CHAPTER 20: FUNERAL/FAMILY

Aria

It has been five days since my grandmother passed and tomorrow will be the day of her funeral. Everyone had gathered together, family and friends, for her going away.
The normal tradition would be to have her funeral in a church with the Pastor saying Grace over her casket, but nothing was traditional about the way my family did things. It was night time when we decided to bury her, on a full moon night.
The moons' glow made her skin look so alive. She was still beautiful even in death and it took my breath away. The fact that she was gone and to never be with me or hold me again, didn't seem to real at the end.
I had failed to spend time with her when she was alive and it broke my heart that it took me so long to even be back in her presence.
I loved my grandmother with every inch of my heart and even though she may have known it, I failed to show it.
The way my mother described her to me when she was sick, only meant that she had been sick for a very long time.
It angered me that my own family waited so long to tell me, and I knew that it was going to be hard for me to forgive them.
Hell, I couldn't even forgive myself for that matter.
Why didn't I stay good on my promises to her? Why couldn't I do one single thing right for her?
Maybe, it was just her fate to pass at a time like this and just maybe, it was my fate to learn my lesson.
I was going to be in pain for a very long time, but honestly, I deserved it.
Nothing could compare to the pain she probably felt in her last moments, and I didn't even have the chance to see her before her eyes rested.
My grandmother had the most beautiful eyes that changed every season, and I was pretty envious of them. They made her look so sweet, beautiful, and peaceful at the end.
After everyone laid flowers under her casket and said their good-byes, I was the last one to see her off. I walked over to her, leaned down, and kissed her cheeks, fighting back every tear I held in my body. There was a slight tingle sensation when my lips touched her skin and a small glowing light passed through me.
"What was that Grandmother?" I asked like she could hear me. She couldn't right?
Looking up from her, the strange wind blew again. There was something wrong here but I didn't know what it was. Would they think me crazy? Did anyone else feel what I felt? I would have to ask my mother about it later.
I went back to take my place in line and when we were all ready, we recited her going away Hymn.
*When they come the night stands black
She who has lived in her beauty
Her body lays in rest for depart
For the night of the full moon and stars
The love she held for her family
Will make her heart beat slightly
On every full moon of the night
They come to stand as her ancients
To deliver she who has been patient
She who has lived in her beauty
Will now rest and surrender her duties
Where she will once again start
Her journey as a beloved heart*

With all the tears that were shed, it seemed like we could fill the ocean to the brim. It was painful, but at least it was over. My mother lit the torch with fire, spoke a blessing over it, and threw it into her casket. Afterwards, everyone hugged each other and went their seperate ways. I was left standing in place with my feet frozen to the ground as I looked up at her burning casket.
I felt that same feeling as before, when her body faded in the fire. This was the second time tonight that I felt it. It was almost like a certain power was transferred from her body to mine. Damn, I know that sounds crazy, but it felt so real! I decided to shake off the thought and go get some rest.
Tomorrow, I'd be leaving, heading back to my own home, my own life. This time however, I would not stray far from my family. About every other month, I'd be visiting and my mom would make sure of it herself.
I had blindly resented my family and it resulted in me loosing a loved one. I no longer wanted to stay away from them. My family was my everything, my heart and soul put together. No longer would I ignore or reject them.
I loved them and even if all or most of us didn't get along, they were still my beloved family.