Chapter 14 -It's all about my willingness

"Have you made your mind?"
"Yes, and there's no turning back."
"Well then, you remember, from now on, in front of outsiders you will be called Laura Louise."
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Jennifer woke up again from her dream, her mind kept echoing with a bunch of voices, each voice kept shouting " Laura, Laura ", she took a glass of ice water and drunk, her body calmed down.
She was not yet familiar enough with the new name Eddie had given her, and every now and then she dreamed of being pulled around by a bunch of people.
She touched the small of her back out of habit, only to remember that the little life there had gone.
The wind was still a bit cool, not enough to sting the bones when it swept over her skin, but she felt her heart was aching.
Still sleepless, she took out her lighter and lit the candle she had bought from the little shop in the afternoon, watching the light rub off a little, and staring at it again until it was all dim.
Today is the first seven days after a miscarriage of the fetal, Simon pays tribute to him, but his heart is densely filled with Jennifer Louise.
He had finally lost her, but could not find a reason to leave a tombstone for her.
"If this child is born, the child will look a lot like her, right?" Diana walked over and caressed the spirit altar and spoke, "Sometimes I just think, life is really fragile, Jennifer lost her baby, it's normal for her to want to take it out on me, but I really didn't think ...... that if I didn't dodge that stab of hers, maybe she wouldn't have... ..."
When it comes to emotional moments, tears fall from Diana's eyes, which is a basic skill as an actor.
"Don't blame yourself, this has nothing to do with you."
Simon couldn't stay in this depressing place any longer, so he grabbed his coat and left the door after a perfunctory word of comfort.
Diana waited until the door was closed before she wiped her tears and looked at the altar with hatred, gritting her teeth and thinking, why should a dead person still have a place in Simon's heart? Diana vowed to herself that she wand to be the only person who could stay with Simon.
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It was late at night when Simon came back again, and Diana waited on the table for him all night too, in order to create the image of being attentive .
"You're back." Diana pretended to be sleepy as she walked over to help him take off his jacket. The heavy smell of smoke mixed with the strong smell of alcohol hit her, and Diana's heart vaguely had some small anticipation that the opportunity had come.
She helped the drunken Simon to go to bed, while she went to the house where Jennifer had lived to pick out a tulle dress, for she didn't care about bad luck at this time.
After tidying up, Diana took a look at herself in the mirror, and only when she had a faint glimpse of Jennifer did, she go out and bring a basin of water and wipe Simon's face herself.
"Simon, are you feeling better? "Diana asked gently as she wiped his body, her hand also restlessly rubbing against Simon's neck, causing a stirring in his heart.
"Jennifer......" Simon unconsciously shouted out that name, the knot in his throat loosened and he reached out to grab the person next to him.
Diana pretended to be surprised and tried to retract her hand, but was pulled even tighter by Simon.
"Please don't leave me ......"
Seeing this, Diana explored her hand and gently undid Simon's blouse and lay in his arms. Simon reacted to the cool touch and rolled straight over to crush Diana underneath her.
His memory was full of Jennifer's face that was so aggrieved but didn't dare to say anything. His subconscious made him want to make amends and the move much more gentle than usual, but that was not Diana's plan, she pinched herself all over her body with bruises and bruises.
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When Simon woke up is already noon.
He pinched his aching temples, blankly, he couldn't remember what he had been drinking for yesterday and how he had gotten home.
He rubbed his eyes vigorously and sat up to get out of bed to wash up, but was startled by the woman sitting in the corner of the bed hugging her knees and stifling her sobs.
"Diana?" Simon called out tentatively, and the figure moved in response, before turning around to dry her tears and replied, " Simon you're awake."
"Why are you crying?"
"Nothing" Diana waved her hands in a panic, then couldn't restrain her tears again, this charming and pitiful look was touching.
"Just tell me."
Diana glanced at Simon's before going over and sitting on the edge of his bed, exposing her "wounds" in full in front of him.
Simon couldn't help but think about what had happened last night, and bits and pieces of it intertwined in his mind, stringing together into a single thread.
After realizing what he had done, Simon regretted his drunkenness more than a little.
" I did that?" Simon pointed at the bruises on Diana's body, only to see the latter shake her head even more aggressively, looking at him with a spring in her eyes and saying, "I am willing to ......"