CHAPTER TWELVE

Jordan tiptoed out of bed as soon as Amelia turned the other way, he had been awake for close to thirty minutes and he was waiting for her to detangle herself from him so he could slip out as quiet as possible, his thoughts were all over the place and the last thing he wanted was them having the conversation right after waking up with both of them reeking of sex. Their clothes were strewn across the whole room and Jordan blamed himself for losing his self-control yesterday night. He went out of the duvet and he picked the clothes from the floor before folding them gently on the drawer, he made sure to be as silent as he could. Amelia was a deep sleeper but he wasn't ready to take any chances.
After a quick shower and he changed into his sports outfit, he picks the new headset a company sent him as an ambassador and he proceeded to jog around the whole estate. Maybe by the time he would be back, his head would be clear enough to have the discussion with her. He closed the door gently after him and he headed down the stairs. Amelia stood up from where she was pretending to sleep and she moved to the window to see him run out of the house with his ears plugged. She had no idea about how much they would avoid each other but they would need to talk about it one day. She went back under the covers as memories of yesterday night hit her hard. She would rather let the ground open up and swallow her because she was feeling too good about the whole thing.
Jordan increased the volume of the music he was listening all in a bid not to get distracted by the thoughts that filled his head. He had to admit how much he enjoyed last night and he felt weird that he wasn't even feeling any iota of regret in him. They both ci sense to it and they are adults. What made Jordan uncomfortable was how it would affect their friendship and most especially their work relationship. They weren't usually formal with each other either so it was more like a friendship with work benefits and now that was probably going to be ruined.
After the sex last night, one thing kept him awake even despite the way he tried to sleep, Amelia's words to him rang in his head over the night. One thing he was sure of was that their friendship would undergo a major change very soon and he would probably cry his eyes out after she leaves him because he doesn't feel the same way about her and that was quite sad. Considering the way Amelia had been through a whole lot in the hands of many people and she always fell in love with people who gave no fucks about her.
***FLASHBACK***
Amelia pressed herself against him and they were both butt naked, she couldn't say anything and Jordan felt comfortable in that position, they have probably exhausted all the alcohols in their system and what was left was the sex hangover but they stayed like that without any word to each other. They both enjoyed the silence and no one said anything. Jordan was almost falling asleep and Amelia's word snatched every sleep coming to his eyes.
Jordan wanted to remove her hands gently but she was holding on to him tightly. It had been so long since he was held like this or since he had to hold someone like this, he had missed the soft feeling of having a woman under him and he was so excited that he acted like a caveman towards her, he dare not imagine if that video was made recently and if KDJ was still hung over him, he didn't care at this point he just wanted to have fun with the kiss kids.
'I have always imagined what today would be like and I'm glad it didn't affect my imagination. If anything, it beat all the records I already set in my head. You are my best sex ever since I started having sex. I don't even want to go down the lane of when I've been imagining this, maybe the first time we met or the first time we started becoming close and those times I had to comfort you, I wanted to comfort you in other manners too but you won' let me. I was sad about that and I hated to do that to you or anyone else. I didn't want to feel like a hypocrite considering the fact that Bella used to be my friend even before you two got married.
I have liked you for a long time Jordan, even before we got the chance to meet or know each other, you might not remember but We have met in the past before and that was when I decided that I wanted to be yous forever. It was easier said than done and you were super focused on your goals. You wanted to be one of the top directors in the world and maybe confessing my love to you then would have hindered your dream. I am glad I didn't. Each time I give up my own life just to go around the world with you is not because of my job or my duty to you, it's because I love you so much. I love you so much that it hurts, I don't even want to go down the lane of how bad I ws hurt when I heard you were getting married to Bella. I failed again in securing the person I want and guess what, I lost to Bella Diez again. Just like every time, the high school spelling bee, the college swimming tournament, the drama club election, and now the only man I have ever loved.
