All In The Past
"We were flying the plane," Larry said proudly, even as the toy’s propeller dangled sadly to one side.
I shook my head, biting back a smile. "At midnight?"
"Technically," Larry said seriously, "it’s not midnight yet. You're just over exaggerating."
I ruffled his hair, smiling for real this time. Their energy was a balm I didn’t realize I needed after the emotional storm Victoria had brought in.
I took then back downstairs before they do could anything crazier than I want. When I glanced up, Victoria was still seated stiffly, her hands tightening and then loosening on the arms of the chair. But something in her face had changed. It softened in a way I wasn’t prepared for.
She stood slowly, smoothing the front of her wrinkled blouse. Her eyes lingered on the twins, something like regret or longing flashing through them.
"They’re beautiful," she said quietly.
I rose carefully, Laura still clinging to my side, Larry standing stubbornly at my hip.
Victoria stepped toward us, moving cautiously like she was afraid she might spook me. She knelt briefly, her old knees creaking with the effort, and smiled at Larry and Laura with a sadness that made my chest ache.
"They’re lucky to have you," she said softly, her voice catching.
Neither of the twins seemed to really understand what was happening, but Laura offered her a shy, gap-toothed smile anyway.
Victoria's eyes shined with tears again, but this time she didn’t let them fall. She straightened slowly, brushing imaginary dust from her hands.
"I should go," she said, her voice rough. "I... I've said too much already. And not enough."
I didn’t stop her.
I didn’t know if I could.
Victoria looked at me one last time, her mouth opening like she wanted to say more. But then she just smiled faintly, a ghost of the woman she used to be—or maybe the woman she could’ve been, if life hadn’t twisted us all so cruelly.
"Goodbye, Remi," she said, voice barely above a whisper.
And then she slipped quietly out of the front door, the sound of it clicking shut behind her echoing too loudly in the suddenly still house.
I stood there frozen, one arm wrapped tightly around Laura, Larry gripping my other hand, all of us watching the empty doorway she left behind.
And for a long, heavy moment, I couldn't move.
The house was too quiet, the only sound the soft hum of the air conditioning and Laura’s tiny breathing against my side. My mind spun with everything Victoria had said—and everything she hadn't.
“Mummy,” Laura whispered, tugging at my shirt, “who was that?”
I glanced down at her innocent face, those wide curious eyes blinking up at me.
“No one,” I said softly, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. "Just someone from a long time ago."
Larry tilted his head, studying me like he knew I was holding something back, but he didn’t push. He never did. He was too much like me—quiet, observant, cautious about poking wounds he didn’t fully understand.
I forced a smile and ruffled both their heads. "Come on. Let’s get ready. There’s somewhere I want to take you."
"Where?" Larry asked, holding tighter to my hand as we moved toward the stairs.
"You'll see," I said, my voice gentler than I felt.
\---
It didn’t take long to pack a few things into the car. I grabbed a small bouquet of white flowers from the kitchen—the only kind my mother ever loved—and made sure the twins were buckled in securely.
The drive was quiet. Laura hummed softly to herself in the backseat, playing with a worn stuffed bunny. Larry stared out the window, his little brow furrowed in thought.
I kept my hands tight on the steering wheel, focusing on the road ahead even as my stomach twisted into tighter knots the closer we got.
The cemetery wasn’t far—hidden in the older part of town, quiet and overgrown with trees that bent low like they were bowing in respect to the dead.
I pulled into the narrow lot and cut the engine, sitting there for a second, just breathing.
"You guys okay?" I asked, forcing cheer into my voice as I turned to them.
Larry nodded solemnly. Laura blinked up at me, smiling slightly. "Are we visiting someone?"
"Yeah," I said, voice soft. "Someone very important."
I climbed out, the twins following closely, their small hands reaching instinctively for mine. I held onto them tightly as we made our way through the winding rows of gravestones.
The path was quiet, the world muted by the hush of the trees and the thick summer air.
We stopped in front of two modest headstones—worn but lovingly maintained. My mother’s name carved into one, my father’s into the other.
I knelt slowly, setting the bouquet down between them.
Larry and Laura stood back quietly, sensing the importance of the moment.
I reached out, tracing the carved letters with my fingertips. The familiar sting of grief rose up again, fresh despite the years that had passed.
"Hi, Mom," I whispered, my throat tightening. "Hi, Dad."
The wind stirred slightly, brushing through the trees, and I closed my eyes briefly.
"I brought the kids," I continued, voice barely steady. "Your grandchildren."
Laura shifted shyly behind me, hiding a little behind my arm. Larry stood tall, his face serious.
"They’re beautiful," I said, tears burning behind my eyes. "And smart. And brave."
I swallowed thickly, pressing my palm flat against the cool stone. "I wish you could have met them."
I sat there quietly, the weight of the moment settling deep into my bones.
I wanted to say more—to tell them about everything, about Rowan, about the chaos Victoria had dropped on my doorstep—but the words felt too heavy.
Instead, I stayed there in silence, letting my presence speak what my voice couldn’t.
After a while, Larry knelt beside me, looking up at the gravestones. "This was your mummy and daddy?"
"Yes, baby," I said softly, brushing his hair back.
He looked thoughtful for a moment. "Do you miss them?"
"Every day," I whispered.
He nodded like he understood, even though I knew he couldn't fully yet.
Laura sat on my other side, resting her head lightly against my arm.
"We love you, Mummy," she said quietly.
I smiled through the tears slipping down my cheeks, wrapping one arm around each of them. "I love you both so much."
The three of us stayed there for a long time, just breathing, just being.
Finally, when the sun started to dip lower in the sky, I rose to my feet, brushing the grass from my knees.
"Come on," I said, squeezing their hands gently. "Let’s go home."
We turned back toward the path, the heavy weight in my chest easing just a little as I looked at them—my kids, my future.
Whatever the past held... whatever Victoria's half-truths hinted at...
I knew one thing for sure:
I wasn't going back.
I was only moving forward. So id I did have a real father alive he would find me.
My childhood wasn't a lie but it's a shame that I had to suffer from the moment she died due to my mother's decisions.
But oh well, it's all in the past.
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