupid things when they're under the influence. But it still hurts that I didn't know. "I get it," I simply respond. She smiles and stands up.

"Well, I'll let you finish up in here," I nod as she walks out of the room, leaving me to be in my own thoughts. I need to speak to Tyrese .
||
"So why are we out here exactly?" Tyrese asks me. "What did you want to talk about?" HES twiddling his fingers, a sign of nervousness making me sigh. If anything I'm more nervous than him.

"I know that you have a drug addiction, Tyrese."

He doesn't say anything, his mouth is left agape and he drops to the chair behind him. He covers his face with his hands and shakes his head to himself. "I'm sorry," he cries.

"Why, Tyrese? How did it start?"

He shrugs, "I don't know."

"What do you mean you don't know?" I snap at him. He huffs and crosses his arms over his chest, making me frown.

"I guess I was in a bad state from my girlfriend and I breaking up and everything else that was already going on at the time. I know I shouldn't have resorted to that but it just made me feel numb, which is what I wanted. I know you're disappointed in me," he sighs. "But I can't stop, Faye."

"You can," I assure him.

This makes him rolls his eyes, "it's not a switch that I can flip off in my brain. It's a serious thing." I sigh, doesn't he think that I know that? It's just complicated when you don't really know what to say. I know that what I say won't make anything better. It's disappointing but it's the truth.

"Just know that I'm here with you through this long journey," he nods and smiles at me.