Traumatic Past
His lips pressed together. “I need to.”
“What of if…it changes you?”
Rowan chuckled, “It would still be…me. Just me with less business as memories and more of…remembering those years that's just blank in my head. I don't mind if it would change me. I doubt it would. There is just something about…almost seeing death twice that changes you one way or the other.”
I looked down at my meat that I haven't touched.
It didn’t have spices. Felt like throwing up but pushing through because I didn't have a choice.
Rowan surprisingly kept on eating. He looked as if she had not eaten for years.
Well he did lose a lot of blood.
Silence stretched between us, the fire casting shadows across his sharp features.
Then, unexpectedly, he let out a dry laugh.
“What?” I asked.
Rowan shook his head. “It’s strange. I can’t remember things that should matter—like the accident, or even parts of my past—but I remember feeling like this before.”
I tilted my head. “Like what?”
He hesitated. “Like everything’s slipping through my fingers and I am the one causing it. I am the catalyst as always.”
My chest tightened.
I’d felt that before too.
Rowan leaned back against the cave wall, eyes flickering toward the ceiling. “You know… losing my memory wasn’t the first time I lost something.”
I stayed quiet, sensing something deeper beneath his words.
“My parents were murdered when I was a kid,” he said, voice low.
I inhaled sharply. “Rowan—”
“I don’t remember much about them,” he continued, cutting me off. “Just fragments. My father’s watch. My mother’s perfume. And then one day, they were gone.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I… I had no idea. I thought…”
He let out a humorless chuckle. “Most people don’t. The Vaughn family keeps things quiet. I was adopted. They had no other way of having children. And they did not want a surrogate. So here I am. They raised me… and made me who I am. I guess.”
I hesitated before asking, “What happened?”
Rowan’s gaze darkened. “They were kidnapped. Held for ransom. My grandfather refused to pay. We did not have money then..”
A chill ran through me.
“And by the time he did try,” Rowan continued, voice tight, “it was too late.”
I exhaled shakily, unsure what to say.
“I was twelve.” His fingers curled into fists. “One day, I had a family. The next, I didn’t.”
My heart ached for him.
For the boy who had lost everything.
For the man who still carried that loss.
I reached out before I could stop myself, placing a hand over his.
He flinched slightly, as if surprised.
Then, after a moment, he relaxed.
“You never talk about this, do you?” I murmured.
He let out a slow breath. “No.”
“Why?”
His lips twisted. “Because people don’t care. They just see the Vaughn name. The money. The power. No one gives a damn about the past. No one cares if you were just a kid randomly picked from an orphanage and tested to see if you would make a good heir and trained, beaten, turned into being someone you never wer.”
I did. I cared. I never knew he went through so much.
He was so rude narcissistic. And annoying that I never really cared to know about him.
Oh Rowan.
But I didn’t say it out loud.
Instead, I squeezed his hand gently.
For a long moment, neither of us spoke.
Then Rowan glanced at me. “What about you?”
I frowned. “What about me?”
His gaze softened. “What was it like for you? Being a single mother.”
I inhaled slowly, pulling my hand back. “Hard.”
Rowan didn’t look away. “Tell me.”
I hesitated, but something about the way he was looking at me made it impossible to shut him out.
So I told him.
About working three jobs. About the exhaustion, the fear of failing. About holding my babies in my arms at night, promising them that things would get better—even when I didn’t believe it myself.
Rowan listened.
Not just heard me.
But listened.
When I finished, he exhaled, shaking his head. “You’re stronger than I thought. Shane the father did not realize that.”
I huffed a small laugh.
If only you know.
I smirked. “What, did you think I was weak?”
His lips curled into something softer than a smirk. “No. But I didn’t realize just how much you’ve carried.”
I swallowed. “Well… now you do.”
Silence stretched again, but this time, it wasn’t awkward.
It was something else.
Something warm.
Something dangerous.
I suddenly realized how close we were.
Again.
Rowan’s eyes flickered down to my lips.
My breath hitched.
For a moment, just a moment, I thought—
No.
I turned away abruptly. “Fire. Thee fire. ”
Rowan didn’t say anything, but I felt his eyes on me as I crouched by the fire. My hands were steady as I pulled apart the roasted bear meat, dividing it into portions. The warmth from the fire barely touched the cold creeping into my bones.
I kept it aside, hopefully for tomorrow.
I handed Rowan another share without looking at him.
He took it, exhaling slowly. “You’re avoiding me.”
I scoffed, going back to my meal and forcing myself to finally eat, ripping a piece of meat with my teeth. “I’m feeding you.”
“Uh-huh.”
I ignored him, chewing in silence. The meat was tough but edible. More importantly, it would give us the strength we needed to get out of here. If we could get out of here.
Rowan groaned as he shifted, adjusting himself against the cave wall. I glanced at him. His wound wasn’t bleeding anymore, but his skin was still pale.
“You need to rest,” I muttered.
“I will.” He took another bite, chewing slowly.
Outside, the wind howled through the trees. A low rumble rolled across the sky.
I frowned. “Was that—”
Thunder.
A second later, the rain started.
Not a drizzle.
A downpour.
Water hit the ground in heavy sheets, drumming against the earth, soaking the trees, filling the air with the thick scent of wet soil and burning wood.
I pulled my knees to my chest, wrapping my arms around them. “Great.”
Rowan let out a breath. “Looks like we’re not going anywhere tonight.”
I stared at the rain, frustration curling in my stomach. “I wonder if we even can leave.”
Rowan wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Let’s think about it tomorrow.”
I turned to him. “Did you see anyone? Before I woke up?”
He shook his head. “No one.”
My stomach sank.
We weren’t just lost. We were alone.
I rubbed my face. “How did we even survive?”
Rowan exhaled, stretching his legs slightly. “You were unconscious when I woke up.” His voice was even, matter-of-fact. “You had a nasty cut on your head, some bruised ribs. You were breathing, but you didn’t wake up when I called you.”
I swallowed. “So what did you do?”
His gaze flickered to the fire. “I checked for other survivors. I didn’t find any.”
A heavy silence settled between us.
Rowan’s voice was quieter when he spoke again. “I dragged you away from the wreckage. Found the sand. Then the bear showed up. I tried to lead it away then I got lose until I heard your shout..”
I winced. “Right.”
His lips twitched, just barely. “Yeah. That part wasn’t fun.”
I studied him. “And you still managed to fight it off?”
He shrugged, but I saw the way his fingers tightened around his makeshift bandage. “Adrenaline is a hell of a thing.”
I shook my head, chewing on my lip. “You should’ve left me.”
Rowan’s head snapped toward me. “Excuse me?”
“You were injured, Rowan. You could’ve—”
“I wasn’t going to leave you.” His voice was sharp, cutting through the air like a blade.
I stared at him.
For a moment, neither of us spoke.
The fire crackled between us, the rain hammering outside.
Then he exhaled, rubbing his forehead. “Look. I don’t know how long we’re going to be stuck here. But I do know I need to have this airplane issue checked the second we get back.”
I frowned. “You think something was wrong with the plane?”
Rowan’s expression da
rkened. “I know something was wrong.”
His words sent a chill through me.
I swallowed, my voice quiet. “What if this wasn’t an accident?”
His gaze met mine.
A beat of silence.
Then he said, “That’s exactly what I’m thinking.”
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