To Be Alive
Rowan was still sleeping, and it was becoming cold outside. I needed herbs, and we needed a fire.
I only had information on herbs. Some little information here and there from making fire.
Then again…
How do I even get wood?
I sighed, running my hand through my hair.
My body ached, exhaustion pulling at me, but I couldn’t rest yet. Not when he was still unconscious. Not when we were stuck in the middle of nowhere with no guarantee of rescue.
I glanced at Rowan’s face. He was pale—too pale—but his chest rose and fell steadily. That was something.
I stood up, stretching my sore limbs.
“Alright,” I muttered to myself. “Fire first.”
I stepped out of the cave, scanning the area. There were fallen branches nearby, some damp but others dry enough to work. I grabbed as many as I could carry, returning to our shelter.
Carefully, I rebuilt the fire, coaxing the flames until warmth spread through the cave.
One problem down.
Now for the herbs.
I hesitated. Leaving wasn’t a good idea. Rowan was unconscious, vulnerable. But if his fever spiked, if the wound got worse—
I needed something.
I exhaled sharply, pressing my fingers against my temple.
“Five minutes,” I whispered to myself. “In and out.”
I stood, brushing the dirt off my hands.
Just as I turned toward the entrance, a weak voice stopped me.
“Running away already, Doctor?”
I spun around.
Rowan’s eyes were barely open, his expression hazy but there.
Relief hit me so hard my knees almost buckled.
“You’re awake.” I rushed to him, kneeling beside him. “How do you feel?”
He gave me a weak smirk. “Like I fought a bear.”
I rolled my eyes. “You did fight a bear, idiot.”
His smirk didn’t last. His face twisted as he shifted slightly, a sharp breath leaving him.
I steadied him, placing a hand against his shoulder. “Don’t move too much.”
He swallowed hard, glancing at the fire. “How long… was I out?”
“A few hours.”
His eyes flickered toward me. “And you stayed?”
I frowned. “Of course, I stayed.”
His gaze softened. “You didn’t have to.”
“Shut up, Vaughn,” I muttered. “I wasn’t about to let you bleed out in the middle of nowhere.”
He let out a rough chuckle, but it turned into a grimace.
I reached for my torn shirt, gently pressing it against his wound. He flinched.
“You cauterized it?” he asked, his voice slightly hoarse.
I nodded. “It was the only way.”
He exhaled slowly. “You saved me.”
I didn’t respond.
Because I didn’t want to think about the fact that, for a moment, I really thought I’d lose him.
Rowan’s gaze flickered to my face. “You look like hell.”
I huffed a small laugh. “Yeah, well, I’ve been busy keeping your ass alive.”
His lips twitched. “Appreciate it.”
I shook my head. “Rest, Vaughn.”
His eyelids drooped slightly, but before he closed them completely, he whispered, “Don’t run away while I sleep.”
I swallowed, looking away.
“I won’t.”
—
I had to leave.
Only for a little while.
Rowan was stable for now, but his body was weak, his skin burning hot. I needed herbs anything to keep the fever down before it got worse.
I had seen some plants on the way to the cave, ones I thought might be useful. But my knowledge was limited. I was a surgeon, not an herbalist.
Still, I had to try.
I grabbed the knife he’d used to kill the bear—it was the only weapon I had—and stepped out into the forest.
The air was crisp, the sky darkening as night crept in. I moved quickly, collecting anything that looked remotely medicinal.
Minutes passed. Then more.
I didn’t realize how far I’d wandered until I looked up.
Shit.
I turned, my pulse quickening. The trees all looked the same, the path back completely blurred in my mind.
Breathe, Remi. Think.
Then I saw it.
The bear’s corpse.
My stomach clenched.
It was massive, its fur matted with dried blood. Flies buzzed around it, the metallic scent thick in the air.
It was disgusting.
But it was food.
Rowan was losing blood. He needed meat, something to rebuild his strength.
I tightened my grip on the knife, stepping closer.
I’d never hunted before. Never skinned an animal.
But this wasn’t about comfort. It was about survival.
I swallowed my nausea and went to work.
Just imagine it's a a brain surgery.
Easy right?
Not.
—
By the time I made it back, my arms were sore, my hands stained.
The herbs were clutched tightly in one fist, and in the other—a piece of the bear, carefully wrapped in large leaves.
Relief flooded me as the cave came into view.
Then I saw the fire.
It was too big. The flames flickered wildly, dangerously close to the walls.
And Rowan—weak, barely conscious—was struggling to sit up beside it.
My heart dropped.
“What the hell are you doing?” I shouted.
His head snapped toward me, his face tense with effort.
“I thought… fire was dying,” he muttered, his voice strained.
I rushed forward, setting down my things. “And you thought this was a good idea?”
He exhaled shakily, slumping back. “Didn’t think… you’d take so long.”
I groaned, forcing myself to breathe before I lost my temper.
This man was going to be the death of me.
“Next time,” I snapped, “don’t try to set yourself on fire just because you’re impatient.”
Rowan let out a weak chuckle. “Not my best idea.”
“No. It wasn’t.” I knelt beside him, checking his wound. The skin around the burn looked angry and red, but at least the bleeding had stopped. He was still pale, though, his lips dry.
“We need to get you food,” I muttered.
“I can help.”
I shot him a sharp glare. “No, you can’t.”
He smirked like he found my frustration amusing. “You sure? I make a mean roast.”
“You can barely sit up without falling over. Stay.”
Rowan raised a hand in surrender. “Alright, Doctor. No sudden movements.”
I sighed, rolling my shoulders. Then my stomach dropped.
“I forgot water.”
His head tilted slightly. “There’s some inside the cave.”
I frowned. “What?”
Rowan weakly pointed toward the far end of the cave. “Over there. Saw it earlier.”
I followed his gaze—and my breath hitched.
There, tucked between the jagged rocks, was a small stream. The water trickled softly, catching the dim light from the fire.
And in it—tiny flecks of something shimmered.
Gold? Minerals?
I didn’t know. And frankly, I didn’t care.
We had water.
“Wow,” I murmured, walking over. I dipped my hands into the cool liquid, relief washing over me.
This would help.
As the meat roasted over the fire, I crushed the herbs carefully, making a paste. Rowan watched me, his tired eyes following every movement.
“You’re good at this,” he murmured.
I wiped the sweat from my forehead. “I did survive med school.”
He chuckled, the sound r
ough but genuine. “That’s not what I meant.”
I glanced at him. He was still pale, still weak—but there was something in his expression. Something I wasn’t ready to name.
So I ignored it.
And focused on keeping both of us alive.
Log in with Google Account
Chapters
Favorite
Settings
