Reminiscing About The Past
My fingers lifted to my lips. I pressed them gently against the skin, remembering how he kissed me like he needed it just to breathe.
“I still love him,” I whispered to the dark. “That's why it's so hard to…fall for someone else. That's why I can't even open my heart…to Asher. I can't. Not when Rowan is like a tattoo on it.”
The words came out like a betrayal.
To myself.
To everything I’d endured.
But it was the truth.
Not the version of him I knew before, but this version. This man who looked at me with softness and not disdain. This Rowan made me laugh. This Rowan watched me like he actually saw me.
I bit my lip, hard. “Stupid. You’re so stupid, Remi.”
There was a knock on the door.
I bolted upright.
My heart raced. “Yes?”
No answer.
Just silence.
I hesitated, then got up and cracked it open. The hallway was empty. Only the echo of wind through the rafters.
But at my feet—
A cup of warm tea.
Still steaming.
And a folded note beneath it.
I picked it up, hands trembling slightly.
> I know I’m not who you need me to be yet. But I’m trying. Sleep well.
—R
I stared at the paper, then at the tea.
Of course he would leave this and not wait. Of course he wouldn’t press.
He was doing everything right now, wasn’t he?
And I was still afraidlike a coward.
I brought the tea inside, curled up beneath the covers, and stared at the ceiling again. I didn’t even sip it. I just held it. Let it warm my fingers.
I wished he hadn’t kissed me. I wished I hadn’t kissed him back.
I wished I didn’t wish for more.
But as the minutes ticked by, I knew sleep wouldn’t come easily.
My body was still buzzing. My mind replayed the kiss over and over again, how soft his lips were, how warm his hands had been. How gently he’d touched me, like I wasn’t something to be used—but something to be kept.
And damn it, I wanted more. I wanted to go to his room, kiss him, suck on his lower lips. Let him know how much I need him, how much my heart still needs him.
I shifted on the bed, pressing my back against the headboard as I held the tea close to my face. The steam warming it up. I curled my feet into the blanket, hugging it close like it could muffle the feelings crawling through my chest.
Was it wrong to crave something that once broke you?
Was it weakness to miss a man who had once made you feel invisible?
I squeezed my eyes shut. I hated how confused I felt. I hated that part of me still wanted him to come through that door, press his forehead against mine, and ask for another chance.
I hated how easy it would be to say yes.
No one ever told you how hard it was to love someone after they hurt you. To remember every word, every look, every night spent wondering what you’d done wrong—and still want them anyway.
I thought about the twins.
About how they looked at him. How they wanted handsome uncle so bad.
About how they liked him without even knowing why.
Because maybe, even with the memory loss, some part of Rowan knew them. Loved them. Was drawn to them instinctively.
I turned again, frustrated, cheeks damp.
Maybe that was the cruelest part.
He forgot everything.
And I remembered all of it.
That was the imbalance.
That was why I couldn’t forgive easily.
Because I was still living with ghosts.
And he?
He was just learning how to walk among them.
My fingers brushed my lips once more.
I closed my eyes and whispered into the dark.
“I wish I never met you Rowan. I really wish so. Or maybe I wished I met you under different circumstances.”
But the silence had no answers.
I was just a confused, tired, emotionally drained woman.
Rowan's POV
The silence in the cabin felt heavier than the storm had ever been.
I sat on the edge of the bed, elbows on my knees, staring at nothing. The lamp beside me flickered once, then steadied, casting long shadows across the wooden floor
My room was quiet. Not like I expected anything else though.
It was the kind of quiet that creeps into your chest and stays there.
Even though the room was quiet and calm, my mind wasn't.
Remi hadn’t said goodnight.
Not that I expected her to. I knew she wanted to avoid me but she had given into the room without warning up her hands enough, hence the tea.
Hopefully she drinks it and not think I poisoned it to sleep with her after.
I would never do that. But she thinks the worse of me.
I dragged a hand through my hair and let out a breath I didn’t know I’d been holding. The wall between us felt thicker now. More permanent. And I couldn’t blame her for that.
She had every reason to hate me.
And still—she kissed me. It made my stomach glittered like a teen girl who just got asked to prom by her crush.
I reached for the throw pillow beside me and gripped it absently, trying not to remember the way her lips had trembled, or how her voice cracked when she said she couldn’t trust me.
Because she was right.
I’d built a whole life of walls—impenetrable, sterile, cold. And the only person who had ever managed to push past them? I’d forgotten her. Buried her. Hurt her.
And I couldn’t even remember why I did those things to her.
A bitter laugh left me. I sounded like a madman.
Outside the window, the wind had died down. The trees stood still. The storm had passed.
But the one inside me hadn’t.
No service. No signal. No calls.
Callum would probably have sent some team down here if he still worked under me.
Not that it mattered. I had hurt him. But so had he. Even though it was my others.
Anyways, I had sent him a message to take his time. And he had—just like everyone else in my life eventually did.
I was alone.
Again.
And wasn’t that the story of my entire damn existence?
My father used to say, “The Vaughn name is heavier than any crown.”
He meant it as a badge of pride, some sacred duty. But to me? It always felt like a chain.
The Vaughn men were trained, not raised. They were taken from orphanages like I and trained to be who they are.
Groomed to take control. Taught to lead, not listen. Love was... optional. Weak, even. Emotion? A liability. Tears, hide it. Don't ever
cry. You're a man. A Vaughn. Tears are for the women he would say. Sleep. Fuck. Make merry. But never forget to be serious in money, business and heirs.
That's just it.
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