Memories That Hurt
I walked.
Past the nurses. Past the doctors whispering condolences I couldn’t even process.
I kept walking.
Through the sterile white halls of the hospital, past the cold fluorescent lights. My legs carried me forward, but my mind—my heart—was stuck in that room.
Stuck with Claire.
With the beeping of the machines.
With the sound of her breath slowing.
With the way her lips formed my name one last time before she was gone.
I didn’t even realize where I was going until I found myself outside, the cool night air hitting my face like a slap.
It was quiet out here.
Too quiet.
I wrapped my arms around myself, shaking.
My vision blurred, the world around me becoming a haze of streetlights and passing cars.
And then—
The first sob broke free.
It came from deep inside, raw and aching.
My knees buckled, and I pressed my back against the cold wall of the hospital, sliding down until I was sitting on the pavement.
And I cried.
I cried like I never had before.
The kind of crying that came from losing a part of yourself.
The kind that left you gasping for breath, like you were drowning in your own grief.
The kind that never truly stopped, even when the tears eventually dried.
Because how could I live in a world where Claire wasn’t?
How could I breathe, knowing she never would again?
My fingers curled around the bracelet still clutched in my palm.
I brought it to my chest, gripping it so tightly I thought it might shatter.
Memories crashed over me like waves—
Claire, laughing, throwing popcorn at me in our dorm room.
Claire, holding my hand after a failed exam, saying it wasn’t the end of the world.
Claire, grinning as she twirled in a new dress, demanding I tell her she looked gorgeous.
Claire, whispering “I’m so proud of you” when I got my medical license.
Claire, holding my twins for the first time, tears in her eyes as she said, “You’re going to be the best mom.”
A strangled sob escaped me.
She was supposed to be here.
She was supposed to stay.
She was supposed to watch the twins grow up, to stand beside me through every step of my life like she always had.
But now…
Now there was just silence.
An emptiness so deep it felt like my soul had been ripped open.
The pain was unbearable.
I pressed my forehead to my knees, my body trembling.
I had lost so much in my life.
Too much.
But this—
This was the worst of all.
Because Claire wasn’t just my best friend.
She was my family.
And now, I had to figure out how to live without her.
And I didn’t know how.
I sat on the cold pavement, clutching Claire’s bracelet so tightly it felt like a part of me.
The night air was crisp, but I barely felt it.
Everything inside me was hollow.
Like a piece of me had been ripped away, leaving nothing but an open wound.
I closed my eyes, squeezing them shut, trying to block out the pain.
But instead—
Memories flooded in.
\---
Eight Years Ago – University Dorms
“Remi, if you don’t turn off that damn alarm, I swear to God—”
I groaned, blindly slapping at my phone. “It’s five minutes,” I mumbled into my pillow.
“Five minutes my ass.”
Something soft smacked me in the face.
I bolted upright, glaring. “Did you just throw a bra at me?”
Claire stood at the foot of my bed, arms crossed, her hair a mess. “You’re lucky it wasn’t my shoe,” she grumbled.
I tossed the bra back at her. “You’re disgusting.”
She caught it effortlessly, grinning. “And you, my dear roommate, are insufferable.”
I flopped back onto my pillow, groaning. “Why do you even care? You don’t have class until noon.”
Claire huffed. “Because some of us actually value our beauty sleep, Dr. Laurent.”
I cracked an eye open. “You’re not a doctor yet either, Whitaker. You don't need sleep.”
She smirked, throwing herself dramatically onto my bed. “Yeah, but I will be the hottest lawyer alive. You, on the other hand, will be stuck in a hospital wearing ugly scrubs forever.”
I snorted, shoving her off my bed. “Get out.”
She landed on the floor with a thud.
A moment of silence.
Then—
Claire’s uncontrollable laughter echoed through the dorm.
\---
Another Memory followed after that.
“Remi.”
I didn’t look up from my notes.
“Remiii.”
Still, I ignored her.
“Remi, I am dying.”
I sighed, finally glancing up.
Claire had her head on the table, her textbook wide open, completely untouched.
I narrowed my eyes. “What now?”
“I hate Constitutional Law.”
I rolled my eyes. “You hate everything.”
Claire groaned. “No, but this? This is hell. Who cares about some old dead guys and their stupid laws?”
I smirked, tapping my pen against my notebook. “Well, seeing as you’re studying to be a lawyer, I’d say you should care.”
She sat up, scowling. “You’re the worst.”
I grinned. “And yet, here you are, distracting me from my work.”
Claire sighed dramatically, then slid a coffee toward me.
I raised a brow. “What’s this?”
“A bribe,” she said. “Tutor me for an hour, and I won’t complain for the rest of the day.”
I stared at her, unimpressed. “You’ll be whining again in ten minutes.”
Claire gasped, clutching her chest. “How dare you?”
I snorted, taking the coffee anyway.
“Fine,” I said, flipping her book open. “But if I hear one complaint, I’m leaving you to fail.”
Claire beamed. “You’re the best.”
\---
Another Memory – The Night Before Graduation
The dorm was a mess.
Pizza boxes. Empty soda cans. Books everywhere.
Claire was lying on the floor, her arms spread out like she’d been dramatically murdered.
I sat on my bed, staring at her. “Are you okay?”
“No,” she whined. “I’m twenty-two, and I still don’t know what I’m doing with my life.”
I rolled my eyes. “You literally have a job lined up at one of the best law firms.”
She groaned. “That’s not the point, Remi.”
I sighed, closing my book. “Then what is the point?”
Claire sat up, serious now. “We’re leaving.”
I blinked. “Uh… yeah?”
“No, I mean this.” She gestured wildly around us. “Our room. Our little bubble. After tomorrow, it’s over.”
I swallowed.
Because she was right.
No more late-night study sessions.
No more movie marathons with cheap wine.
No more us, just the two of us against the world.
Claire smiled, but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Promise me, no matter where life takes us, we’ll always have each other.”
I gripped her hand.
And I meant it.
“Always.”
\---
Present Day
A choked sob ripped through me.
My fingers curled around her bracelet, shaking.
Always.
I promised.
I fucking promised.
And now she was gone.
I pressed my forehead to my knees, my body trembling.
I couldn’t do this.
I couldn’t breathe.
The grief was suffocating, curling around my ribs like a vice.
I
needed her.
I needed my Claire.
But she wasn’t coming back.
Ever.
The realization hit me like a train, and I broke.
I sobbed.
Hard.
Loud.
Like my soul had been ripped out of my body.
The world blurred.
And for the first time in years—
I felt completely alone.
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