A Lazy Day
Silence.
The kind that made my stomach twist.
Asher looked up at the stars for a moment before speaking again.
“I don’t even remember when it started. Maybe it was the first time I saw you pull an all-nighter in college, running on nothing but coffee and pure spite. Or when I watched you take care of your kids like they were your whole world.” He let out a soft chuckle. “Hell, maybe it was always there since I met you. Since I knew you. Just waiting.”
I swallowed hard.
My throat was suddenly too tight.
I knew Asher cared about me.
I just didn’t know it was like this.
He shook his head, rubbing the back of his neck. “I don’t expect you to feel the same way, Remi. I really don’t. But I needed you to know. I needed you to understand why I—” He stopped, clenching his jaw before looking at me again. “Why I hate that you let Rowan Vaughn get close to you again.”
I flinched at his name.
Of course.
“Asher—”
“Just hear me out.” His voice was low, almost pleading. “That man destroyed you. I watched you put yourself back together, piece by piece, and now? Now, he’s acting like he has some right to you, like he never let you suffer alone. And it kills me.”
I clenched my hands into fists. “He’s different.”
“Is he?” His voice was sharp. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like he’s doing what he’s always done—forcing his way into your life. And this time, you’re letting him.”
I looked away, biting my lip.
It wasn’t that simple. Not anymore.
I wasn’t letting Rowan do anything.
Was I?
Asher sighed, running a hand through his hair. “You deserve better, Remi. Someone who knows your worth. Someone who would never make you question your place in their life.”
I swallowed. “And you think that’s you?”
His jaw tightened, but his eyes were soft.
“I don’t know. But I’d damn well try.”
My heart ached at that.
I let out a slow breath, shaking my head. “Asher… you’re in the mafia.”
A small, wry smile pulled at his lips. “That I am.”
“I don’t know if I could ever be a part of that world.”
He nodded. “I wouldn’t ask you to. I just… I just wanted you to know how I feel.”
I looked at him for a long time.
At my friend. At the man who had been there through everything.
And then—
I crossed my arms around my chest.
His expression shifted. “Remi—”
I held up a hand. “I need time.”
His lips pressed together, but he nodded. “I get it.”
I turned, my head spinning as I walked back toward the street.
I needed to breathe.
To think.
To understand why my heart felt so damn heavy.
Asher let me go without another word.
But even as I left him sitting there—
I could still feel the weight of his confession lingering in the air.
\---
Later That Night At Home I sat on my bed, staring at my hands.
Asher.
Rowan.
My past. My future.
My goddamn mess of a life.
I sighed, leaning back against my pillows.
I had spent years making sure my kids had a good life.
Making sure I was strong enough to stand on my own.
But now?
Now, I wasn’t sure what came next.
I reached for my phone.
Scrolled through my messages.
Rowan hadn’t texted me again.
Neither had Asher.
And yet—
They were all I could think about.
I closed my eyes.
Took a deep breath.
And for the first time in a long time—
I had no idea what to do.
****
I couldn't sleep. I had to go for a walk at midnight just to clear my head, not ideal but it helped.
Besides, now I am back.
I stood there, not even caring enough to move.
I felt drained.
Like someone had wrung me out, leaving nothing but exhaustion behind.
Then, a small voice—
“Mummy?”
I blinked.
Larry stood in the hallway, rubbing his sleepy eyes.
Laura peeked out from behind him, her hair a mess of curls, her face filled with concern.
I forced a weak smile. “Hey, babies. What are you doing awake?”
Larry frowned. “We heard the door. You were out late.”
Laura tilted her head. “Are you okay, Mummy? You look…” She paused, thinking. “…Like when you burn toast and try to pretend it’s fine but it’s really, really not.”
I let out a shaky laugh, but it cracked at the edges.
“Come here,” I whispered, kneeling down.
They didn’t hesitate.
Both of them rushed forward, their little arms wrapping around me, holding me tight.
And I—
I broke.
A sob ripped out of me before I could stop it.
I clutched them closer, burying my face into their soft curls, my entire body shaking.
“I’m tired,” I choked out. “So, so tired.”
Larry’s grip tightened. “It’s okay, Mummy. We’re here.”
Laura sniffled. “Don’t cry, Mummy. We don’t like it when you cry.”
I nodded, trying to pull myself together.
Trying to be strong.
