CHAPTER TWENTY

Jordan slid his phone into his pocket as he arrived in front of Amelia's apartment. She'd been in his mind all through the directing process, they'd been friends for years. It wouldn't be good if they ended the friendship on bad terms.
And he also wanted to apologise for the manner in which he spoke to her the last time. It was too bland and direct.
He'd been a direct man all his life, he sometimes didn't know how to speak softly to people even though he meant well.
For Amelia, he was going to try. She deserved to be heard and respected.
Even though he hated confrontation, he was hoping this could work out and they'd be friends again.
With that, he got out of his car and ensured it was locked. Then he started heading to her house.
He looked to her windows out of habit but it appeared that Amelia didn't check to see who it was. He sighed. He hoped she hadn't been too depressed.
He knocked on the door as he crossed over the front porch. He wondered if he should have brought some flowers over as an apology.
He knocked again as he got no response the first time.
By now, he heard sluggish movements inside the room. If it were before, she'd probably chirp out 'Coming!' with enthusiasm but now she didn't bother to say a word.
He heard the doorknob open and he met face to face with Amelia.
Immediately she saw him, she tried to the close the door but Jordan caught it.
'Let's talk, please." He said.
'I have nothing to discuss with you, leave."
Jordan refused to let go of the door.
'All the years, I knew you had a crush on me but I thought it was a harmless one and it would pass. I was too spineless to confront you about it because I didn't want to ruin our friendship. No matter how many years we were friends and the good times we spent together, I could only see you as a good friend and not as a lover.."
Amelia looked at Jordan with a pained expression.
'I'm sorry for losing control of myself that night and sleeping with you and I'm sorry for not reciprocating your love."
A tear trickled down Amelia's face which she angrily wiped, 'If you're saying this because you think I'll accept you as my friend again, you've lost your mind."
Jordan nodded, 'I totally understand it—"
'—Good!" Amelia yelled, 'I'm glad we're clear on that, I don't want to ever see you again!"
Jordan nodded painfully as he looked at Amelia's face. This was it for them.
He let go of the door and let the door slam in his face, yet again. It took everything in him not to shed a tear.
Behind the door, Amelia slid down the door untill she was sitting on the floor.
After so many years of changing who she was to fit the kind of women he liked, he didn't even notice.
Even if he did, he probably ignored her and saw her as a wannabe who wanted to attract as many men as she could.
She had so many men look her way but not Jordan, the man right by her side.
How many times did she take care of June like she was her own daughter? She low-key wanted June to like her enough so she could pester Jordan to be with her.
How naive she was.
At the end of the day, the person he cared about the most was Belle.
She could never take Belle's place in his heart no matter how hard she tried, no matter how long it took.
At the end of the day, she came later on his priority list. She gthought it was finally happening and her dreams were finally coming to pass. She wpould never forget the day he said whoever he was going to marry would be his best bfriend and she though he was hitn9ng at marrying her. That night she barely got any sleep out of excitement and she waited all week for him to ask her to ne his girlfriend. If only she knew she was setting herslef uo for pains.
How stupid she'd been. She had no excuse for her behaviour except hat she was exceptionally stupid and she did nothing but show him how to further exploit her to his own comfort.
The number of men she hung with in the past had bothered Jordan and she thought it was because he harbored unspoken feelings for her. But he only saw her as a naive friend to watch out for. He saw her as a baby sister he didn't want people exploiting and taking advantage of but he did just do that to her. He exploited her naivety and took advantage of her. She was there for him through every damn up and downs in his life. She always placed him first and her brain was even wired to put him first. It was how pathetic she had become.
Tears rolled down her cheeks as the realization of how stupid she was dawned on her. She had no idea that out of all the people in the world, it chose to happen to her. She immediately craved a drink to drown down her sorrow. In your dark days, alcohol would never fail you. That was asolid fact that she knew too well.
This was getting too much for her to handle. If she could get wasted and fucked tonight, she wouldn't mind it. It sounded like the perfect escape from her sad reality, she just wanted to do anything she could, anything that would help her achieve her aim. Forgetting everything she went through for Jordan Wilder might eb hard but nothing continuous shots of alcohol wouldn't cure. She just needed to get away as fast as possible. She would do anything.
Anything to forget.
Anything to forget the stupid things she'd done. Anything to forget how blatantly stupid she had been without having to try at all. If only she had made other friends when she wasn't busy gumming herself to Jordan Wilder everywhere she went to. The evidence of her amazing stupidity is out in the open and what did she get in the end, Is a slap of rejection to her face. Damn Hordan Wilder for not loving her as much as she loved him.
A thought crossed her mind. Pete, a co-worker had asked her out previously. She had found him cute but not as manly as she would have wanted. Something about Jordan Wilder seemed to make her whole sense clouded and she did nothing but unconsciously make him the standard for whoever she was going out with. She was done living that kind of life and she would break the bias tonight and it would all end here. It sounded easier from the mouth but Amelia knew it was very far from the truth.
