Enjoy Yourself
I didn’t know how to answer him.
So I didn’t.
I just stared into my coffee, watching the steam rise as if it held the answer to everything.
Asher sighed beside me, shifting slightly on the couch. “How are you holding up?”
I let out a breath. “I’m…getting through it.”
“And Claire’s burial?”
I swallowed hard, gripping the cup tighter. “Next week. Her mother is handling most of it. I just—” I shook my head. “I just show up where I’m needed.”
His gaze softened. “That’s not true. You were there for her, Remi. Through everything. You are like her second family.”
I huffed, my throat tightening. “And look where it got me. She’s gone, and I couldn’t do a damn thing to stop it.”
Silence.
Then, quietly—“That’s not on you.”
I laughed bitterly, shaking my head. “Yeah? Feels like it.”
Asher didn’t argue.
Because he knew me.
He knew that no amount of words would make me feel less responsible for Claire’s death.
He took a sip of his coffee, his voice softer this time. “And the kids? How are they holding up?”
I sighed, rubbing my forehead. “They don’t know the details. Just that Auntie Claire isn’t coming home. Laura keeps asking why people die. Larry’s been quieter than usual.”
He nodded slowly. “And Rowan?”
I froze.
He wasn’t looking at me, but I knew that was intentional.
I let out a sharp breath, leaning back into the couch. “I don’t know.”
He raised an eyebrow. “You don’t know?”
“No, Asher, I don’t.” I set my coffee down harder than necessary. “I haven’t seen him since…since he found out.”
His expression darkened slightly. “Good. Maybe he’ll finally understand what it feels like to lose something important.”
I shot him a warning look. “That’s not fair.”
“Isn’t it?” Asher scoffed. “He had you. He had a family. And he threw it away. I don’t care if he lost his memory, if he wants to work hard to get you back, that's if he ever, Remi—he made a choice back then. And now, he has to live with it. I”
I exhaled sharply, rubbing my temples. “It’s not that simple.”
“It never is with him.”
I didn’t respond.
Because honestly?
I didn’t have the energy to argue.
We sat in silence for a moment before Asher spoke again.
“And your research? How’s that going?”
I let out a hollow laugh. “Exhausting. The funding. The investors. The constant pressure to get results. It never stops.”
He studied me. “So quit.”
I blinked. “What?”
He shrugged. “If it’s making you miserable, quit. Step back. Take a break. Do something for yourself for once.”
I let out another bitter laugh, shaking my head. “You say that like it’s an option. Like I can just drop everything and walk away.”
“Why can’t you?”
I clenched my jaw. “Because this is what I built. This is what I worked for. And if I stop now—”
“Then what? You finally get to breathe? You finally get to live?”
His words hit me harder than I wanted them to.
Because the truth was—
I didn’t know what my life looked like without the constant weight of responsibility.
And that terrified me.
I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose. “I’m tired, Asher.”
He studied me, tilting his head slightly. “Have you ever thought about doing something else?”
I frowned. “Like what?”
He shrugged. “I don’t know. Something that doesn’t involve you running yourself into the ground.”
I scoffed. “Asher, my entire life has been work. If I stop, then what?”
His gaze softened. “Maybe… you find something else. Something that makes you happy.”
I let out a hollow laugh, shaking my head. “And what the hell would that be?”
He smirked slightly. “Love.”
I went still.
“Asher—”
“I’m serious, Remi. When was the last time you did something just for yourself? When was the last time you even considered letting someone in?”
I frowned, gripping my coffee cup tighter. “This isn’t about love. That’s not my priority.”
“Because you won’t let it be.”
I glared at him. “Oh, don’t start.”
He held up his hands. “I’m just saying. I’ve known you for a long time. And in all that time, you’ve always been a workaholic. Always running, always carrying everything on your shoulders.”
I exhaled sharply. “I need to get back to work.”
“No, you don’t.”
I stared at him, blinking. “What?”
He smirked, reaching out and taking my hand. “Come on, let me make your day.”
I frowned. “Asher—”
“No excuses.” He squeezed my hand. “Let’s go.”
I stared at him, debating, conflicted.
Then, finally, I sighed.
“…Fine.”
****
I didn’t know how it happened.
One minute, Asher was dragging me out of the cafe and the next—
I was screaming as we raced down the streets on his motorcycle.
“Asher, I swear to God!” I gripped his waist tightly, my heart pounding as the city lights blurred past us.
His laughter rang out, completely unbothered. “Relax, Laurent! Live a little!”
“This is not living! This is a near-death experience!”
He only laughed harder.
And despite myself—despite the insanity of this whole thing—
I found myself grinning.
The wind rushed against my face, the cool night air whipping through my hair.
It was reckless. It was stupid.
But for the first time in forever—
I felt free.
\---
An Hour Later….
“A carnival, Asher? Really?”
I stared at the bright lights ahead, the sounds of laughter and excitement filling the air.
Asher grinned, pocketing his keys. “What? You think fun has an age limit?”
I sighed, crossing my arms. “I have work tomorrow.”
“You always have work tomorrow.” He grabbed my wrist, tugging me forward. “Come on. You need this.”
I opened my mouth to argue—
But then my eyes caught sight of something.
Cotton candy.
Pink. Fluffy. Sugar in its purest form.
My resolve crumbled instantly.
“Fine. But I’m getting that.”
Asher followed my gaze and laughed. “Figures. Let’s go.”
\---
Thirty Minutes Later – Game Booths
I pointed dramatically at the massive teddy bear hanging from the booth. “I want it.”
Asher snorted. “You do realize carnival games are rigged, right?”
I turned to him, raising an eyebrow. “So, what? You’re giving up before you even try?”
He scoffed, rolling up his sleeves. “Alright, Laurent. Watch and learn.”
\---
Fifteen failed attempts later—
I held back a laugh as Asher glared at the stack of bottles, the plastic ball still in his hand.
“This game is bullshit,” he muttered.
The booth attendant smirked. “Try again, sir?”
Asher turned to me. “I have spent twenty dollars on this rigged-ass game.”
I grinned, taking the ball from him. “Let me try.”
He snorted. “Please. Like you’re gonna—”
CRASH.
The bottles tumbled down instantly.
The attendant blinked. “Uh…congratulations.”
I smirked, turning to Asher. “What were you saying?”
He stared at me.
Then, flatly—
“I’m never taking you anywhere again.”
I laughed.
And this time—
It felt real.
\---
Later
We sat on the hood of his motorcycle, the carnival lights twinkling behind us.
The night sky stretched above, a blanket of stars so clear, so endless, it almost didn’t seem real.
Asher exhaled, leaning back on his elbows. “You know, when I was a kid, I thought stars were just little holes poked through the sky.”
I chuckled, hugging my knees. “Really?”
“Yeah. I figured heaven was too bright, so they covered it with a giant black sheet and poked holes to let the light through.”
I smiled, tilting my head up. “That’s…weirdly poetic.”
He sighed, staring up at the sky. “I used to come out to places like this a lot. Just to think. To get away from everything.”
I glanced at him. “And now?”
He smiled, but there was something soft in his expr
ession.
“Now, I think I like it better with company.”
I didn’t know what to say to that.
So I said nothing.
I just sat there, letting the silence wrap around us, the stars twinkling above—
And for the first time in a long, long time—
I let myself enjoy it.
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