Chapter 39 I DIE ALONE.

MONDAY
Jhan had brought me back to our original town, to our home. I had stayed shackled in that room for three weeks and during that time, the higher court had deemed it safe for us to return to our town. Tia hugged me once I walked through the door.
"What happened?" She asked, holding my face in her hands.
I remembered how our last conversation had ended and I felt ashamed for how I had treated her. Pushing her aside roughly without even thinking about it.
"I'm sorry Tia. I'm sorry for what happened before all this."
She looked at me with content.
'I'm just glad you're alright," She said.
"You have a lot of things to explain Kaldar," Jereum said, he had appeared out of nowhere as usual. "Like how took on a whole horde of adjudicators but you couldn't even knockdown Leya." I smiled at his humour.
'Dawn is worried Kaldar," Tia whispered to me.
I walked up the stairs and got to the first door of my attic-room. I had missed climbing up the short stairs. I got to second door, which was the actual door to the room, and when I opened it, Leya instantly pulled me into a hug.
'Don't ever do something like that like again," She said.
'I won't." I assured her with a pat on the head.
Dawn looked at me from where she stood. Leya left the room and I walked to her. She looked up at me with hurt in her eyes. My clothes were torn in multiple places and I was sure I looked like a rag doll.
'He had to pay," I said, trying to let her see reason behind my actions.
But she pulled me into a warm hug first. She released me, allowing space to fall between us.
'And this is how you made him pay?" She waved her hands up and down in the space between us, Implying to my torn clothes and ragged appearance.
'Kaldar, if you love me you'd listen to me. I don't like the way you ran off like that. You scared me; did you see the way you looked? There was this glint to your gaze that reminded me off—" I knew where she was going with this so I quickly took a finger and pressed it on her lips, shushing her as well.
'The others don't know about that yet."
She continued on a different path. 'Kaldar, you're making me worried. You're the only person I can actually relate with here and for the past days you've not even been around. This is not how we were, not how we used to relate."
'I know, and I'm sorry." Her bruises were almost healed up. The bright blue colour in her eyes returning.
'Eaten?" I asked her.
She nodded.
'They take real good care of me."
'This past three weeks without you was torture." She admitted. "Tia told me what you had done and she said that there was a possibility they would decapitate you."
'How's your side?" I asked her. She walked back to my bed, sitting down on it and raising up her shirt. I inspected the wound, it was almost healed up. Leya's concoction was working even better than I had imagined.
I felt her finger slowly slide across the side of my face. I looked up at her.
'You're very beautiful," She said. I throw her a glance before refocusing my attention on her wound.
Probably tired of the slow approach, she held my face and brought me up. I raised mysf obediently and I saw the burning desire in her eyes. I stood up and she lay back on the bed, looking at me with an amorous leer. I returned her warm smile as I lay on her, careful to put my full weight on her slim body. She kissed me slowly. Like she didn't want the others to hear us make out from the parlour.
I kissed her back and she slowly caressed my face. I knew the places that would send her away. That would make her crave something she wouldn't get.
I kissed her neck very softly. She placed a hand on my nape and I heard her heartbeat speed up. I kissed down her neck slowly, her breathing was becoming heavier and that Wass what I was intending on so I continued.
I kissed down her neck till I got to her collar bone. She didn't say anything, she couldn't do anything. I was sure she just wanted more. I got to the top of her chest and that's when I heard my name escape her mouth in a low sigh.
I smiled. I kissed back up her neck and when I got to her lips she kissed me with so much animation.
"Why did you stop there?" She asked, sounding a bit disappointed.
As much as I had wanted to touch her and make her moan in pleasure, I knew she had already been through so much stress and right then I only wanted her to heal.
'I have to tell you something," I whispered to her before grabbing her lips in mine.
'Right now or…"
'Yeah, now."
'What is it?" She asked. Her eyes were closed and her breathing was heavy but fluid. She had already been under much stress and trauma I didn't want to add more to it. I didn't know if she'll be able to handle it if I told her there was a war looming that I had to fight in which may lead to my death.
'I missed this part of us," I said, diverting from what I had in mind but sparking up a new at atmosphere between us, one I knew she would like.
She smiled even brighter and I kissed her again, the phantom warmth kissing her brought to me we like a warm flame spreading through my cold bory. I got so carried away I had forgot about her soar waist. She winced lowly and I immediately got off of her.
'I'm sorry, I'm sorry," I said.
But she didn't seem really hurt. Her breathing calmed and she looked at me with a warm smile.
'You know, it's funny how you can be so gentle with me. Yet you can also get very scary and aggressive."
'I can't get aggressive with you, I would never hurt." And I had in mind the war between vampire and Lobo that I had avoided telling her. I was trying not to hurt her by not telling her but if she should figure out, I wondered if she would understand with me.
I looked at her, her emotion suddenly blue. It was funny how someone's emotion could change all of a sudden.
'What is it?"
'Oh, I'm just thinking about my parents. I've had it in mind to go see them but I know that my bruises would only raise countless questions and suspicion. I miss them Kaldar. I've not been able to them for almost a month and I already feel alone without them.
'Hey, you'll never be alone. I'm here with you," I told her reassuringly, 'and once your wound is healed to an extent, you'll be free to go back home. It'll be like you never left to them."
'But why do I feel guilty by leaving out such a thing from them. I know it's for their own safety and I'm trying not to hurt them, but I still feel guilty for it."
And at that moment I realized how ironic the situation was. She felt guilty for cheating her parents off a major part of her life for their own safety, and I felt equally as bad for not telling her about the seemingly inevitable war.
We were both guilty for something we did in the name of trying to not hurt another's feelings. But I knew that my case was different. She could not actually tell her parents about it. It was just too risky so she didn't even have a choice to begin with. As for me, I could tell and stop hiding it from her but I chose not to, and a part of me knew that it wasn't because I was avoiding hurting her feelings, it was actually because I couldn't live the tragic truth that I was going to die by the jaws of those wolves and I chose to die peacefully. Without her even knowing.