41- Seila's origin

With the skill of someone who has done it thousands of times and knows his job
perfectly, the pilot manages to land the helicopter just in time on the rooftop of the
review gym I have to go to. I have to give him credit, because, in addition to the
fact that he did it in record time, he risked landing on a not entirely suitable space,
and all because I have asked him earnestly to take me to the most important
competition of my life and career as soon as possible. With that very much on my
mind, I unbuckle my seatbelts, and once I'm free of his grip, I thank him, get off the
helicopter and run for the stairs; heights have never appealed to me much, but
right now I'm so anxious to get there on time, I don't even notice the fact that we're
a good handful of meters above the whole city. This is the tallest building of all, but
right now all I care about is getting down, and the faster I do it, the better.
- My God, until you finally arrive!
As soon as I open the door and enter the stairs, I am greeted by the endless
prayers and incessant chatter of Daniel, my trainer and one of the first people who
trusted me before starting this path, this laborious journey that brought me to
where I am today. He is a short but well-muscled man, who is almost fifty and who,
despite having cream-white skin, right now seems to have reached a really
extreme level of pallor, and all because of the nerves that have surely been eating
him up during all the time it has taken me to get here. Really, I feel so sorry and
guilty seeing him like that, that, as soon as I get to him, I can't help but throw
myself into his arms.
- How are you," I ask him, once I have separated from him.

It's so much better now that you've finally arrived," he says, with a sincere and

frankly relieved smile. What took you so long?
-It's just that I...
And although at first my intention is to tell him in detail what has happened to me
(after all, in addition to being my personal trainer, he has also been my friend and
confidant during all these years that we have been knowing each other and
working together), at the last minute I am assaulted by misgivings and decide to
cut my sentence in half. Not because I think he's going to judge me, make fun of
me or anything like that, but because it wouldn't be fair to tell him that, after all the
work and effort we've both put in to get me to this moment, just a few hours before
the most important competition of my entire existence...I've chickened out. It is a
much more complicated matter than it may seem at first, but right now what
matters is that I am already here, and in these moments what I need is to
concentrate and try not to think about it, or else I will collapse completely and
hopelessly.
-I'm a little too late -this is the lie that comes to me at the last minute, one that I
decide to accompany with a cardboard smile that couldn't be more stiff and false-.
But what matters is that I'm already here, aren't I?
-Well, yes," he replies. I know he knows me well enough to detect when I'm lying,
but since time doesn't give us the basis, he decides to let it go: "Come with me so
you can change. We don't have much time.
In this way, we leave aside the friendly and inconsequential chitchat, to put on the
professional and dedicated mask with which we have always known how to
separate our personal relationship. After taking me by the hand, Daniel leads me
down the stairs, so quickly and sometimes so abruptly, that on more than one
occasion I find myself on the verge of falling on my face; fortunately that doesn't
happen, and after a few minutes, I find myself in the locker room. On the other side
of these walls you can already hear the excitement, the screams and murmurs of
the hundreds of people that fill the stands of the pool where the competition will
take place, but I try not to pay too much attention to them while I get dressed. If I
start thinking about how many people are out there, the memory of them will shake
my mind like a particularly violent hurricane, and I don't want something like that to
steal my calm now.
Can you help me?
The stupid swim cap has always seemed to have some sort of thing against me,
because it always resists in the worst way, and always when I'm in the most hurry.
However, as soon as I hand the baton to Daniel, he works his magic and helps me
get ready in record time. I drop my stuff in the locker, grab my towel and glasses,
and shoot off like an arrow to the pool. It's lucky I don't have wet feet right now,
because, at the rate I'm running out of the locker room, I'd almost certainly end up
on the floor in a mush. Luckily, I make it there safe and sound, in one piece, and
when the pool doors swing open wide to give me passage, I feel a little more
comfortable and calm than I did before.

The competition is just minutes away from starting, so I make an effort to do my
warm-ups in the best way possible, praying, at the same time, that the time I took
to arrive won't decide to play against me and in favor of my rivals, who right now
seem very paid for themselves with my delay. It's a detail that always manages to
haunt me every time I get the wonderful idea of being late for a competition, but, on
this occasion, it doesn't have too much time to do so, because shortly after I finish
my routine, it is announced that we are finally ready to begin. The tug of nerves in
the pit of my stomach that is now more than usual greets me as I step up to my
mark, but I manage to control it as I wait for the starting whistle. I know that I
should at least allow myself to greet the people who, from the stands, are
supporting me and accompanying me in this important step, but the fear that gives
me to meet the trace of his smile or the sparkle in his eyes, prevents me. It is a
debate that breaks out inside me in the same way a storm does, and that extends
until the time comes to jump into the water and compete...
...However, it seems that fate decides to be especially cruel to me today, because,
although I try hard to concentrate and leave my mind blank, as soon as I touch the
waters and plunge into them, it is as if I am plunging headlong into my own
memories. A door opens, the dam breaks, and everything that I have tried to hold
back to protect myself, is thrown out like a jet propelled outward.