She immediately stood from the ground and went to pick up her phone. She searched for his name on her contact list. When she found it, she did not hesitate to click on the call option. It was either now or never, she needed a distraction so bad and she didn't mind coming off as desperate. A trait Amelia didn't have until Jordan came into her life. It was very obvious how much of a fool she had been for love, even when it was doing nothing but causing her pains and making her lose a great part of her life trying to be available for him physically and emotionally. She had been a stupid person in the past and she was going to stop being stupid henceforth.
'Hello?" Pete said from the other line. He sounded so unsure that she was the one on the end, he probably has waited for the calls months ago and when she didn't he probably has given up. She only wished he didn't so he would be able to help her out of this misery Nordan Wilder put her in. It was time to be selfish too just like her former best friend and she was done being selfless and putting everyone before her. The ball was in her court now and she could as well make a perfect shot.
'You like me, right?" She asked directly, she was tired of playing games. Maybe she had been this direct with Jordan Wilder, she wouldn't have gotten deep into this mess and she would be able to escape easily. Now she was left in the friendship with nothing more than a broken heart and a timeline of memories that she had wasted her life making. Memories that would serve as a reminder of how much of a bigger fool she was and how pathetic she was for thinking a man would grow to love her if she was always available for him.
'Amelia, are you okay? You don't sound okay." The genuine worry in his voice made her want to cry more. He sounded so worried and she wanted to beat herself up for not seeing people who genuinely wanted her before she started pinning over someone who would never reciprocate those feelings. The more she thought about it, the more she realize how big of a fool she was.
'You know what? Let's meet up for drinks. 5pm, Vista café club. Don't be late."
Before Pete could say anymore, she ended the call. She didn't want to think about the offer twice or else she might end up not going and she would just collapse here and cry away from her eyes, it was something that she knew very well. Rather than cry over a friendship breakup, she could as well party to the pains, she knew by the time she got back from wherever she went to,
She slipped out of the plain cardigan and baggy trousers she was wearing and slid on a hot pink dress that showed all her yummy curves. Then she applied some powder and lipstick. She wasn't confident she could do her make up right in the situation she currently was in. She just wanted to act like she didn't give two fucks about the way her entire life was literally burning right now. She just wanted to have fun and forget about all the chaos going on in her life. She thought about what pair of pumps she should pair with it and she knew coming back home sober was something she would not do and medium sized pumps would be safer and they would just complement her long legs too. She decided to wear the medium sized heels and grabbed her car keys along with a black purse. She took a look at the mirror and she wished she didn't, instead of her usual hot self, who she was looking at in the mirror was different from the Amelia she knew and grew up to love. This Amelia looked like she would rather be anywhere than in the current outfit she was wearing, this Amelia looked like someone who would collapse in front of a mirror and cry her eyes out till she had no tears left. That was why she needed to party hard and bring back the Amelia she was familiar with.
She locked her door and got into her car. She wanted to get away from here as fast as possible and she had no idea how she would survive of she was still standing here. Everything about this place was suffocating ehr and she needed to get away from here as fast as she could. This place looked like it was the genesis of her problems. She had no detested something this fast in a while.
She tried not to cry as she sped out of the estate and drove on the main road. She knew if she wasn't careful she might just end up in a car crash and Jordan would go back to his life. He was used to so many sad things so her death would just be another minor event in his book of life. The more she thought about it the more she felt like collapsing and crying desperately. Crying would never bring back the man she had always loved or would it restore their friendship.
Her heart was hurt and she wanted something to numb the feeling desperately. Maybe drink away her sorrow and cry out her eyes on the bank of the beach, maybe sit in the shower and scream till her throats can no longer do it. She had no idea how she would be able to take away all of this hurt in her mind. She wanted to find a mountain top and scream into the hollowness. Maybe the screams of her feelings were loud enough for the sky bodies to hear and loud enough for the big guy up there to realize how much pain she was feeling.
Never did she think all the effort she placed on Jordan would go to waste like this. Never in a million years did she imagine that all the years she dedicated to him would go down the drain like this, never in her life did she think that it would be worthless and she would be tossed away. She tried hard to find out what his type of woman was and she acted like it, still, he didn't spare her a second glance. The hurt was too much for her bear alone, maybe she needed an outlet indeed.
So many wasted years. So many years of putting him right above her and trying to do everything to help him out. She was pathetic and she knew it but she was willing to be pathetic for him. When he made her his best friend, she thought she was making progress finally and maybe a little step at a time. She was extremely patient and she did n every thing with the hope that one day, it would yield the desired result. Only if she knew, she would have warned her pasts elf not to invest this much time and effort into Jordan Wilder. Damn that handsome bastard.
'ARGH!!" She yelled in frustration and slammed her fist on the horn button, scaring the drivers in front. It hurts that much knowing how much of her life she dedicated to impressing a certain individual and she ended up not even getting what she wanted. She could have set the boundaries, she knew he would never love her like he loved Belle but a part of her was willing to risk it. She was hoping for a change of mind; a little miracle. How wrong of her.
She madly rode into Vista café club and moved her car to the parking lot area. Tonight would be different because she would party solely with the intention of focusing on herself and having fun. She would will herself to forget a certain hot director with a cute kid.