Even though your divorce to her hurt you, I hate to see you hurt but I was glad you were out of that toxic hole. I stopped being friends with Bella because she hurt you every time, intentionally knowing the hold she had over you and she would make full usage of it. I didn't want that to happen to you and I didn't know how to stop it. I wanted you to stop hurting over someone who didn't care about you. I got her that nominations to the ever first role that landed her that oscar, it was a plan that I watched unfold before my very eyes and she took the bait. She chose to have a successful career over a man who would love her till eternity. That's a mistake I would never ever make in my life, I would rather not make myself famous and have a man keep me as a trophy wife. The months after, watching you slowly get power her was painful to me too but I never regretted what I did at any point. I did it for you because you deserve happiness too. I have been carrying this in my heart for so long that I feel as empty as nothing. I should feel guilty that I just slept with my best friend but sadly, I am having hope that maybe we would start something from here. I want to go round the world with you Jordan, I don't regret anything that I did to make you happy.
I watched you crawl to beg someone to love you back, while I watched from the bleachers trying to offer you every love I had. I would have given you the world and back for you to love me but you never saw me as a woman, it pained me because I have always wanted you to see me the same way every make in the industry saw me. They saw me as a sexpot and I wanted you to see me like that too, I wanted you to be sexually attracted to me, maybe my bed skills would keep you forever but you never seemed to notice any of them. You barely complement my feminine looks and it hurts watching that I have been friend zoned by the only person that made my world go round and round.
Jordan, I know you are probably hearing me or you might not remember the pigment of this conversation by morning but I would be at peace knowing I told you genuinely about how I felt. I love you Jordan so bad that it hurts, I've seen you start many short relationships in the industry and I want to scream each time that can't you see me here. It is sad and unrequited love is one hell of a thing that no one ever prays to experience any day. I really hope one day you realize everything I did for you was out of love and I don't regret being a fool for your own love.
***FLASHBACK END***
Jordan hated to think about the days that Amelia had talked about in her letter, he hated that she was right about everything she said about his and Bella's relationship and he regretted not seeing beyond her genuine kindness. She was a natural kind persona and they were part of the reasons he remained friends with her despite knowing how close she used to be with Bella before the celebrity lifestyle. He had no idea how to Troy and tell him everything he said about Amelia being in love with him was true. In his last interview with the organization, Amelia had told the general public that he was like a brother to her and he would never take advantage of her.
He had taken advantage of her vulnerable state and he took carnival knowledge of her. Although she consented and he knew she had always wanted it, he didn't care about what anyone else had to say. Maybe he was really overthinking this one and he should head back home and have a heart to heart discussion about what really happened between them including the sex and why she kept her crush away from him for that long time. He really wanted to know about it and how she survived watching different women in his arms. At a point, when he was losing his mind, he would always show up at events with a different kind of degrading woman and they would give him joy. He was surprised that he once enjoyed such life barely months from the debt score.
He got to the point and he stopped to catch his breath and maybe take more water. He was overworking himself already and he needed to catch a break, he needed to stop the way he was overworking himself and go back home to speak to the affected person. They were both adults and everything she contributed to his and Bella's marriage was simple thighs that were meant to happen to a married couple that then love alone was simply not enough. Jordan rested on the tree and his mind went to the first time that he was meeting Amelia for the first time.
She was on a low cut then and she didn't even want to try to make her face at least nice enough to allow people to approach her, Jordan felt like she was a nice person and he went to talk to her. He waited for the ball to end before approaching her and these tried to wade him off. He was persistent and he made it clear that he wanted to be her friend. Many people found the situation hilarious but she later caved in and she let him have her digits. She was quite uncomfortable and he wanted to make her comfortable throughout the rest of the journey. They went from friends who as scared to game out in his mother's basement to people who pick matching outfits and celebrate their friend essay in early February. He made a U turn and he trudged home slowly, like a cat who had missed his way.
He had indeed missed his way and it's not every time you find your way back in a very easy manner. His phone started ringing and he searched everywhere for an invisible thing that would indicate where the stupid device was and talk shit about. He trudged home slowly and for the first time, he wasn't excited about going home.