For them.
For myself.
But in that moment—
All I could do was hold on to them.
Because they were the only thing keeping me from falling apart completely.
***
The sound woke me up.
A dull pounding in my head, like my body protested the mere idea of facing the day.
I lay there for a moment, staring at the ceiling, my arms still wrapped around Laura, Larry curled up beside me.
I didn’t want to move.
Didn’t want to go to work.
Didn’t want to deal with research, meetings, decisions—any of it.
I reached for my phone on the nightstand and dialed Jo.
She picked up immediately, her voice too chipper for this hour. “Finally! Do you know how many messages you ignored last night? What the hell happened—”
“I’m not coming in today,” I said flatly.
Jo paused. “…What?”
“I’m staying home.”
Another pause. Then—“Remi, are you sick? Are you dying? Did someone bribe you?”
I sighed, rubbing my temples. “No, Jo. I just—”
Didn’t have the energy?
Didn’t want to pretend to be fine?
Didn’t want to be the perfect surgeon, boss, mother, woman-who-has-her-shit-together today?
“The burial is soon. I might go help out.”
Jo exhaled slowly. “Okay. Take your time. Just… don’t shut down completely, alright?”
I hummed in response, which wasn’t really a yes or no, but Jo knew better than to push.
“If you need me, call.”
I ended the call and dragged myself out of bed.
Maybe I could do something productive today.
\---
The kitchen was quiet, just the soft sizzle of bacon filling the space.
I should have made something healthier. Oatmeal. Fruit. Something responsible.
Instead, I stood there, staring at the bacon, my vision blurring.
Claire should have been here.
She would have been here.
Teasing me, stealing pieces of bacon, telling me I was a terrible cook and should never be left alone in a kitchen.
I bit my lip hard, forcing back the sting in my chest.
The sound of little footsteps broke my trance.
“Mummy?”
I blinked, looking down to see Larry staring up at me, still in his pajamas.
Behind him, Laura stretched, rubbing her eyes. “Something’s burning.”
I swore, quickly flipping the bacon before it turned to charcoal.
Laura giggled. “Told you! Mummy sucks at cooking!”
Larry sighed, already grabbing plates. “I’ll set the table.”
I smiled, grateful for the distraction.
For them.
****
Larry and Laura rushed ahead, their backpacks bouncing as they waved goodbye.
“Bye, Mummy!”
“Bye, Handsome Uncle Rowan!”
I froze.
Wait.
What?
A car engine rumbled behind me.
I turned.
Sure enough—
Rowan’s car rolled up the driveway, sleek and expensive, like he belonged in a goddamn movie.
I clenched my jaw, watching as he pulled in.
What the hell was he doing here?
I stood on the porch, crossing my arms as he got out of the car.
His eyes locked onto mine immediately.
He was still bruised. Still healing. But that damn confidence never left his face.
I didn’t let him get a word out before I said—
“What are you doing here?”
His gaze flicked toward the school bus where the twins had disappeared, then back to me.
“How are the kids?”
I folded my arms tighter. “None of your business.”
Rowan chuckled, shaking his head as he slid his sunglasses off. “Still feisty, I see.”
I narrowed my eyes. “Why are you here, Rowan? Shouldn’t you be nursing your billionaire ego somewhere else?”
“Shouldn’t you be at work?” he countered, stepping closer.
I stiffened.
Damn him.
He looked too casual, too at ease, standing there like he belonged on my porch. His white button-up was undone at the collar, sleeves rolled up to his elbows, showing off his forearms. Dark slacks. Expensive watch. A hint of stubble on his jaw.
He looked… annoyingly good.
I pushed the thought away.
“How did you even get in?” I snapped.
Rowan slipped his sunglasses into his pocket. Smirked. “You let me in.”
I gawked at him. “Excuse me?”
His smirk widened. “You pressed the gate button. Didn’t stop me. That’s basically an invitation.”
I gritted my teeth. “That’s not how gates work. I pressed it for the kids and you push
ed yourself in.”
“Well it was opened and I drove in.”
God, I wanted to shoot him so badly.
“Is this your attitude today? Being cocky and annoying?”
“Not really. I know you would ignore my calls and all that. So I decided to show up.”
I frowned. “Why?”
“Because I want to take you out.”
I blinked.
Stared.
Then—
“Excuse me?”
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