CHAPTER 34:

"Mum, is this necessary?" I groan following behind her, multiple people wonder through the house with tables and decorations. Some people are over at tables outside, piling champagne glasses on each other elegantly. She proceeds to ignore me and instructs one of the workers to begin working on the pool area and set up games for children.

"Morning, babe," dad appears wrapping his arms around mums waist and kissing her on the lips.

"Dad have you told her that celebrating your anniversary nearly every year is most certainly not necessary," he gives me a look to silence me.

"Faye, it is our 20th anniversary, the number doesn't come around often these days. Have you seen how that chick who flirted with you whilst you had the street racing days, she just goes with every Tom, Dick and Harry and she's married to poor Joe. She has children too, hasnt even lasted at least 10 years," she shakes her head as if she is disappointed that their marriage didn't last.

"Remind me why you care? Joe found someone better, Will," dad laughs. Mum hits him and crosses her arms over her chest.

"She will most likely come for you again. I've watched her, she always has her eyes on you specifically. Watch when I disappear for one moment the leech will appear, she will try touching you and seducing you," dad encloses his arms around mums waist and kisses her cheek, he looks to me and shake my head.

"And you'd think I fall for her witchery?" he questions. "Babe, the reason why we are having another party is because we have been together for 20 years, remember?" He chuckles at her stupidness and shakes his head.

I sigh and walk away, knowing neither of them will detach themselves from each other. I guess 20 years is the big number, it's just that she likes to throw a big party every year to celebrate their marriage. Why doesn't she just do the 20th then goes in tens from there? It is a sweet gesture though, she loves informing people this way that her marriage hasnt failed, yet.

"Hey there sis," Nick appears out of nowhere, slinging his arm over my shoulder and pulling me close. Ty appears on the other side of me and I sigh, wondering what they want.

"What do you want?" I groan, throwing Nicks arms off me.

"Can't we just say hi without you assuming that we want something from you?" Nick pouts to me.


"Never, you always want something from me," they both scoff at me. "Whatever you want, the answer is no so leave me alone."

I quickly make my escape afterwards, dad appears next to me and shoves a black dress into my arms. I outstretch my arms to observe it and sigh, already knowing why he handed me this dress. One word. Mum. "Your mother wants you to wear this dress to the celebration tonight, she told- no, ordered me to give it to you."

"Right. You realise she could have given it to me herself?" I raise my eyebrows, he shrugs at me.

"She thought you'd fight her on it I guess. I don't know women, okay," I laugh and he walks off after he hears mum arguing about the type of flowers she wants outside the back. I don't see how It matters, but it clearly does to mum.

The hours pass, the decor is finally finished setting up and my dad is finally done being mums guinea pig. I sit in my dress in the corner, with the children and watch as everyone mingles with alcohol in their hands. I stare down at my phone, thinking to myself. How would our lives be if none of this shit had happened in the first place? How much happier would I be? I'm surrounded by people I dont know, there's hundreds of people here. I pretend to know them, but I dont. Brock would usually be here to keep my company, but he isn't so I have to sit here and endure thinking about him when he won't be coming back.

The sound of glass clinking makes everyone turn their heads to my parents. "Hello everyone, thank you for attending this special night with us once again. As you have heard, our youngest son has recently passed which has put a lot on family and close friends. But that only brought us all closer, life is precious and you can't waste it. You cant sit around waiting for the impossible to happen, Val and I have received the hard end of a lot of things. Im sure not many of you know how we first met, but its not a story to tell I guess. Love comes to you at crazy times, even when you try convincing yourself that it isn't real and you shouldn't love a specific person because of who they have been brought up to be. You dont get to decide who you love, you however get to make the decision to make yourself happy, or the people around you." My mother looks to me when saying this- "I say, always choose your own happiness, otherwise you'll end up regretting it for the rest of your life. I couldn't have done any of this without Valentino, he brought me amazing children and an amazing life. To love"

"To love," everyone repeats.

I think about what she just said, I over analyse it again and again but a justified conclusion doesn't come to me. What do I do? The sick feeling in my stomach comes to me again, making me run to the bathroom and spew up todays contents.

"You don't look too good," Ruby appears in the doorway. Ruby. I haven't seen her in weeks, I refused to. They all remind me of him. Jake. Remembering makes everything hurt, that feeling of being betrayed is a constant reminder of the people they really are. They do things only for them. I sit on the ground, my dress rising up my legs and most likely showing my underwear underneath but I dont care.

"What are you doing here?" I ask her.

"I thought all was good between us?" she questions me. I may have said that but not thing I hate is beef, I mean I can hold a grudge but I always seem to forgive people too easily who dont even deserve my forgiveness. I cant forget everything that happened, how they used me. I was a ploy.


"It is."

"Then why haven't you tried contacting any of us?" She asks. Why cant she just get the hint? I dont want her here, she reminds me of him. She reminds me of the pain. She brings back every memory of friendship, my real happiness and heartbreak.

"As you can see, I have been a little tied up with being sick and everything," I even point to the toilet I'm leaning against to further prove my point. She sighs and walks further into the bathroom, pulling my hair back for me. I try to not look at her, if I look at her I fear I will break into tears.

"I know what happened. I know you're trying to push us all away, I can understand that we hurt you and that you have forgotten that. You probably will never forgive us, but even Jakes heart wasn't in any of it. We all cared about you and I can understand how you're feeling, just please dont push me away," I look her in the eye for the first time since she has been in this bathroom.

"Are you kidding? Dont push you away? You did that all on your own sweetie. I trusted you all, I let you in and told you my deepest fears and darkest secrets. I never let anyone in! I trusted you wouldn't hurt me and let me down like everyone else did, yet you hurt me more than they ever could and did. I was your best friend Ruby, wait, no. You were just pretending, you were my best friend. But I wasn't anything to you. If you had a soul you wouldn't do that to anyone, and when you began to start really caring for them you would stop it all. I want you to leave my house, right now," it feels like this is all going in circles. Like I already told her this and attempted to forgive her but I just couldn't.

"I understand you want me to leave and I will, I just came to give you this letter. Then I will be gone, out of your hair, forever."

She bends down to give me a letter concealed within an envelope, on the envelope my name is written then 'Love Jake' is also written. Making me not want to open it. I stare down at it, not saying anything, I want to tear it up and throw it In the bin then proceed to pour milk over it. But I cant force myself to make that decision.

"You really did mean something to me, to all of us," she then turns away and walks away from me. Leaving me with the stupid letter the love of my life who broke my heart wrote me. And I continue to cry and vomit into the toilet bowl.