Chapter 19, Milo

I just told Esmeralda I loved her.

I have no fucking idea what came through me, and it just...got out.

I should feel ashamed, but I am definitely not. I am more relieved than anything, even if saying it out loud seems to make it even more real, and it just made me realize how weak I've become.

And me telling her not to leave...I don't know what happened either, and I'd rather not try to understand, because everything is so confusing, and annoying, and sad at the moment.

As I sit on the couch across from her, I see her fidget with the hem of her shirt. I don't even know why she came here in the first place, all I know is that the woman she thought I brought to my bed is my coach's girlfriend, who's pregnant - by the way, and asked to crash at my place because they had a fight. She saw that I was shirtless and immediately assumed I was hooking up with her, when I cannot even look at someone else than her. Danielle wasn't even annoyed, when I apologized to her and told her I had things to handle, she only shrugged, saying that she needed to have a talk with Darcy as well. I called a cab for her, then proceeded to call Darcy as well, and asked her to text me, so I know that she got home safely.

I didn't correct Esmeralda about her because I was blind-sided by anger.

I still am.

The only reason I accepted that deal in the first place was because my family's reputation is the most important thing for me. All through the years I did everything to give the media what they want, let them hear whatever the fuck they wanted to hear me say.

All of that so they wouldn't dig too deep in my family's history.

So they don't find out that Milo Chase is not the real son of the Chase family.

That Milo Chase was adopted.

And that he was abandoned by his biological parents because he had stage 1 blood cancer when he was born.

As cliché as that might seem, Nora and Christopher Chase found me on their doorstep. A one year old sick baby, who's fate was already doomed from the very beginning.

20 years later, and I am fully healed, thanks to the medical care my family provided me. A miracle the doctors said, because it is extremely rare that cancer fully heals, and that leukemia in children is one of the few exceptions.

I've always felt like I owe my parents a debt for saving my life and for making me feel loved in every possible way, that is why, since I've been a little boy, I've always done my very best to impress them, and to make them proud of me. From being the best student in my class, to a successful actor and business man.

God knows how mad people can get, this kind of scandal could make all of our careers end.

I couldn't ruin their lives when they saved mine, so I did what I had to do and accepted the deal, even if it meant getting my heart shattered again.

I take a deep calming breath and my eyes lock with Esmeralda's stormy grey irises. She swallows, and I nod at her to start talking.

"If you love me, Milo, then why do you always treat me like shit ?" She starts softly, but firmly.

I can feel the anger starting to come back in waves.

How dare she say that ? How dare she act like I do it just because I want to, and not because she betrayed me ?

"I can't keep letting you play with my feelings, making me think you actually feel something for me, then lock me out and hurt me like you did two years ago." She adds, breathless.

Alright I am very angry now. I hurt her ?

"Wanna talk about what happened two years ago, Esmeralda ? Okay, we can fucking talk about. But don't you dare lie about it when we both know what really happened." I growl at her and she furrows her eyebrows, confused.

She's driving me out of my mind, and I really am about to unleash all of my anger on the wall.

"How am I lying to you ?! Two years ago, you were my best friend in the entire goddamn world. And I was in love with you." Her voice cracks at the last sentence.

I am taken aback by her confession. She loved me ?

"And when you confessed your feelings to me, I felt on top of the world. I told you I loved you too, and the next morning, you didn't even want to speak to me. I didn't even understand why. You insulted and humiliated me." Tears are now threatening to fall from her eyes. "You broke my heart, when I did nothing to you." She repeats, voice breaking again.

"Nothing ? You did nothing to me ?" I raise my voice. " I confessed my feelings to you, I told you my darkest secrets, and what did you do, then, Esmeralda ?" I look at her dead in the eye and she has the nerve to look confused.

Talking about what happened two years ago hurts so much that for a moment, I want to shatter bones. The day that made me as cold as I am today, is a memory that I would rather have locked away in a small piece of my mind and forget it forever. I force my voice to stay steady, and continue, "That day, after you told me you had feelings for me too, I came over to your house to bring you flowers, I was about to knock on your door when I saw you."

She becomes as white as a sheet.

"There was a naked guy on your bed, while you were getting dressed."

Her face falls.

"That's not what happened, Milo" She responds weakly.

My jaw tightens and I cannot hold it back anymore.

"For fuck's sake ! I saw you in bed with some random guy, Esmeralda. You can't tell me that that's not what happened !" I scream and join my hands into fists.

Tears are now falling down her cheeks, her expression contorted as if she's in pain. How could she be in pain ? I am the one who's in pain right now.

"He wasn't some random guy." Her voice quivers.

How the fuck is that relevant ? She hooked up with someone after I confessed my feelings to her, and she told me she loved me too.

"Then who was he ?!" I shake my head, already exhausted. This isn't going anywhere if she won't even admit that she was wrong, and that she broke my fucking heart.

"Who was he ?!"I yell, this time at her lack of response.

She takes a deep breath, and I am ready to leave the room, and never look back again, but the next thing she says knocks me out cold.

"My rapist."